Dm took all the food for my kids!

Another one added to your fan club OP - you are doing brilliantly against an absolute tsunami of shit that has come your way. You truly do not deserve your cow of a mother or arsehole ex. Lots of good advice above, really do get legal advice asap (although you’re so busy and stressed atm it’s really hard, but try to prioritise this when you can).

When you’re going through hell keep going! I’m sorry for all the crap you’re going through 💐x

how you doing op?

Just wanted to say from one FT single mum to another - you're going to be ok. Yes your Mum has behaved in an incredibly selfish and bizarre way but as you say, no easy way to get the money or food back right now so save your mental energy for everything else. Buy the meat you need as and when - maybe get cheaper cuts for this month or buy from one of the supermarkets to save costs this month. And buy yourself a treat to remind yourself you've got this!

DM = Dear Mother, @Sarahljd.

Common MN acronyms include:

Dh - dear husband.
Dp - dear partner.
Dw - dear wife
Dd - dear daughter.
Ds - dear son.
Df - dear father.
Dmil - dear mother in law.
Dfil - dear father in law.
Dsis - dear sister
Dbro - dear brother.

sorry, what is DM?

Of course they can! Duck breast, rabbit ears, pigs ears, bull boy bits, it’s all fair game for them. It’s onions and stuff like that to avoid

@Tomanyflaws Imwojld read all of @Littlechesnuttree posts..

Also tell her she pays you back the money today or she's not welcome in your home ever I'm angry on your behalf she's a cheeky thieving sod

Tell her stealing is a criminal offence and that your sending the police around to her home silly i knoz but just an idea..

I would ring right now and tell her she left your children without food for the week and that you will be around very soon for the money to replace the meat so your children can eat and don't have her over again

Whatever you and he have in your pension fund is a marital asset. Those totals along with any other savings, investments, equity in any property, land, business, cars and furniture gets all added together and then it is up to a judge to decide on the percentage split
Eg 50/50, 60/40, 70/30 etc

He might decide to keep his pension so you can have the house (equity) etc

This.
Do not trust him at all. Please.

Please do get legal advice - the bastard is absolutely capable of shafting you. You need to protect yourself and your children. Contact a good family solicitor tomorrow - make it a priority. It's really important that you do x

This is why you need to see a solicitor.

If his pension is higher, it is a good bargaining chip for the house.

Plus the parent with the child always ends up worse off, you may be able to claim some of his pension which will help you when you are at retirement age.

@Littlechesnuttree

OP, something it's worth taking into account is how difficult things could become in the long run if you don't clarify everything now.

I haven't seen you mention any other women, but, when one does appear, he might start talking about changing when he sees the children, paying less money etc; that will be such a pain if that starts.

Much better to get everything established now so that he knows how things are going to be.

To be honest, there's likely to be a point when he is taking legal advice himself, so don't leave yourself in a vulnerable position.

I think either way OP, worth getting legal advice. problem is that if he decides he doesn't want to pay, there is nothing much you can do in this situation.

also you could pay the mortgage for the next however many years and once you pay it off - having paid the majority of the house value via both mortgage and deposit - he can file for divorce and get 50/50! avoid future problems and get things in black and white.

he is a selfish ass, he will think nothing of putting you and the children on the street.

So he's said he’ll continue to split the kid's childcare and give you £500 a month and you can keep the house. Men always say they'll be generous immediately after the split. It never lasts. I don't think he will just walk away from his share of the house. If he were my client I'd strongly advise him against it. Is there a mortgage and who is paying it right now? Do you either of you have superannuation worth going after?

Definitely saying she is unwell to move the conversation on.
Continue to ignore her.
Awful shameful woman.
Be sure to tell family/friends if they ask.
Taking food from the mouths of her grandchildren for her dog.
Utterly shameful.

She said she’d buy the next load of meat from the butcher when she’s up next 3/4 weeks time.

Please tell us you’re not letting her visit again, Op?

Your mum is messaging saying she's unwell because she knows you're pissed off and is trying to do what she can to make it all 'forgotten' rather than make things right by sending money and apology. She may well escalate when you continue to ignore her.

Your ex is a twat.

Message her with details of how to pay you back what she owes. Unless her dog is bigger than a horse, she's taken most of the meat home. Even if, arguably, you she was justified in thinking that should provide dog food while she is staying to help you, there's no way you need to buy extra to send back with her - that's insane.

she text since, about being unwell but I’ve not replied so in essence that (above) was our last conversation.

if she shared all that meat with the dog like you say, she’s probably got food poisoning, sticking whole chickens in the car for two hours on a warm day is asking for trouble.

oh well…

Think you're being too easy on your mum. My kids would come before my mum anyway and she would be banned for a year stepping foot in my house and I'd have made it crystall clear that you won't be feeding her dog in future. Using an excuse that she was helping out is just weird my mum wouldn't dare utter these words to me our about her grandkids.