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Original poster

Is this cheeky?

29 replies

MotherOfOlafs · 17/06/2024 12:14

Family member asked DH what he’d like for Xmas, DH said a bottle of whiskey that cost around £40, but if it was too much money then that’s fine. Family member bought the bottle but did not stop telling everyone on xmas day that they couldn’t believe the cost, and comments like ‘oh are you drinking wine with lunch? I would’ve thought you’d be starting in on the whiskey that COST ME £40!!’ etc.

Next month is family members birthday (not a big one). They have asked for a particular perfume from YSL that I cannot find for less than around £60. I want to buy a dupe but DH says we should just get it. Am I being petty?

OP posts:
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nippyout · 17/06/2024 16:32

She sounds irritating with her comments at Christmas re. the whiskey.

She fairly well off, usually spends around £60 pp and her only child asked for something that cost £40 and she made all these comments. Odd woman.

Anyway, I would just buy her the £60 perfume she requested. Sounds like she lacks self awareness and perhaps doesn't realise how she came across at Christmas with her 'comments'. Next time your DH might want to consider asking her what exactly she means at the time - he asked for something costing £40 and he thought the budget was around £60, so what is she really saying?

WickedSerious · 17/06/2024 14:10

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 17/06/2024 12:31

Buy them the gift and then keep commenting on it the same way they did the whiskey 🤣

"You smell nice today.Are you wearing the perfume that cost me SIXTY QUID"???

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 17/06/2024 13:50

I'd get the perfume and then if the whiskey cost is mentioned again I'd question why cost is only worthy of a mention when it's her doing the buying.

Or, if it's more than I would usually spend on a gift, I'd get a voucher of more my budget for her to put towards it.

Could be worse though OP - you could have a MIL that pushes and pushes and pushes for gift ideas....only to completely ignore them and decide to get what she wants to get anyway 🙃

Hoppinggreen · 17/06/2024 13:50

MotherOfOlafs · 17/06/2024 13:21

So I’m going to spend £200+ on a perfume because my 14 year old asks for it? That’s totally batshit behaviour 🤣

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Or you say no, you cant have that expensive perfume.

Original poster
MotherOfOlafs · 17/06/2024 13:45

halesie · 17/06/2024 13:27

Did family member spend the whole £40 on their own or shared with someone else? Wonder if they're thinking there are two of you to buy for them so £30 each...?
Or might they have been happy to pay £40 for a gift but had no idea that a bottle of whiskey could cost that much?
Not trying to find excuses, just intrigued - have had some interesting gift choices and objections to gift suggestions before here too (e.g. an older family member said they would never usually buy alcohol as a gift when DH suggested they get me a bottle of something one Xmas).

To be honest it was MIL (didn’t really want to say as I’ll be accused of MIL-bashing 🙄) and DH is her only son, she bought me a paperback book and a bookmark, fine by me I love to read!
It’s not the cost of the perfume it’s the irony more than anything. We’ve bought her expensive items for her garden before as it’s her pride and joy, things she’s specifically asked for.
Maybe it sounds like DH was the cheeky one first but I’d estimate she spends about £60 on everyone’s gifts in total at Xmas and she is FAR from skint!

OP posts:
Roundroundthegarden · 17/06/2024 13:34

No I would not be spending more than 40 pounds given how they went on and made your dh look like a greedy person. I would go with the voucher.

Coldsore · 17/06/2024 13:30

MotherOfOlafs · 17/06/2024 13:21

So I’m going to spend £200+ on a perfume because my 14 year old asks for it? That’s totally batshit behaviour 🤣

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Can you not see the difference between that and this?

halesie · 17/06/2024 13:27

Did family member spend the whole £40 on their own or shared with someone else? Wonder if they're thinking there are two of you to buy for them so £30 each...?
Or might they have been happy to pay £40 for a gift but had no idea that a bottle of whiskey could cost that much?
Not trying to find excuses, just intrigued - have had some interesting gift choices and objections to gift suggestions before here too (e.g. an older family member said they would never usually buy alcohol as a gift when DH suggested they get me a bottle of something one Xmas).

BillStickersWillBeProsocuted · 17/06/2024 13:27

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 17/06/2024 12:31

Buy them the gift and then keep commenting on it the same way they did the whiskey 🤣

Excpet this is 50% more, so if they menitoned the Whiskey 10 times OP needs to mention the perfume 15!

Original poster
MotherOfOlafs · 17/06/2024 13:21

Coldsore · 17/06/2024 12:35

Because if someone asks for a specific perfume for a gift, they want a specific perfume, not a “similar” perfume.

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So I’m going to spend £200+ on a perfume because my 14 year old asks for it? That’s totally batshit behaviour 🤣

OP posts:
Beautifulbythebay · 17/06/2024 13:19

Gift card for 40 quid.. Make 2025 the year you give cards only..

SirenDiMare · 17/06/2024 13:13

Honestly, I would just return the alcohol to the person and tell them that we don't need to exchange gifts anymore.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 17/06/2024 13:02

I'd be annoyed if I asked for a specific brand and someone brought something which "smells pretty much the same"
Buying it for yourself is different

Hoppinggreen · 17/06/2024 13:02

MotherOfOlafs · 17/06/2024 12:34

I do it for DD all the time. She’ll asked for a Tom Ford perfume and I’ll look up what smells pretty much the same, it’s often a nice brand still but 60/70% less of the price. Not sure what’s terrible about that? I do it with makeup for myself.

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I would not be happy with a dupe at all.
I hate cheap copies of things, if you can't afford it don't get it

Skyrainlight · 17/06/2024 12:59

Get the perfume and next time ask for cheaper presents or vouchers. No point creating drama over £20. Life it too short.

Luxell934 · 17/06/2024 12:37

This kind of gift giving feels very transactional. If you don’t want to spend more than £40 then just buy a gift voucher for boots and they can buy it themselves.

Likely they didn’t expect your husband to ask for a £40 bottle of whiskey and they didn’t want to not get him what he asked for. What price range have your gifts been for this person in the past?

Crabble · 17/06/2024 12:35

Before the whiskey how much have you tended to spend on each other? If someone asked me what I wanted I wouldn’t say something costing as much as £40 but it does depend what’s gone on before. I wonder if she’s being a bit pointed asking for a £60 present but either way do not buy a dupe. That’s a terrible present. Either buy the real thing or get her something else entirely.

Coldsore · 17/06/2024 12:35

MotherOfOlafs · 17/06/2024 12:34

I do it for DD all the time. She’ll asked for a Tom Ford perfume and I’ll look up what smells pretty much the same, it’s often a nice brand still but 60/70% less of the price. Not sure what’s terrible about that? I do it with makeup for myself.

Show quote history

Because if someone asks for a specific perfume for a gift, they want a specific perfume, not a “similar” perfume.

Original poster
MotherOfOlafs · 17/06/2024 12:35

Harvestfestivalknickers · 17/06/2024 12:32

Voucher for £40 quid so they can buy perfume.

That’s a good shout

OP posts:
Original poster
MotherOfOlafs · 17/06/2024 12:34

Coldsore · 17/06/2024 12:30

Is buying a dupe of a perfume a thing?! I’ve never heard of that/sounds like a terrible idea for a gift.

I would buy it but then I would repeatedly go on about their 60£ gift because I’m petty.

I do it for DD all the time. She’ll asked for a Tom Ford perfume and I’ll look up what smells pretty much the same, it’s often a nice brand still but 60/70% less of the price. Not sure what’s terrible about that? I do it with makeup for myself.

OP posts:
Harvestfestivalknickers · 17/06/2024 12:32

Voucher for £40 quid so they can buy perfume.

IncompleteSenten · 17/06/2024 12:32

At least now you will have ammo.

Whenever they mention the whisky (if they ever do) you get to say "and the perfume we bought you for your birthday cost £60. What's your point?"

user09876543 · 17/06/2024 12:32

Which perfume is it? I bet MNers can find it for less

SallyWD · 17/06/2024 12:32

If its his sister or something she was probably just teasing about the price of the whiskey. Me and my brothers wind each other up all the time (in a friendly way!). If he's happy to get the perfume and you can afford it then get it. If not, tell her.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 17/06/2024 12:31

Buy them the gift and then keep commenting on it the same way they did the whiskey 🤣