Page 3 | Neighbour annoyed at me over her bins

happyhippo1 · 2024-06-18T08:15:58+00:00

I happened to speak to my neighbour a couple of weeks ago and she mentioned that she was going on holiday and her daughter was staying at home (she looks to be late 20s). She said to me that her daughter can be a bit lazy and not put the bin out and would I mind doing it for her. I explained that I’d add it to my list but my husband was working away, I was working in the office on the day the bins were put out so I’d be doing mine quickly and I’d have a quick check of hers while the kids were getting into the car in the morning. anyway, I see the bin sitting outside her house on the morning of bin day so I jumped in the car and went to work. when she came back from holiday she turned up on my door step furious that her bin hadn’t been put out. Turned out it was the neighbour’s binned positioned in front of her house. I’d dialled off a work call to answer the door to her and I saw red tbh. I asked why her jobless daughter had a problem putting the bins out when she was sitting in the house. she stormed off and I haven’t seen her since. tbh I do feel a bit bad but there was a bin outside the house, unmarked with no house number. Was I to rifle through the bins for signs it was hers? Go to the door at 7am to ask the daughter if it was her bin? Enter her property to check on her bins? why can’t people just do simple tasks?

Staringatthewalljustmeagain · 21/06/2024 07:08

Nextdoor55 · 20/06/2024 23:29

You are judgemental though you don't know anything about the DD except that you've "seen her go out ".
Just because she goes out doesn't mean she doesn't I don't know, have some other issues that you wouldn't know about.
At the end of the day you said you'd put bins out & didn't. Then she got upset with you because you failed to do what you said you'd do regardless of the DD. You knew DD was staying there so if you were going to use this as a reason not to do neighbour this favour then you should never have agreed in the first place.
Don't not do what you agreed then blame other people it's not a good look

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You look a Wally when you don’t read the OP’s posts.

Original poster

happyhippo1 · 21/06/2024 05:32

Nextdoor55 · 20/06/2024 23:29

You are judgemental though you don't know anything about the DD except that you've "seen her go out ".
Just because she goes out doesn't mean she doesn't I don't know, have some other issues that you wouldn't know about.
At the end of the day you said you'd put bins out & didn't. Then she got upset with you because you failed to do what you said you'd do regardless of the DD. You knew DD was staying there so if you were going to use this as a reason not to do neighbour this favour then you should never have agreed in the first place.
Don't not do what you agreed then blame other people it's not a good look

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Did you read my OP?

tiring when people don’t do the basics like read the thread (or put their bins out…)

OP posts:

DejectedRejected · 21/06/2024 01:16

@Nextdoor55 OP said she would check the bin was out. She did. There was a bin outside the property. Wind yer neck in love, and get your daughter to do it next time. Or if she is so challenged to not be able to put the bin out, don’t leave her on her own.

Itisjustmyopinion · 21/06/2024 00:59

Nextdoor55 · 20/06/2024 23:29

You are judgemental though you don't know anything about the DD except that you've "seen her go out ".
Just because she goes out doesn't mean she doesn't I don't know, have some other issues that you wouldn't know about.
At the end of the day you said you'd put bins out & didn't. Then she got upset with you because you failed to do what you said you'd do regardless of the DD. You knew DD was staying there so if you were going to use this as a reason not to do neighbour this favour then you should never have agreed in the first place.
Don't not do what you agreed then blame other people it's not a good look

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At the end of the day the OP was doing the neighbour a favour, she saw a bin was outside the address and didn’t question it or investigate further. I am guessing most people would do the same, especially when trying to get out the door in the morning

What she didn’t deserve was that favour coming back to but her when the neighbour comes round to start harassing her. What a way to ensure that there are no favours done in the future. And if I was the OP I would be telling the other neighbours to ignore any requests unless you want a mouthful of abuse to

Renamed · 20/06/2024 23:50

OP it wouldn’t have taken you five minutes to hammer on the door and yell through the letterbox “IS THE BIN OUT? AND HAVE YOU PUT THE RUBBISH IN IT? HAVE YOU BEEN CLEANING YOUR TEETH?”

Amazed you didn’t really.

Nextdoor55 · 20/06/2024 23:29

happyhippo1 · 19/06/2024 21:43

I said to the neighbour that I’d check and I did. Bin at bottom of drive unmarked - made a best efforts guess.
the daughter is lazy not disabled - I see her leaving for nights out in taxis done up to the 9s (good on her - we all deserve to go out) but definitely not too ill to put a bin out.

why does Mumsnet automatically jump to “she could be disabled…” if she was disabled then I wouldn’t have started a thread and I’d have probably offered to put the bins out. she is not disabled and I can’t keep saying it. Laziness exists!

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You are judgemental though you don't know anything about the DD except that you've "seen her go out ".
Just because she goes out doesn't mean she doesn't I don't know, have some other issues that you wouldn't know about.
At the end of the day you said you'd put bins out & didn't. Then she got upset with you because you failed to do what you said you'd do regardless of the DD. You knew DD was staying there so if you were going to use this as a reason not to do neighbour this favour then you should never have agreed in the first place.
Don't not do what you agreed then blame other people it's not a good look

swampygirl · 20/06/2024 14:00

Tell her to go and do one. Cheeky mare!
And don't do anything for her again.

You've your own life to lead, work and kids to care for. You don't need unnecessary shit on top.

Katyfromsooside · 20/06/2024 12:34

Exactly !!!!

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 20/06/2024 09:57

SoEmbarrassed2024 · 20/06/2024 09:05

Tbh I think the mother was a massive CF even asking you to get involved with the bins. Her daughter is an adult, not a child, and should be putting the bins out

No wonder we have so many young people who are completely incapable, their parents seem to have zero expectations of them

Not only that but OP doesn't even appear to be particularly friendly with them! She seems to not know much about them really.

Completely not your responsibility @happyhippo1 .

SoEmbarrassed2024 · 20/06/2024 09:05

Tbh I think the mother was a massive CF even asking you to get involved with the bins. Her daughter is an adult, not a child, and should be putting the bins out

No wonder we have so many young people who are completely incapable, their parents seem to have zero expectations of them

SchoolQuestionnaire · 20/06/2024 08:09

Yanbu op. You said you’d check the bin was out, you did that. She was bu to even ask when there is a grown adult in the house but telling you off was cf territory. My ds is 18 and occasionally forgets to do things (not often actually but sometimes). That doesn’t mean we should stop asking him!! It just means we may need to remind him more.

This whole situation is ridiculous. I couldn’t bring myself to ask a busy neighbour to do something that my own child should be doing.

DejectedRejected · 20/06/2024 07:57

Some of the comments blaming the OP definitely sound like the CF neighbour is on the thread.

The OP didn’t mention the layout - why are people saying go in through the garden gate’ - what garden gate? How do you know it was a quick job.

The OP agreed to: CHECK.THE.BIN.WAS.OUT.
The OP saw a bin was outside the property. SHE.HAD.CHECKED.THE.BIN.WAS.OUT

Who on earth genuinely expects there to then be an investigation to see if said bin is THE bin.

Posters here blaming OP for something that isn’t her job…

CFs….CFs everywhere!

AmIEnough · 20/06/2024 07:51

This is on her and her daughter, not on you! She has raised a Lazy good for nothing child and now she is reaping the rewards! Do not feel bad this is absolutely not on you!

Sarahzb · 19/06/2024 23:31

The Force wasn't with you obvs

This is not the bin you are looking for...

skyandocean · 19/06/2024 23:25

@Growlybear83 you do know some houses have bins at the back, so what was op supposed to do, leave her kids in the car whilst she goes to the back of the house to check. There was a bin outside, op said she'll keep an eye if the bin is already out and it was.
The neighbour is cheeky for asking when she has a useless good for nothing adult daughter sat indoors. Perhaps teach her so she isn't a lazy piece of shiz

OneWildBiscuit · 19/06/2024 23:06

Growlybear83 · 18/06/2024 09:50

Good grief - would it really have been such a hardship to have helped a neighbour out under these circumstances? Most bins where I live only get emptied fortnightly now, and if a collection is missed in the summer, there's a good chance the bin would be revolting and maggoty after a month. If you said you would check your neighbour's bin on collection day, then I can understand why she was pissed off. Unless you've got an extraordinarily long driveway it only takes a couple of minutes to put a bin out.

Did you miss the bit about there already being a bin outside the neighbour's door which she naturally presumed the daughter had put out?

Original poster

happyhippo1 · 19/06/2024 21:43

Nextdoor55 · 19/06/2024 19:17

The only reason you've been unreasonable is because you said you'd do this for her & didn't. Then you made comments about her DD. She might have some sort of disability that you don't know about, or disorder.
I get why you got annoyed but you want to get on with your neighbour & now well you probably won't which is a long term pain.

I said to the neighbour that I’d check and I did. Bin at bottom of drive unmarked - made a best efforts guess.
the daughter is lazy not disabled - I see her leaving for nights out in taxis done up to the 9s (good on her - we all deserve to go out) but definitely not too ill to put a bin out.

why does Mumsnet automatically jump to “she could be disabled…” if she was disabled then I wouldn’t have started a thread and I’d have probably offered to put the bins out. she is not disabled and I can’t keep saying it. Laziness exists!

OP posts:

Dogsbreath7 · 19/06/2024 21:28

Growlybear83 · 18/06/2024 09:50

Good grief - would it really have been such a hardship to have helped a neighbour out under these circumstances? Most bins where I live only get emptied fortnightly now, and if a collection is missed in the summer, there's a good chance the bin would be revolting and maggoty after a month. If you said you would check your neighbour's bin on collection day, then I can understand why she was pissed off. Unless you've got an extraordinarily long driveway it only takes a couple of minutes to put a bin out.

Did you actually read OP post? There was a bin outside the house so she presumed the feckless dtr had done it.

its completely off the neighbour charged at the OP- she wasn’t under any contractual obligation to do this. Why are people so f***ing entitled?

I am with those who say at least you are free from future neighbourly requests- good riddance. And if she has the hard neck to ask anything again - the answer is no!

Abi86 · 19/06/2024 21:01

Who are the lunatic 3% who think the OP is being unreasonable?

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 19/06/2024 20:20

Even if OP had said "I will put the bin out" when she saw a bin outside the house it would be fair for her to think "Oh! The bin is already out". I certainly wouldn't expect the OP to go around the back of the house to check there's not another bin lurking!

Cop on. Neighbour is reaping the rewards of raising an entitled daughter. No way is this any of @happyhippo1's responsibility.

Staringatthewalljustmeagain · 19/06/2024 20:05

beckybarefoot · 19/06/2024 16:15

@happyhippo1 yes, you mentioned in your opening thread.. however youve added your own judgement of said young adult..

the lazy arsed bone idle daughter needs to pick up some responsibilities.

its one thing for a parent to call their child lazy.. its another for someone else to do so!

You're coming across very aggressive.. you seem to have some 'beef' with said daughter. your anger should be directed at the neighbour who put you in this position in the first place, and has then since come stomping to your door having a go at you.

it seems to have all blown out of preportion.. you were asked to carry out a task for whatever reason, and you agreed, with conditions. by all accounts, you believed that the bin had in fact been put out, which i agree, i'd probably assume the same. and then the neighbour comes back from holiday has a go at you for not putting her bin out.. and you are angry at the daughter when you should be angry at the neighbour!

It’s official. People have lost their fucking minds over this thread. 😂

LittleMrsExhausted · 19/06/2024 20:01

I must be an utter cow. I wouldn't even have entertained 'checking' I would have just said no. 🤣
It's not your fault they have not taught their daughter real normal life skills.

Skodacool · 19/06/2024 19:18

happyhippo1 · 18/06/2024 13:23

Yeah I did say that to her first but I don’t think she was listening - just pissed off that her bin wasn’t emptied. Maybe shouldn’t have seen red but when you’re running a house, full time job, two kids and the husband is working away getting into trouble for not putting out the bin when there’s someone idle and jobless in the house rankles a bit!

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OP, you’re absolutely right!

Nextdoor55 · 19/06/2024 19:17

The only reason you've been unreasonable is because you said you'd do this for her & didn't. Then you made comments about her DD. She might have some sort of disability that you don't know about, or disorder.
I get why you got annoyed but you want to get on with your neighbour & now well you probably won't which is a long term pain.

Jeannie88 · 19/06/2024 19:16

Yanbu at all! Bins can be put out the night before so no excuse for lazy daughter not to do it. You've got your hands full and did the check. Sounds like the neighbour needs to vent the same frustration on her DC rather than you. Xx