Dm took all the food for my kids!

No.
Are you nuts?

OP I am so sorry that the two adults you absolutely should be able to rely on, to put you and your children's welfare first, have betrayed your trust and left you in such a difficult position. It's awful and unfair, and I hope you hear those of us saying you are doing an amazing job just keeping on putting one foot in front of the other.
I too have some awful people in my family and I completely understand how sometimes it can just be too draining and costly to keep trying to hold someone to account. I mean - that's exactly why they do what they do, right?
I can only say that if her drama feels like too much right now - actually give yourself a break. Just say 'Mum, I have a lot going on right now, I'm not going to be on text or the phone as regularly. I'll catch up with you when things settle' Then set her number to silent, ignore her messages, and have a few days (or weeks) or peace.
We all know what will happen (or those of us with toxic parents do) - she's going to try every single strategy to get your energy focussed back on her again. That's why you ignore ignore ignore. Don!'t even read them. Let it flow by. I know it's hard but there is nothing that can happen to her that a grown woman with adequate financial resources can't deal with. And you don't have the bandwidth to help her.
As an added bonus, sometimes coming back a few weeks later and reading all her attempts to reel you back in, without the pressure to respond, can give you a really clear insight into who she actually is. And then you can respond accordingly.

Some people have come up with empathic and constructive replies. It is difficult to find them amongst all the unnecessary stuff.
Who gives a fuck how you asked for it back, when you can go shopping, or what she should be feeding a dog.

The key elements are:
Your mother has stolen food from your children. Purposefully, so that she can refuse you when you ask for the money back.
You already know from way back that she is never supportive, is always manipulative, self centred and cruel. But she has chosen to kick you when you're down.
Newly separated, newly employed, either one of these is a huge life event, causing stress and self doubt. She knows this.

I hope that you will basically fuck the thieving cow off, should she try to visit again. That is probably the only way you'll get some peace of mind.
This is technically burglary and if it was me, I would be seriously considering making a complaint of theft against her to the Police.
And just consider the damage she is undoubtedly planning to inflict on the kids, as she plays them off against each other, and you.

I am truly sorry that your mother has reconfirmed how awful she is at a time like this.
I am full of admiration for you, as you pick it all up and deal with it.
The three most important things are that your children won't starve, you will carry on working and the mortgage will be paid.

OP my mum was very tricky but she'd know the difference between human food and dog meat. Dogs don't eat legs of lamb or duck breast unless the dog belonged to Mrs Pomfrey!
Could she be unwell?
I was at a friend's for brunch today and her mil told her she didn't make a tasty meal. She has dementia and ASD. I took no notice.
I'd tell her you need a ocado or morrisons delivery and she's paying for it. I find their meat always has offers. The PPs link looked good.

@EnglishBluebell - I am sure that poisonous is the wrong word to use, when talking about feeding raw chicken to dogs. If it was poisonous, it would make every dog ill, and clearly it doesn’t, so I think what you are trying to say is that it may be hazardous, not it IS poisonous. A quick google shows some sources saying it is generally fine to feed raw chicken to dogs, but that there can be risks (salmonella, and a bacterium that causes something like Guillan Barre syndrome, which can be fatal).

Clearly, as @WalkingonWheels and @WiddlinDiddlin demonstrate, it is perfectly possible to feed dogs raw chicken - from what I have read, you need to be careful about how you buy, store and handle it, but if you take reasonable care, the risks are low.

My local butcher is on Uber Eats. Costs more though.

@Littlechesnuttree sounds like a bigger issue than your DM stealing from you. What do you get out of a relationship with her?

There's a lot of fear obligation and guilt in your posts. To an outsider it sounds like a no brainer to not see your mum again until she apologises and refunds you the money. Or actually consider the £80 a price worth paying for a wake up call and a lot cheaper than the cost of all the therapy you'd otherwise need to untangle yourself from the toxic situation you are now in.

I get my meat delivered. I'm happy with it. In all honesty if I didn't buy it from here we wouldn't be eating it because I can't afford supermarket prices.

https://www.bestmeat.co.uk/

Your vet is wrong.

Funny how I've been feeding raw chicken to dogs for three decades and they've all lived long, happy and healthy lives with no vet treatment other than neutering.

Do some research before making yourself look more ridiculous.

I feed my dogs raw chicken wings/necks/carcasses etc (and other meat, offal, blitzed veg, raw eggs) daily, and have for the better part of 20 years. Dogs are well adapted to eating raw meat, and raw non-weight bearing bones do not splinter, thats cooked bones. Plenty of people feed this way, it's not a new thing.

Feeding a diet of just cooked muscle meat however isn't a balanced diet and is not at all good for a dog.

Back to the point - @Littlechesnuttree if this is how your Mum typically behaves, I think you'd be better going LC or NC with her, her manipulative behaviour is not going to help you at all! I'd tell her not to bother visiting again if her plan is to screw you over every which way when she does.

Jesus wept there are some real bitches on this thread. I feel really bad for you op, I’m lucky that my mum wouldn’t do that to me, if I knew you I’d go to the butchers for you.

hope things improve and please make her buy it next time she needs to understand it’s not cool.

Dogs have a different gut biology to humans and a stronger stomach acid and can happily eat raw chicken without being compromised in any way. It's not the chicken itself that poisons people, it's the bacteria that can grow on it if not handled/stored/cooked correctly. Buying chicken and chucking it in the back of your car for two hours on a warm day is not going to do anyone any good.. and makes me wonder what OPs mum put a fridge full of meat into to transport it home?

Vets are a bit hit and miss about raw diets in dogs, those with experience of it recommend it, those without experience or without dogs say the don't recommend it, it's not based in fact at all, it's personal opinion of whatever vet you see, anyone who says it is dangerous because it's not fit for humans has no clue about it obviously.. In fact the last vet I saw was dead set against it and quite scaremongery about a raw food diet, but when I asked her why she felt that way it was because she was vegan and doesn't condone any person or animal eating meat of any kind.

We've fed our dogs a commercial raw diet for 6+ years and never had a problem with it personally, the health benefits and difference in the poo is well worth the added cost.

Wait a min, do you earn £3k a month? If so, I think I’d write off the £80 and chalk this one up to experience! No point souring your relationship with your mother over this but I’d be very wary of your mother visiting in future, especially after you’ve done a butcher visit 🙈

a lot of online butchers deliver. I would guide your dm to one of those websites and ask her to replace like for like.

Edited as now read updates

Very please MN have deleted your name calling nonsense! 👍🏻

@WalkingonWheels I'm repeating what our dog's vet told us! Pretty sure she knows a little better than you! Raw chicken is poisonous to anyone, not just humans ffs! 🤣🤦‍♀️

@Doteycat Are you drunk?

@PurpleBugz Where was I "kicking" anyone? Please explain

You may well be right, @forthestory - I have lost track of some of the chronology, I’m afraid - I blame long covid brain fog!

Clearly your mother is a pos, she's happy to take the food out of her grandkids mouth to feed her stupid dog! (EX) Husband is a pos also if he's willing to berate you and use the kids lack of food to do it (it was out of your control). Personally i'd phone mother again and tell her you need the money transfered asap and that if she's happy that shes taken food from her grandkids she's a disgrace, if she has a meltdown tell her she's not the help you need and go low contact, you have enough on your plate atm with out dealing with batshit crazy people, she knew what she was doing as she did it while you were away and hoped you wouldnt say anything to her. As a single mother you're going to have to stand up for yourself and your kids as no one else going to or you'll end up drowning.

Your mother sounds like a very difficult person OP, so sorry you are having to deal with this on top of everything else. People like her can't be reasoned with, of course a normal person would send you the money asap. Or not choose to misunderstand that the meat was for her dog. Sending sympathy and joining you in frustration.

She should refund the money straightaway.
Taking food from the fridge in someone else's house is theft.

That response was one of the first replies though! Before the OP's update. I think???