Dm took all the food for my kids!

Surely this is the point of your relationship to throw down the gauntlet on this bullshit?

Politely inform her that you will not tolerate someone under your roof who would steal food out of the mouths of your children, and you won't be needing her to come to your home or see your children again, ever. She can consider the meat her severance pay since she seems to think she deserves paying for spending time with her family.

Because don't kid yourself that this was some "oh silly me" dizzy mistake, she's actively and knowingly stolen food from her child and grandchildren. If it was a genuine mistake she'd have set herself on fire to fix it. She's a piece of shit, treat her like one.

I’m so sorry OP.

Your mother sounds like quite the narcissist. I want to go no contact on your behalf, she’s awful!

I’m guessing your ex probably treated you like shit as well.

Please take care of yourself and your kids. Hugs.

@Littlechesnuttree you did not deserve your mum wiping your fresh meat out or some of these responses...! WTF.

I feed my dogs meat but I wouldnt selfishly take food from my now single parent daughters fridge and think it was for my dog!

If your mum hadnt said consider it her petrol and babysitting money (how utterly proposterous!) I'd have suggested making an order online and asking her to pay for it. But as she has said that, only you know how best to tread so this doesnt end badly. Good luck.

Sh1t happens, sometimes you just have to roll with it. X

'Thanks for clarifying mum, I understand. In that case, unfortunately I can't afford for you to visit again if your fee means I can't afford to feed the kids that month. I'm sure you understand too'.
I know she's your mum, but she sounds like an abusive bitch. One relationship just ended, perhaps it's also time to look at if this one is working for you.

If you work 9-5 then why can’t you go to the shops after 5? They are open all night. What’s wrong with taking your kids after 5.

OP

I don't know why you're getting piled on here and you have very clearly asked for the money for the meat.

I have a mum a bit like yours - creates massive drama rather than admit to doing something wrong.

What a tough situation you're in. Arsehole of a husband has just left, you're new to a job so don't get any leeway there, then your mum comes and "helps" for the weekend and cops off with a load of food.

You are doing really well! This too shall pass. Things will improve over time and I'm sure you'll be better off single in the long run.

You could actually do this.

Load the children into the car.

Bang on her door.

Demand your property back.

Make a nice loud scene.

Quite honestly though, my mother would never darken my door again if she ever pulled a stunt like the one your mother has done.

Yeah, tell her to do one.

You are dealing with a monstrously selfish person here.

Tell her she won't be visiting next month if she doesn't send you the money to replace the meat she stole from her grandchildren.

Stick to your guns. Do not let this woman set foot in your home again until she pays you for the meat.

Tell her you won't be answering her calls either, until that money is back in your account.

So at the point of ‘drama drama drama’ you say -

‘Thief. Replace the meat or next time I see you I’ll cook your dog instead. Yes I’ve lost it. Yes there are more important things than your fucking dog. Replace my food and if you won’t, I’ll assume you took it deliberately. Oh and the venison was the special small bone DogChoke2000 version and if you’re going to ‘charge’ me £100+ of food for a couple of hours babysitting, next time you ask to see your grandkids I’ll just say I can get a visit cheaper from a local teenager’

Her partner, possibly abusive partner has just abandoned her and the dc. This isn’t helping so they can go to a party. This isn’t a mutual support moment where the op should generously provide for the dog and make it up to her mum, and if the ops mum thinks it is then she should say so not take the meat for her grandchildren’s meals for the whole fucking month.

All else said, £80+ of raw meat is a weird gift unless it's discussed and agreed on for some reason.

I reject any arguments that this could have been an hinest mistake. It's insane.

The woman stole a family's shopping. Deliberately and probably for the drama and attention.

Really well her mother is alone and has 3k a month and no mortgage. She on the other hand has 2 children to feed childcare to pay and mortgage on top! So I think she can afford abit of meat for her extremely well fed dog!! And to pay her own petrol wouldn't you say?

OP, I’m livid on your behalf over this. Your DM’s behaviour isn’t rational. I’m sorry she acts like that.

I know you said it’s 2 hours away but I would 110% bung the kids in the car and drive to pick it up. Then not invite her back next month (especially if she’s not particularly helpful and expects you to be grateful). If you’re £80 down anyways, might as well get your meat back and not give her the satisfaction of feeding it to her dog. Appreciate it’s not always that simple but I’m petty like that. No way could I let her keep it after what she’s said!

Oh dear she sounds pretty useless. I would think twice about asking her up again if she thinks you should be paying her petrol money and childminding pay in meat for her dog. Sorry you have a useless DH as well as a thoughtless mother. Certainly don't go shopping if she comes again. Let her go out and replace it.

@User284732

How on earth would anyone assume a family's fridge full of food was a 'thank you' gift? What thought process would lead to that conclusion? Would it not occur to you that the family in question also eats? Where do you expect them to keep their food? Would you take it without checking? You'd have no doubt it was for you?

Bonkers.

A bottle of wine left in the hallway, maybe. But a fridge load of meat? Give over.

I can’t be the first to say that I feel like feeding your mum to her dog.. you don’t seem at all surprised by what she did, I take it there is a lot of back story. Do you have to see her every3 weeks? It seems unhelpful to you, to say the least

I've voted that your mum was being unreasonable. But tbh, getting the bare minimum of what she asked from the butchers when she's driving 4 hours round trip and stating several days to attempt to help, then I can see that she may have assumed it was a thank you present. We always offer to pay my parents petrol when they come to stay to help with the kids and give them gifts. Ringing immediately to complain does sound quite ungrateful, and I assume you aren't really going to struggle to afford to replace, given your income and choosing steaks and duck for kids meals. I'm not surprised your mother is offended.

Poor dog
Poor kids
Poor you
Woman's a witch

Your mother is a cunt OP. A manipulative and stealing one. So sorry. Only a cunt takes the food off children’s mouth then doesn’t give a shit that kids have to go without.

So sorry OP that your H and mother let you down. I wouldn’t have your mother over again,heck knows what else she would take off you.

Talk about kicking somebody when they’re already down.

Hope your probation will go well, wishing you best of luck 💐

Please get yourself over to Relationship board to Stately Homes.These people know exactly what/who are you dealing with.

If it's going to cost you a month's worth of meat to "pay" your mother to visit her grandchildren I think I'd be telling her not to bother coming again.

Tell her you can't afford her visits anymore.

OP I'd be livid in your shoes but of course that doesn't help. You have my heartfelt admiration for holding it together.

A real case of when it rains it pours. Fist your husband doing that, then your mother, and now MN showing its worse side too.

Here's hoping you get through the week happily on beans on toast or whatever, and that your mum doesn't try to 'help' you too much.

Strange... my mum would never ever ask me to buy expensive steaks for her dog and never take anything from my fridge- knowing that I'm a single parent. She would actually bring me food to fill my fridge, even though I'm not financially struggling.. is your mum a narcissist?

If it were a normal interaction with a normal human

All the people saying "just ask for the money!" need to understand the above sentence.

And if they can't, then be grateful.

I get it OP. You're mother's awful.