DS threw bully’s phone in lake

Good effort DS!

I very much doubt the posters on here would be victim blaming the way they are if the ops son was a girl

I think my approach would be to report the bullying to the school, and wait to see what happens.

The only thing we or OP know for certain is that her son threw this girl's phone in a lake. Everything else is what OP's son claimed to OP. It may be true, it may not.

Deny, deny, deny.

She's told her mum a boy grabbed her phone and threw it in the lake. Your son told you he did it because she was filming him being bullied. As far as you've said, there is no independent or impartial account of what happened, and no proof to support either child. You believe your DS, she believes her DD. Stalemate. The only area of agreement is that your DS threw the phone in the lake, because he's admitted it. So I can see why the other mum thinks you should pay. You can explain, but most people believe their own DC.

As they say, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

The girl was gleefully filming her friends bullying the OP's child, presumably to share and laugh at to carry on the bullying on social media.

I imagine there's a chance she wasn't the only one filming. It would probably help if you could get a look at any surviving footage to defend your position, OP. But no, I'd not be paying for it if the story is accurate.

Terrible advice. It was bullying - you have a strange definition of what bullying is. And you want the boy to sit down with this girl as if they are both in the wrong. The OP's mother is protecting him and good for her.

It’s tricky.
Filming person in public in school don’t think is criminal.
Phone is gone so no proof

Partly happened at school so there will be loads of fake stories … kids swearing to be telling truth.

But it is property theft & damage

only way your DS off the hook, is by denying that he did anything

Hope the mum isn’t crazy violent poop thru your letterbox type of person.

only get worse for u & yours.

They don’t care. They’re on the side of bullies, end of.

I don’t even know this boy and yet I feel weirdly proud of him. Society is frankly held to ransom by scumbags and I feel v pleased whenever I see somebody with the gumption to stand up to them. Like the bloke who gave the armed shop robber the other day a good kicking.

How do you think these kids being bullied feel when it's posted all over social media?

I think there are a lot of defensive posts on here by parents of ‘spirited’ children.

‘Took his anger out on a girl bystander’

Oh please, this is pathetic

Filming somebody else being bullied makes you complicit, not a bystander

She filmed it. She didn't do the actual bullying. Not appropriate to throw her phone.

I'd message her with:

"I'm not sure if your DD has told you the same version of events as my DS has. One of her friends was bullying my son, damaging his property and she was joining in, laughing and mocking him as he was being attacked. She was recording it on her phone at the time and in anger he grabbed it and threw it in the lake. While I don't agree with anyone damaging or destroying anyone's property (and this includes the boy that was damaging my DS's property too), the phone being lost would not have happened had it not been for your DD and her friend's actions and I will most definitely not be paying for a replacement."

Then block if she doubles down.

Oh fgs.

I mean of course the child being humiliated and victimised by a group and fearing for their safety should make sure that the person recording their lowest moments has a vagina. If they have a penis, it's fine.

Also, the bullied and harassed child should check asses the extent to which the person with a penis is participating beforehand

You bully and get your phone broken? GOOD. This is how we learn to be mature adults (rather than ending up as entitled shits who hurt others). By facing consequences.

She was filming him having his books thrown on the floor. That’s how he got her phone. The stories tally perfectly. She’s a nasty little (insert whatever word you like) and she got her comeuppance

Exactly

GOOD ON YOUR SON!

Sick of these pathetic whiny tiktokers who bully other children yet go snivelling to their parents the moment they get a taste of their own medicine

Tell the mother to fuck off, and fuck off some more

That’s what you get for being a bully

Rubbish, she wasn't just a bystander and as she hit him maybe she will be the one to face some justice

I wouldn't be impressed that he took his anger out on a girl bystander. I'm sure her mum will ring the police and your son will be made to engage with restorative justice.

Being bullied is shit. Obviously that needs tackling as a separate issue.

I’d want to know how they got my number … but no, justice served. Mean kid gets her just deserts, maybe she won’t use her next phone to film people being bullied.

I would report the online bullying to the police and let them back up your son