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Original poster

To feel worried about what nursery staff will think?

37 replies

birbfbb · 18/06/2024 13:15

I have an almost 2 year old. Her dad sees her but has limited involvement. He recently said he wanted to be on the birth certificate and I was really pleased about this as I felt it was a great shame for her not to have her dad on it. I know the risk with him being on there etc but I am able to defend myself should he apply to court etc and have the means to do that. I am not worried about the rights it would give him. I really do want him on there.

I booked an appointment for it and he didn’t turn up. I am really gutted because soon I will have to give the nursery the birth certificate and her dad’s space will be blank.

I feel like the nursery will judge me even though I would have had him on there the first time if he had wanted to be on it. He said at the time he didn’t want to be on there. I feel like they will see DD differently and she will be judged. I’m just really stressed about it and almost don’t want to claim the free hours so I won’t have to show them the certificate.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 18/06/2024 13:22

You are massively overthinking this. No one will care. Personally I think it's very sensible in certain circumstances for a father not to be on the birth certificate...so it's not something I'd negatively judge at all

BusyCM · 18/06/2024 13:21

Honestly I'm a childminder and see lots of birth certs, I absolutely wouldn't judge!

However they probably already know since you would have given details of those who have parental responsibility when she joined.

UprootedSunflower · 18/06/2024 13:21

I’ve handled hundreds, maybe thousands of birth certificates, at work and tbh I’ve probably not even noticed. You want the full name and dob, no reason to scan down further. If I did I wouldn’t blink, it’s not unusual and there’s so many different reasons for it.

InTheRainOnATrain · 18/06/2024 13:20

Honestly I think you’re better off not having him on the BC! You can always show nursery their passport instead if she has one? I’ve always been asked for that and no one has ever mentioned the birth certificate which I don’t think I even have copies of. But they will not care and will have seen it many, many times before.

Georgethecat1 · 18/06/2024 13:20

They will have seen a lot worse! Main questions from them might be around safe guarding and if dad is allowed to pick up / drop off etc. Who is approved to get them in emergencies etc.

LostMySocks · 18/06/2024 13:20

Nursery really won't mind or judge.
As only are in the birth certificate only you have parental responsibility so legally you can make all the decisions for your child without the dad being involved. This makes your life much more simple particularly if you want to apply for passports or go abroad.

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 18/06/2024 13:19

They won't even notice, it's just an admin task for them.

Wills890 · 18/06/2024 13:19

birbfbb · 18/06/2024 13:15

I have an almost 2 year old. Her dad sees her but has limited involvement. He recently said he wanted to be on the birth certificate and I was really pleased about this as I felt it was a great shame for her not to have her dad on it. I know the risk with him being on there etc but I am able to defend myself should he apply to court etc and have the means to do that. I am not worried about the rights it would give him. I really do want him on there.

I booked an appointment for it and he didn’t turn up. I am really gutted because soon I will have to give the nursery the birth certificate and her dad’s space will be blank.

I feel like the nursery will judge me even though I would have had him on there the first time if he had wanted to be on it. He said at the time he didn’t want to be on there. I feel like they will see DD differently and she will be judged. I’m just really stressed about it and almost don’t want to claim the free hours so I won’t have to show them the certificate.

Nursery staff see children from all sorts of homes, this is an absolute non issue to them. They will only photocopy it, it's doubtful that they will even notice. Give yourself a break!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 18/06/2024 13:18

Honestly I really wouldn’t give it a second thought.

veryawkwardohno · 18/06/2024 13:18

The nursery would have seen loads of birth certificates without the dad on.
Why on earth would they treat a 2 year old differently because of not having a dad named on their birth certificate?? Why would anyone do that?

AngelDelightButNotStrawberry · 18/06/2024 13:18

Nursery really really won’t care.

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 18/06/2024 13:17

Honestly, nursery wont even raise an eyebrow. They've seen everything. They know families come in all different shapes and sizes. They wont judge you and they wont treat your child differently.