To think droves of teachers will make the decision by husband made today- to leave

@BooBooDoodle I'm concerned to hear that someone working in a PRU feels their pupils and Families are "pampered"

My experience of working with children and families in the system suggests the opposite. Many people are facing childhood trauma, addiction etc with v little support and parenting as best they can (and, sadly, often failing to meet their children's needs despite their best efforts)

You're totally right. The system is a mess. It needs updating and asking why so many kids can't cope with it. Because they really can't. It's a joke but it's not the fault of teachers or often the schools. The Government know this so it's the usual response to penalise everyone for their failing.

These kids and families are heavily pampered to the point where it leaves them even more irresponsible than they already are. Everything is thrown at them to the point they expect it.

That was my suspicion so it’s interesting to see you confirm it. I bet they also moan about ‘lack of support’

One in 5 pupils not going to school since covid. The school answer to this is to threaten parents with prison. The system is outdated, not fit for purpose. Blame parents if you like, but there really is zero support for a school refuser. Parents do bloody care, it's a system that is outdated and everyone is loosing. The work place has changed, nobody needs to be 9 to 5, fast forward 10 years, I doubt school will be the same. Here's hoping.

Many people are strong enough to learn how to cope. And some, like your husband, ate not cut out for the job

Nobody, but nobody should suffer regular physical and verbal abuse, threats etc in the course of their daily work. It's not a case of being strong enough to cope - it simply shouldn't be happening - EVER.

The OP's husband is not at fault here. The teachers I had at school wouldn't cope with the shit teachers have to deal with nowadays - it's not a case of "not being cut out for the job" either

There have been teachers recruited from overseas who have left within a term because, in their countries, education is valued and teachers are respected. They can't believe that pupils would disrespect their teachers.

I’m afraid parenting has changed so much this last decade and the biggest cause of the problem is tech. Parents are constantly on it not giving their children the attention they need, not putting in the hard work to guide them and teach them the correct ways to behave , it’s easier to give them the iPad to shut them up and then don’t follow through with consequences because they kick off ! Then you have the children who have the iPads and phones from as young as 6 months! We’re facing a generation of children addicted to tech I have seen children come into my setting screaming and yelling because they’ve had the iPads taken from them whilst they’ve been playing on them in the car and I’ve seen parents giving them the iPads as soon as they’re collected form the setting! What happened to talking and conversations!!

I do think there are a not insignificant number of parents who would be mortified if they could see how their children actually behave (vs what they tell their parents).

In one school I worked in (primary) a small group of boys launched a vicious unprovoked attack on another boy. They got given consequences and the mother of one came into school shouting her mouth off about how her son always got blamed, it wasn't his fault, the other boy started it. She was shown the cctv of the attack and it left her sobbing it was so awful.

A lot of parents don't seem to realise that children will lie through their teeth to get out of trouble. Or they think they can tell when their child is lying (they can't). Some children are extremely convincing when they lie.

Please remember innocent students are being punished by nothing happening when they are attacked daily, threatened with knife attacks, police involved and guess what no one cares. They say sanction them, it's a day detention. They let it all slide. I'm talking 4 years of nothing being done, the innocent stay off school getting bad attendance. They only care about attendance not dealing with issues. So these kids get away with it, then go onto life thinking " oh I don't like that person, so I can thump them " no thats not how we act. And yes school admits parents don't care, it's not on their doorstep so don't care. More needs to be done, but hands are tied..instead of ie or ir as they call it, exclude them then if needs be expelled them just like they did back in the day. Allowing them to continue bad behaviour will have nothing but problems later down the line. But no one seems to care. They certainly don't care about the students suffering mental health breakdowns due to bullying. It's a growing problem which we dealt with, we tried everything no one cared to listen. As easier to move along with lies. If schools just let it slide and police say " but can't ruin bullies life " then where do you go ? Because what about innocent ones life. Covid lockdown really messed up. As scheme which goes up and down uk said they seen so many, they immature, do what they like as know parents don't care. How about stop child benefit ? Stop uc ? Housing benefit ? They I assume they would care and put their foot down for once. I hope it changes as I fought not only for mine but all kids suffering the same, along with teachers.

I had my share of aggressive and violent behaviour during my 12 years in teaching, but sending disruptive, unpleasant, and nasty children out of the classroom to Referral was rather frowned on by the SLT. It meant extra work for them.

And if you did your damnedest to teach the exam syllabus, succeeded with 90% of the class, but had two or three refuseniks who just would not do any work, their failure was seen as your fault too! ("Why didn't you MAKE me do it, Miss?") The school wasn't too bothered by what was actually arrant cheating, either - important to keep the league tables in mind.

In my son's school there is a pupil with very significant needs and meltdowns that result in this. The pupil has a 1 to 1 everywhere they go and is taught separately. This works for them. Realistically, some kids need this. It's just impossible to resource so schools are forced to accept kids they know are going to be difficult because there are no resources to meet their needs.
I know from all I've learnt that so many kids just can't cope with the absolutely ridiculous system of modern schooling. They will explode if pushed too much - it's a fear reaction. Having had to teach absolute drivel and nonsensical shite during lockdown I really started questioning everything behind our school system snd what it's actual purpose is.

I totally accept some kids are just horrible shits. Extra needs or not, I couldn't deal with that.

Would he consider applying for a job in a private school?

I work in a PRU and this is every day behaviour. Our teachers know the drill and trained to restrain and have good pastoral and counselling skills. Even with this skill set and knowing what they will walk into daily still affects them hugely, I don’t know how they do it. Unfortunately the pupils we have, have behaviour and mental health problems and most come from families that don’t engage and let them run riot. It’s a huge problem with more and more children getting excluded from mainstream schools. Teachers are powerless and it’s heartbreaking to see so many leave the profession they once loved. These kids and families are heavily pampered to the point where it leaves them even more irresponsible than they already are. Everything is thrown at them to the point they expect it.

@FindingNeverland28 this is exactly what my teacher friend says. The workload, a very unreasonable HTeacher, not the best pay considering the workload involved.

One child I recall she taught had so many needs that the entire class had to leave when they had a meltdown. There is nowhere for these kids to go, there are no resources to give them the support needed. Many of whom are incredibly intelligent.

@BrownTroutBluesAgain I'd never trust all the adults to be reasonable people in these institutions.

Seeing the situation would surely spark some parents into positive activity?

What kind of positive activity? Magically improve their parenting? I seriously doubt it. Some would blame the teachers for the poor behaviour. Ones who saw their own kids misbehaving would probably say 'Well all the other kids are behaving badly, so they're a bad influence'.

I teach primary and constantly think about quitting, but it isn’t because of behaviour. The ever increasing workload out of hours with no extra pay or thanks. The teacher bashing we all get by the media and the general public, when they haven’t got a clue what we do. I’m currently pregnant with my first child and have been signed off sick with stress. I really don’t know how long it will be after I return from maternity where I will turn my constant thinking about doing it to actually doing it.

I don't think its the case that OP's husband " can't cope"

Why should he " cope".

he is not at fault here.

I literally could have written this today! I am done with the entitlement and consequential behaviour that exists these days.
I have even tried a different school but it's even worse. Behaviour is the same but parental support is 'what have you done to support my child'
I'm like ' what can I do when your child decides to walk out of the room because they don't want to do their work??' All I asked them to do was open their book 🤷🏻‍♀️
It's at every level too.

Tell him to get out of teaching. It's a toxic environment. I taught from 1982 to 2014 and would not do it again if I had my life over again. Put it down to experience and move on. It's just not worth the stress. Private schools are just as bad, the discipline tends to be better but there are other pressures. Get out and stay out!

That,

plus you mention the huge mortgage. Any chance you sell/move from your perspective op?

Seeing the situation would surely spark some parents into positive activity?

@AllProperTeaIsTheft what would you want SLT to do?

I sit on a number of exclusion/suspension panels. I then sit on number of complaint panels where parents are challenging the suspension!

I left after a few years, many of my peers did the same. I have the upmost respect for anyone that can stay in the profession.

The behaviour you describe would not have been tolerated in any of the schools I've worked in. IME the key is to find a school with a supportive LT who understand that "staff wellbeing" isn't about flowers in the staffroom or cakes on a Friday, it's about workload and behaviour.

Thinking about Teachers I know who have left the profession recently, their chief complaint has been the increasingly demanding and entitled behaviour of parents, not children. Unfortunately, some school LT's pander to unreasonable parents for fear of complaints and don't recognise the impact on staff Mental Health.

So much pressure on teachers now, even more since the introduction of the dreadful academies and the amount of data needing to be approved. Teachers have become computer jockeys, rather than spending time in the classroom. Trying to fulfil the wishes of egotistical Heads/executives, that employ more unqualified teachers than ever.
No wonder our education system is now one of the worst in the western world.