No sex for ten years.. DH not able ..AIBU ?

Wow no way!! Am glad you’ve realised you’ve made a horrible selfish suggestion. Although the fact you want to do it, is bad enough.
I’d happily just use a vibrator. Your poor husband.

Meant to say if I got injured like OPs husband, I wouldn't expect my husband to remain celibate.

Nope. It's cheating and sleazy as fuck!

If I'd been in a similar situation to my
husband I would not want him to remain celibate from age 40something until one of us dies. I just wouldn't.

Going behind his back is another matter. Sticking by him because of a vow written centuries ago is and taken years ago is not a reason to stay. That's why divorce exists.

Yet many mumsnetters insist that marriage is purely a legal contract!

Wouldn't be ok for me. Is cheating plain and simple.

I wouldn't judge you if you went ahead.

There was/is a thread running earlier about a woman with a long term health condition that prevented her or put her off having sex and had recently found out her DH has been having sex with women on the side for years but had no intention of leaving her.

A lot of people suggested she turn a blind eye - a few also said that, being realistic, it was bound to happen.

Aside from the money this sounds similar but with the genders reversed.

OP may wish to have a read - if she hasn’t already.

No clue about your husbands disability but if he can still work his tongue, then get a decent vibrator and have him work the little man in the canoe. But if he's one of those guys that "won't go down there" then you need to have a talk.

Not only are you shit at maths, you also aren't a very nice person.

Why on earth would you do something that you know would destroy your husband, presumably the man you love?

If you miss sex and it's that important to you, leave your husband and go for it. Don't betray him.

Also, the mention of money in your OP is gross.

So you know it would destroy him, but that still isn't enough to stop you wanting to do it just in case he somehow found out afterwards? That doesn't sound like any kind of love I'd want, but if you already cheated in 2019 you can probably convince yourself that it's all fine.

Honestly I would but I know I never had an issue separating emotions from sexual attraction.

Are you confident in being able to keep emotions out of it ? Are you confident in the person's discretion?

Isn’t that 5 years, not 10?

Your husband can do so much better

Some scummy people above.

Husband was injured... HE got compensation for it. You've been living the highlife off his injury, and now that (potentially) the money is depleted, you're looking elsewhere.

You knew you'd miss sex, so a good person would have said "sorry, I can't live without this, I know it's harsh, but I'm leaving you. Keep this money, it's yours."

Instead, it's "you're suffering, I'm going milk as much as I can until I can't handle the lack of sex any more, and then I'm going to cheat on you"

The worst part is you're considering doing it behind his back.

Leave him, as you're already looking. Don't take a penny of the money, and maybe you're a decent person.

2019 was 5 years ago, not 10. Is this just made up? 🙄

Isn’t that 5 years, not 10?

Gosh, that sounds very hard OP. I'm sorry you're in this position.

The only thing I would say is, you don't know the consequences of this one act. You might fall for the guy, you might decide you can't live without sex after all, your husband might find out and be devastated by it:

So I'm not saying yes or no. Just be aware that you can't necessarily control where this will take you.

I don't understand how your husband being physically incapable of sex in any form can be compatible with an amazing lifestyle. I'm kind of stuck here. And also it hasn't 10 years of no sex.

Poor bloke. It's an awful situation. I guess nobody can tell you what to do.

You're thinking of it already. It's likely to happen whether we forbid you or not.

Im sorry and I might be a dick for saying but the fact your seriously considering this tells me your only staying in your marriage for the money

Yes, it would be wrong. Either be honest with your husband and go from there, or split up. It’s shitty to cheat. Extra shitty to enjoy the ‘lovely lifestyle’ due to your husbands compensation, but then fuck someone else when you know it would destroy him.

It would destroy DH if he found out? Surely there's your answer.

Honesty is the best policy. If you're dying for some action and understandably so then you'd have to tell him. Have a look on fab swingers, Ive heard it mentioned here before, can maybe find someone to visit and involve DH so he'd not be left out.

Whoever it is that's offering the no strings bunk up probably doesn't view it quite as 'romantically', for want of a better word, as you do. He's probably looking for an easy opportunity to get his end away and once he's done that, he'll tick you off on his little list and head off elsewhere leaving you feeling used.

Why would cheating be acceptable in these circumstances particularly? Because IMO cheating is cheating, and that’s exactly what you’re proposing.