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Original poster

Dm took all the food for my kids!

637 replies

Littlechesnuttree · 17/06/2024 17:17

Newly single mum here hi!

dm visited this weekend to ‘help’ largely consisted of me running errands for her and bringing cups of tea.

here’s the thing, she brought her dog who she only feeds meat (she won’t listen) so steak, chicken, mince etc.

i went to the butcher on the weekend and bought our meat for the month, steaks, whole chickens, lamb leg, chicken breast, meat and even duck breast.

all in all £80 or more likely. Had them in fridge before I could sort and put in freezer.

i had a kids bday party so was getting kids ready whilst dm was packing up.

go to the fridge this morning and it’s all gone… all the meat.

she thought I bought it for her dog. So now not only got to do a freezer tea for the kids but ive got to rebuy it all.

dm didn’t offer to replace and lives too far away to return.

aibu to think this is barmy behaviour? You check before you clean out someone’s fridge

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 17/06/2024 18:28

Look, stop with this " genuine mistake " nonsense op, she would transfere the balance over now if it were genuine and it wasn't a mistake, your mother has stolen food from you and her grandchildren.

It's a simple and horrible as that, I am sorry.

HerRoyalNotness · 17/06/2024 18:27

Littlechesnuttree · 17/06/2024 18:21

I wont get the money back, it’s boiled down to now that’s what my petrol was to get up and back plus an hourly rate to watch your children after school Friday afternoon

Wow! Some kind of grandma that.

BiancaBlue · 17/06/2024 18:26

Littlechesnuttree · 17/06/2024 18:21

I wont get the money back, it’s boiled down to now that’s what my petrol was to get up and back plus an hourly rate to watch your children after school Friday afternoon

It doesn't cost £80 to drive 4 hours. And she's their grandparent ffs if you wanted paid for care you'd have got it! What about the money she's saving on dog food?

I would be so persistent if this was my mum (she wouldn't do this though).

Procrastinates · 17/06/2024 18:25

Littlechesnuttree · 17/06/2024 18:22

^ but it was a genuine mistake apparently she thought I was saying thank you for coming up

She's talking complete bullshit and if you honestly believe that you're a doormat.

HFJ · 17/06/2024 18:24

Littlechesnuttree · 17/06/2024 18:22

^ but it was a genuine mistake apparently she thought I was saying thank you for coming up

So, she transferred some money to your account?

Original poster
Littlechesnuttree · 17/06/2024 18:22

^ but it was a genuine mistake apparently she thought I was saying thank you for coming up

OP posts:
TwattyMcFuckFace · 17/06/2024 18:22

Nah, who buys a leg of lamb for a dog anyway?

Original poster
Littlechesnuttree · 17/06/2024 18:21

I wont get the money back, it’s boiled down to now that’s what my petrol was to get up and back plus an hourly rate to watch your children after school Friday afternoon

OP posts:
Original poster
Littlechesnuttree · 17/06/2024 18:20

Fleurdalys · 17/06/2024 18:18

Just go and get it back if she won't reimburse you?

I cant, it’s a 2 hr drive each way. I work 9/5 full time.

OP posts:
Dweetfidilove · 17/06/2024 18:18

Good grief, she’s manipulative to boot 🤦🏾‍♀️.
I won’t tell you to rescind her invite, as you probably look forward to the company, if not the help.

Make sure there’s nothing for her to steal though, and make it clear you will not be buying dog meat for her.

How can anyone be this selfish ☹️

Fleurdalys · 17/06/2024 18:18

Just go and get it back if she won't reimburse you?

LouOver · 17/06/2024 18:18

It takes a minute to bank transfer, she's betting on wearing you down and honestly sounds like she has.

A mumsnetter will draft a strong text for you.

You have no food for your children. Do not let this go!

jannier · 17/06/2024 18:18

Littlechesnuttree · 17/06/2024 17:33

I’ve said that’s the kids dinners for the month gone and tonight and she said I’d have to get more and she was sorry, I said I can’t afford it and she said she’ll take me to the butchers next time She visits next month

its the money and the time too,

So did you ask how your supposed to feed them between now and then? Does she not pay you for the meat you did buy the dog?

AmIever · 17/06/2024 18:15

Sounds absolutely selfish and borderline crazy!

Ragwort · 17/06/2024 18:11

Did she even pay you for the dog's steaks who buys steak for dogs? Shock

Irridescantshimmmer · 17/06/2024 18:08

Tell her to pay back the £80, she may want you to see this as a misunderstanding buts it's theft.

jackstini · 17/06/2024 18:06

She is awful! Appreciate you did not want to be trying to sort this at work

Glad you at least have something to feed them tonight

Does your butcher deliver? Wondering if you can send her the exact same order so she can see the price.

Either way I would be saying 'the cost of the meat you took was X and I need to replace it in the next 24 hours so dc can eat, please transfer the money, here are my account details'

ManilowBarry · 17/06/2024 18:04

I'd phone her and say this.

You have two choices -

  1. You transfer the money to me this evening.
  1. We will be going no contact with you and your dog. No mother is better than a mother who steals from her grandchildren.
Overthinking22 · 17/06/2024 18:03

There must be more to this. Is she struggling for money but too ashamed to ask. Dementia? This is not normal behaviour.

TemuSpecialBuy · 17/06/2024 18:02

Littlechesnuttree · 17/06/2024 17:33

I’ve said that’s the kids dinners for the month gone and tonight and she said I’d have to get more and she was sorry, I said I can’t afford it and she said she’ll take me to the butchers next time She visits next month

its the money and the time too,

Reply and say
“that Doesn’t work for me.
here are my bank details
xxxxx
please can you transfer £85 so I can rebuy this week? Thanks”

the £5 is to cover your time re buying food she took

Heucherarowan · 17/06/2024 18:01

As if a grown adult took food from her daughter and Grandchildren to feed A DOG and is now using hysterics as a distraction to not replace it.

Why would a newly single Mother spend that much on a dog that isn't theirs. She's absolutely taking the mick.

If it was a genuine mistake, she'd have offered to send the money asap. Not attempt to guilt you about asking for the money!

I bet this isn't the first thing like this that's ever happened?

uncomfortablydumb53 · 17/06/2024 18:00

Your Mother is a manipulative bitch!!
Putting her dogs food above her Grandchildren!
Is she normally this selfish and heartless?
I would tell her you send you an online shop to replace the meat as your children can't wait for a month
If she's not proficient with online shopping, tell her again you need the money now
Don't let her get away with this and don't have her to stay again

AdoraBell · 17/06/2024 18:00

Completely unreasonable of her OP she needs to send you the money to cover the cost of the meat, and in future if she visits she needs to bring the food for her dog.

midgetastic · 17/06/2024 17:59

Can you drive over to her house ?

HisNibs · 17/06/2024 17:58

For me there would be no future visits, no errands or anything until that money was back in my bank account. As you say OP it is outright theft.