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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Flower girl depleting my bush

158 replies

TeaGinandFags · 18/06/2024 09:39

I feel that I'm being mean but I also want her to stop.

My lovely neighbour has an adorable little girl who's been picking roses off my bush for her teacher. She does this every day.

The bush is a mature Alida Lovett, so clusters of pale pink fragrant single layer flowers. It is a large plant and smells and looks bloody amazing.

While I would never bedrudge a bloom or two to others, especially a long suffering educator, I think that every day is a bit much.

YABU don't be so stingy. She's only small and her teacher deserves appreciation

YANBU once or twice is fine, but not all the time. Offer the school some cuttings instead.

OP posts:
LaMadameCholet · 18/06/2024 21:25

I work in a secondary school, and a rather quirky year 7 boy started bringing in daffodils every morning and giving a little bunch to every member of staff. At first we thought he was just giving them to each of us alone, then we realised he was giving them to everyone, therefore he was coming in with armfuls of daffodils every day. When we asked him where he was getting them he said “Oh it’s fine, there’s LOADS in the park, you can just help yourself every morning!”

Cherrysoup · 18/06/2024 21:17

PMSL at your title! Obviously tell her mum to stop her, she’s thieving.

Calliopespa · 18/06/2024 21:02

It reminds me of the time I went fishing as a young teen with a few horny teen boys. They kept finding they needed to ask me to “hold my rod” ; “ can you see my rod?”; “ do you think mine’s quite a large rod?” etc accompanied by much sniggering. It was awful …

Calliopespa · 18/06/2024 20:58

oakleaffy · 18/06/2024 20:48

So many flaws with this tale….
🥀

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You’re not suggesting the op just cooked up an excuse to post online about her prickly bush?

That was a most excellently selected icon btw!

Easipeelerie · 18/06/2024 20:56

I bet she tells her teacher they’re from her own garden.
You need to ask her mum to tell her to stop.

GG1986 · 18/06/2024 20:48

cuckyplunt · 18/06/2024 09:43

Tell her she needs to leave the flowers for the bees and the butterflies otherwise there will be no new flowers next year.
If she keeps on doing it have a word with her mother.

This!

Calliopespa · 18/06/2024 20:48

Bababa2456 · 18/06/2024 20:37

I think the OP knew what she was posting- for traffic :)

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I think so too …

oakleaffy · 18/06/2024 20:48

TotalAbsenceOfImperialRaiment · 18/06/2024 18:45

And how is she getting the cut flower to school without the petals falling off?

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So many flaws with this tale….
🥀

Delphiniumandlupins · 18/06/2024 20:47

Does the rose bush grow over the boundary into their garden? They're entitled to pick/trim it back but should offer it to you first. Presumably the first time they spoke to you and that's how you know they're for her teacher? Either she's just pulling the heads off or she's coming equipped. I would point out to the parents the danger of thorns as well as the illegality/bees etc.

Cheesetoastiees · 18/06/2024 20:46

I suppose if you were worried then you could suggest to her mum she picks one flower a week on a Friday for her teacher. I’m pretty sure most people would get it though if you said to mum you wanted her to stop picking the flowers of your bush!

oakleaffy · 18/06/2024 20:46

Bababa2456 · 18/06/2024 20:37

I think the OP knew what she was posting- for traffic :)

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Yes , agreed.
A silly title , an unlikely story and op hasn’t been back.

oakleaffy · 18/06/2024 20:45

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 18/06/2024 09:45

Is she doing it unaided? You will usually need scissors to pick roses.
In any case, I’d tell her mother very firmly that once was allowed, but it’s now got to stop.

This was my immediate thought.
They aren’t an easily pickable flower
especially for a small child.

SpideyVerse · 18/06/2024 20:44

cuckyplunt · 18/06/2024 09:43

Tell her she needs to leave the flowers for the bees and the butterflies otherwise there will be no new flowers next year.
If she keeps on doing it have a word with her mother.

Yes, This.

Additionally, perhaps offer her some of the blooms when pruning the bush yourself.
That way she understands she can present your flowers to her teacher only when you gift them to the little girl first.
(Thus, its aways with your blessing and the blooms/frequency of your choosing.)

Razorwire · 18/06/2024 20:43

Be out there before her tending to your rose bush. Cut one properly and give to her.
Say: you must tell your teacher that this is the last flower. the rose bush needs the flowers now. . You must always ask permission.

Bababa2456 · 18/06/2024 20:37

Calliopespa · 18/06/2024 20:19

Oh we crossed posts! Glad I’m not the only one whose mind veered off down that path.

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I think the OP knew what she was posting- for traffic :)

Whowahway123 · 18/06/2024 20:35

I’d actually take a different tone…

id get a cutting or indeed a small inexpensive rose but and go to the little girl and tell her that you know she finds your rose bush so pretty but the bees need it more than picking it. Then give over said smaller rose bush and say ‘so I’ve brought you your very own rose bush for your garden to love and watch it grow so you can leave mine alone now’

mum/ dad should definitely get the hint!!!

Buffypaws · 18/06/2024 20:30

I have rose bushes in my garden and I have never picked one. It seems wrong!

SarahAndQuack · 18/06/2024 20:29

poolemoney · 18/06/2024 12:56

Do they clone rose bushes now? Colour me impressed.

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I'm sorry, but as a gardener that made me grin. Roses have been grown as grafts (clones) for, um, centuries.

Calliopespa · 18/06/2024 20:19

Bababa2456 · 18/06/2024 20:16

OOOOOOOh matron!

C'mon.

You thought long and hard about your subject line .😂

You wanted us to think it was a young bridesmaid giving your bush a pre-nup intimate trim.

Oh we crossed posts! Glad I’m not the only one whose mind veered off down that path.

Calliopespa · 18/06/2024 20:18

I was expecting a post involving a pre-honeymoon bride, a flower girl and a Gillette intimate grooming device. Misleading subject line?

Bababa2456 · 18/06/2024 20:16

OOOOOOOh matron!

C'mon.

You thought long and hard about your subject line .😂

You wanted us to think it was a young bridesmaid giving your bush a pre-nup intimate trim.

Vettrianofan · 18/06/2024 20:13

Shittyproblem · 18/06/2024 17:53

I imagined a very different scenario when I read the title !

🤣 you and me both 😂😂

Vettrianofan · 18/06/2024 20:11

She needs to leave your bloody bush alone. Hands off!

Yellowbananasarebetterthangreen · 18/06/2024 20:08

RedHelenB · 18/06/2024 09:56

Yabu. Your rose bush is making more people happy than just you. And the roses will die eventually anyway.

The flowers will die quicker once picked than if left on the bush.
Is something that gives pleasure to others therefore automatically fine for others to help themselves too.
Would you feel this way if it was a lovely plant flowering in your own garden?
Can I pop round and pinch stuff from your place?

SallyWD · 18/06/2024 19:54

When I was a child, a family up the road had a raspberry bush in the front garden. I always used to take a raspberry as I walked past. Once the mum spotted me and said "Excuse me, can you not take my raspberries please?" in quite an angry way. I was mortified! It never occurred to me that I was doing anything wrong.
I can tell you I never went near her raspberry bush again! Do tell her! She probably doesn't realise you don't like it. Once you tell her I'm pretty sure she never do it again. Children hate being told off by grown ups who aren't their parents. She'll get the message!