DS threw bully’s phone in lake

I genuinely don't understand why more people pushing their phones into peoples faces don't get them slapped out of their hand.

Throw the mother in the lake. She can then get the bloody thing herself.

Is there any evidence of your DS touching the phone? You know, apart from the word of a bunch of kids who were engaged in bullying him at the time?

If the answer is no then tell them all to piss off.

If the answer is yes then tell them you're happy not to pursue assault charges if they are happy to forget about the phone.

"My son was verbally and physically assaulted at the park today, an attack that appeared to have been filmed by others. This has been reported to school and may also be taken to the police. I will not be responding further to any communication regarding this until all the legal channels have been exhausted.

No, do not admit to even touching the phone.

One problem with telling the truth of the incident here - with an implicit appeal to a sensenof justice - is the assumption that this mother cares what her daughter did. That's not a given.

The other problematic element is that you should never admit fault. It's up to the accuser to prove an accusation.

DS did the right thing. The fact that someone can be a bystander and film speaks volumes about their values. Foul and disgusting, whether you throw the punch or record.

Also, what is with the girl hitting him? How is this girl some innocent party in this. Should she not be up for assault charges?

DS did what I would be so proud of my kid was being bullied.

Don’t pay for anything, keep the recording and talk to the school and the police.

Notice how the mum with the angry voice message obviously didn’t ask how DS is. Shows where her daughter learned her lack of empathy.

I hope DS and his friend is ok.

I'm so sorry for your family and your poor sister.

So pay bullies not to post humiliating videos? Fuck that. In for a penny in for a pound OP - don’t let them get a penny out of you, or an apology. You stand firm with your son.

She didn't admit what she had done.

She probably felt her mother would be angry with her if she told her she had lost the phone so instead told her the boy had thrown it in the lake, with no context.

Legally, the filming could be seen as incitement, with the wrecking of the books done as a performance for the camera, with the intention of keeping a record of the humiliation, and the implicit threat of showing it to others.

Your son did the wrong thing for the right reason. Digital media doesn't go away, that video could haunt him for a long time. I don't blame him. I'd pay for a new phone (if I had really had to) and consider the cost a small payoff for what could have been a humiliating video doing the rounds.

Did the mother apologise for her daughter's awful behaviour? Maybe say you will be taking it further that she assaulted your son? I hope your son is okay. Whoever thinks it's acceptable to film bullying, which is awful in itself, makes me feel sick when these videos appear online.

She was absolutely instrumental in bullying him.
Not only humiliating him at the time, as well as egging the ringleaders on (they're not exactly going to back down when being filmed by the people cheering them on. It's a form of peer pressure). But also the intention was to perpetuate the bullying afterwards by sharing footage of the incident with classmates.

I don't understand how so many posters are saying she was just a bystander.

The only agreed fact is that your DS obtained and destroyed a girl's phone, of unknown value.

You and the mother seem to me both equally unreasonable, in each taking any decision at all, merely based only on their own dear child's version of the loss!

You need to investigate before anything else. You might sensibly do so jointly with the mother if possible.

(For example, it might turn out that...

• your DS might have been mistaken, the girl might have been filming the bullies to help your DS!
• The phone might have cost £1500!
• Your DS might have been bullying the girl!
• The "bullies" might have been helping an earlier victim of your DS's misbehaviour. *Etc, etc, etc,....

Hearing more than one side of a story before passing judgment is just basic common sense. For a start, you could

• ask DS to show you what the school chatter on the internet is.
• Put the mother's story version to your DS and judge his reaction.
• Suggest to DS that you both confront the girl and her mother, or both complain to the school, and judge those reactions too.
• Then decide if it might be time to support your DS; and/or challenge the bullies; and/or really get the school involved; and/or repay the girl's mother; and/or so on.

My younger sister was bullied dreadfully both in person and on social media.
Then one day she walked home at lunch and hung herself. She never told any of us that people were harassing her.
Bullying has serious repercussions and even more serious consequences.
I doubt this girl was filming this episode of bullying so that she could show it to the authorities in defense of the victim - if that were the case, he wouldn’t have thrown her phone in the lake.
Which logically means she was filming and fully taking part in the bullying.
Bullying is a stupid, dangerous waste of time and life.

Even if his story is 100% true, it doesn't actually justify throwing a phone into the water, though I understand it was likely a split second reaction. As the other parent I wouldn't be impressed - not sure if I would pursue it though. And I'd tell my daughter off.

But if it is systematic bullying, you should get school involved.

None of us were there so we can't know for sure what happened. I do know a thing or two about the mindset of bullies, and that's if I had felt so threatened that I had to throw someone's phone to get them away from me, they probably wouldn't let me toddle off home after doing so. They would have battered me. I don't think DS is telling the whole truth. I don't understand why he felt emboldened to do such a thing to a girl who was actually a bit of a bystander, but not stick up for himself. Could it not be that he thought it would be funny to throw it, and is trying to get out of what he's done? I'd listen to all sides first because if I were the other parent I'd put a small claims in for the value of the phone. It'd be worth it. I would just end the conversation with the other parent without admitting to anything, if you really don't want to pay it.

Obviously a fabricated story.

I'd ignore the call though.

Play silly games, you win silly prizes. As someone who was bullied relentlessly in school I wish I'd been brave enough to do something like that.

Tell the mother you have videos to pass the police of the daughter filming the bullying. You will see they stop but if I were you I would find the videos and contact the police. Your poor son. 😟

Do not engage with the mum. It will just make her more unhinged.

Let's face it.... I highly doubt the mother will report it or take it to civil court.

I doubt the girl was recording to provide evidence.... being a mother of teens... I'm pretty confident it would have been shared far and wide via SM to cause further humiliation to your son 😤 this is why is reaction, although extreme, was to get rid of the handset!

He defended himself! Sounds like that girl will benefit from not having a phone IMO x

Hope that you and your son are ok xx

Replace it for a 10 quid one with no recording facilities.

Sorry that’s bollocks!

iPhones are waterproof to 30 meters so it will probably be OK. If you can find it!