So I don’t know if I’m just overreacting or if my feelings are valid.
My husband and I have been together almost 10 years and have 2 kids. One in primary school and one who does mornings at nursery.
Currently I am a sahm - whilst youngest is at nursery I do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping etc etc then once kids are home I am with them.
My Husband works full time but from home and has a pretty relaxed work load(often watching tv or playing on his phone). Although he’s home I do not bother him in his study at all and keep the kids away.
But once he’s finished working I am fed up of being a one man marching band. He’s an amazing dad(fun, caring and kind) but literally is like I have a third child to contend with. He doesn’t pick up after himself and likes to spend the time after work playing Xbox or games on his phone.
Asking him to do anything is pointless as I end up having to do it myself. He leaves a tornado like mess in his path and never does any of the housework he says he will do eg - cleaning up after his dog (agreed that the dog was solely his responsibility when we got it) but will happily walk the dog for ages and play on his phone.
This weekend his mother decided to spring a last minute visit on us so I ran around like a headless chicken trying to clean the house and rather then helping he sat on his phone (I did ask)
His mother clearly dislikes me and always judges me yet I spend my time bending over backwards for her when she’s here. When we first told her I was pregnant she suggested an abortion and there’s been negative vibes ever since. But he couldn’t find a reason to say no to her visiting as she “missed” the kids.
Any home improvements that need doing he refuses to let me pay for someone who knows what they are doing but instead will take weeks attempting to fix, either leaving them half done or even more broken so ends up costing more.
He spends money on silly extras and stuff we don’t need whilst we are trying to save so we end up spending more money then we have coming in have to dip into savings.
I have spoken to him many times over the years and each time things improve a little but then go back to how they were if not worse.
I don’t know what advice or help I’m looking for. Maybe more so just to get things off my chest.
Sorry for the long one.