To want to switch to every other weekend?

It’s fairly common though - one night a week and every other weekend. It’s a pretty usual arrangement. It also means both parents can have a full weekend to go away with (or without) the child.

What does DD want?
My DD prefers not to sleepover and likes one day at each parent so I have Saturdays and he has Sundays.

If we are going on holiday and she misses his time then I try to make it up to him which is only fair.

If he works a normal 9-5 suggest alternating the Saturday and Sundays or if there is a specific event you want to take her to ask to switch

As a parent it's actually nice to have that break once you get used to it, it allows you to pursue hobby's and meet up with friends etc that you don't get chance to normally

You're not unreasonable to ask him, and he's not being unreasonable to say no.

You were happy with this arrangement whilst it benefited you, it doesn't any longer and you want your change the arrangement so it benefits you again. What happens a few months / years down the line when you go back to working shifts or weekends and you need to change it again - it's not really fair on anyone except you.

Think you're just going to have to suck it up and make plans around the current set up. Maybe get a good babysitter for Saturday nights when needed, and offer to swap days when you want to take your dc away on a weekend?

@Wontletmeusemynormalname that’s how I read it too. Same amount of time just spaced out more.

We had a similar schedule a few years ago as my H worked on Saturdays, so his ex would have the kids Thurs night - Saturday night, and then they would be back to ours every Saturday night - Thurs morning. It was a complete pain to be honest like you said as it means no-one gets a social Saturday night as our change over time was 8pm, and also no-one gets a full weekend. We changed to week on/week off and it's so much better. The kids preferred it too as less ferrying around between houses.

The kids were a bit older though when we changed (14 and 16)

Ah, I see what you mean.

I’d be devastated to not see my child for a whole week at a time (Tues-Tues on the week he doesn’t have her at the weekend). I’m not surprised he’s not happy with this suggestion.

But he wouldn't? He'd be having her the same amount of time if he has her Fri pm till Sun pm.

He would see her less frequently though.
It might suit you better but have you asked your DD what she thinks?

He wouldn’t be reducing it would he?
Still every Tuesday, the instead of Friday night every week, it would be Friday and Saturday night every two weeks. So 4 nights and 2 full days every two weeks - the same as now, but spread out differently. Unless it’s me that’s read it wrong.

Neither of you are being unreasonable. Keep talking and try to find a compromise you're both happy with.

Not sure I’ve read this right…

You want him to agree to seeing his daughter less than he currently does?

If so, yes, you’re being unbelievably unreasonable.

You're not unreasonable to want weekends with her, and he's not unreasonable to not want to go so long between contact. You're suggesting instead of seeing her every few days (Tue-Fri, Fri-Tue) to go Tue-Tue. Do you want to go a week without seeing your child?

However there's scope for something that makes the time together easier to navigate.
Would be refuse to have her for the Saturday night and bring her back on the Sunday as an occasional thing?
Could you do Fri-Sat morning every other weekend?

I am not sure either of you is being unreasonable, as you are both asking for the same thing - time with your daughter (you want more and he doesn’t want to reduce his)

he would be getting less than he currently is - is there any other time he could have her to make up for losing every other weekend?

it may take a while to come to a compromise - how old is your daughter is is something she could have a say in (without feeling pressure of upsetting either parent)