DS threw bully’s phone in lake

Unfortunately whatever any of us think, and however many versions of the truth there are, only one child has caused criminal damage.
Try and sort it out with the parents @CandidBeaker

Sounds like a dose of FAFO - fuck about and find out.

If she tells the insurance she knows who threw the phone in the lake they will come after the boy responsible. They threw his books on the ground, pretty much no damage done, he threw her phone in the lake and she wasn't the one throwing his books. I'm afraid I think you have to pay for the phone or buy a second hand equivalent.

Three girls and one boy were 'bullying' two boys and two of the group of four were younger, and your son while being bullied somehow got her phone off her, I assume some sort of struggle and threw it in the lake. I think I'd like to hear the other side of the story.

How did she get your number

Presumably this was not on school premises and not in school time. If there are ongoing issues amongst this group, is the school aware of them?

Don't admit to anything over text.

I would say you'd be happy to pay for the replacement phone if she can get you the footage from the phone as it needs to go to the police/school. Along with the names of all the children bullying your child, including her daughters details too obviously. That should see the end of any demands.

Good on your son. I would say the bully got what she deserved.

He won't get anymore trouble from them 😆 as for replacing the phone.. jog on. She was part of the bullying, filming it to presumably share on social media and among friends.. nice piece of work.

That's why a lot of people go down the civil route.

Bullying is horrendous but how thick are these people that they want it filmed.

The evidence is right there. (Or was).

Did they just let your child get away after that?
It's lucky they didn't go after him and hurt him more thank god.

It's only £70 and if the phone was up to £1000.

I would if someone destroyed my phone.

Definitely involve the school. It'll get worse if you try to deal with this alone.
I completely understand your son's reaction, however that girl will have gone home to her mum with her own story.
Bullying is a big word for a one off incident (not excusing the behaviour) and im not sure this was bullying, but more idiot behaviour.
The mum will be angry at having to replace the phone, so you might have to prepare yourself to pay something towards it.

The police will do fuck all. Not for that value. I lost more than £500 recently due to criminal damage. Police know who it is. They are doing nothing as it's not 'important' enough and they need the resources for bigger crime. I complained officially and nothing came out of it.

Bullies often put in counter claims of bullying and who is a third party going to believe was the bully, the person who had their phone thrown in the lake or the person who threw it?

To be honest, I'd think it much more likely for a bully to actually steal a phone - at least temporarily - either to gain from/sell it for the value of the phone, or, more likely, to look through it for private photos or messages that they could exploit to intensify their abuse of the victim.

Just trying to get into the mind of a bully, I would have thought that just chucking it straight into a lake would be the last thing they'd do for their 'fun'.

Good on your DS. I wouldn't pay her anything at all. Looks like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I'd suggest a meet up with mum and both your dc, see how the conversation goes.
Why did you throw her phone in the lake
She was filming me
Why were you filming him
I wasn't, or it was funny but I wasn't bullying him
Hopefully mums can be united and she can claim on her insurance

I cannot imagine anyone going to the cost and effort of pursuing a civil case against someone for the cost of their kid's phone

I would reply by outlining your son's version of events, and then explain that you won't be replacing anything. Then I wouldn't interact further. I very much doubt that anyone else will get involved, and the only evidence of what happened is likely to be hearsay from those who were present.

This.

Or indeed a civil case against you. They may win, they may not. But it's a risk you have to consider.

Play big boy games, get big boy results

Yes, I agree. None of us were there and are able to testify what happened one way or the other.

That said, I think it's often manifest to parents when their kids are frequently involved in/accused of such cases of bullying on a regular basis - if they choose to believe it, of course.

Obviously, it's by no means 'evidence' of any kind, but I wonder if OP's DS has been accused of similar acts as an aggressor before - as these other children have?

Natural justice aside, your ds is now in a position where he has damaged someone’s phone and is going to have a hard time proving it was justified. Bullies often put in counter claims of bullying and who is a third party going to believe was the bully, the person who had their phone thrown in the lake or the person who threw it?

While I agree in your position I certainly wouldn’t be rushing to pay for the phone, you need to teach your ds better ways of dealing with situations like this, so he doesn’t potentially end up in more trouble than the bully.

Hell, no. Her daughter got what she deserved. It's called karma. If she doesn't want her phone thrown in a lake, she shouldnt be bullying your son or filming him being bullied. Tough shit.

Was she doing anything else apart from filming? It looks a bit from your description that she was just filming so it might go against your son.
Also were other bullies boys? If yes, and he went after a girl, it’s not good.
I understand that he wanted to stop filming and was upset but the truth might be a bit more complicated than his story.