Rejecting dp’s gift due to irrational phobia

I’ve seen a few hot air balloon tragedies so it would be a pass for me. Definitely not a gift

By definition a phobia is an irrational fear, so any lack of risk is irrelevant really.

I voted YANBU - however is the phobia something you might consider tackling eg through hypnosis?

I've been on one loads, they are fine!

Nope on a rope.

I don't think I've ever heard of someone burned alive in a hot air balloon! You've probably got more chance of a car or house fire to be honest. I wouldn't do a balloon flight because I don't like heights! If you don't want to do it, don't do it. Your DH can take someone else and you can decide on something nice to do together instead 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn’t go. Not fun or a good gift for you.

Enduring Love (I think it is) by Ian McEwan has a horrible hot air balloon scene!

I wouldn't associate HAB with being burned alive either. How are you next to bonfires or with candles? If you have a fear of fire generally then your DH should have clicked but otherwise I can see he's just tried to do something nice as a surprise.

I'm hugely worried about vertigo and crashing from a huge height so I'm not a fan of HAB either.

I couldn't do it. I'd be terrified of being so high!

ummm PHOBIA

You are not near the burner, it's well above you. No chance of being burned.

I shall not name my greatest fear. I'd go up in a hot air balloon, though. You are more likely to die from it falling out of the sky than blowing up, you know. And that's rare. But if you don't want to go find someone who does - clue, I'd love to!

Yes @godmum56, it's so weird. How will she love it if she is terrified of the burner and she is suspended next to it 200 ft up in the air? Maybe people could imagine doing this balloon ride while holding a tarantula or a snake. How peaceful and relaxing!

I wonder if people don't get what a "phobia" is? "I did it and loved it" is irrelevant.

I second this - it’s the gentlest, gentlest feeling and very peaceful! And you’ll be amazed at how much you see and hear!

It’s an unusual gift to buy someone without them expressing that it’s a bucket list thing for them. I wonder if your hubby is projecting his dream and thinking by getting it for you he doesn’t have to justify buying it for himself - after all he’s probably realised it isn’t something you would buy for you two to do together!’

I went up in a hot air balloon and I was so nervous my legs were shaking. I loved it. One thing that surprised me was you don't feel the wind because the balloon is moving with it. Anyway, maybe you can research hot air balloon accidents. I believe they are very low in number compared to the number of rides.

Hot air balloon ride was crap - they rescheduled it 3 times due to the slightest breeze. Finally after a couple of years, weather was deemed optimal. It meant we went up and barely moved across the landscape, total yawn. Plus, every few seconds or so conversation was interrupted by a deafening blast from the burners. You wouldn't be missing much.

Honestly, I had never considered burning alive in a hot air balloon to be a thing.

my issue with hot air balloons is you are just floating (largely aimlessly) through the air, what if you just kept floating forever, or you land in the middle of the ocean. I realise these issues are possibly quite ridiculous but it’s a concern of mine 😂

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do Korner but you are not going to burn alive in a hot air balloon. Has that ever even happened?

It has happened many times as a quick Google will show.

I have the exact same fear as you OP, to the extent that I have to leave the room if it happens in a TV show.

Hot air balloons don't trigger it for me, but several other equally irrational things do. Stand your ground, let your DH go by himself. Last thing anyone wants is a panicked person in a small basket several hundred feet up.

Your OP made me laugh so I read it out to my DH, who suggested your DP could've done worse & booked you a hot air balloon ride over an active volcano.

I apologise for him.

I’m with the others who suspect this was what he wants to do so he’s “given” his treat (designed for himself) to you as a gift and now has to coerce you into it! It’s very unreasonable of him to expect you to do this if he knows you have agoraphobia relating to fire (I’m assuming it’s the trapped element not a naked flame in itself). It really isn’t the kind of gift to give anyone unless it’s clearly an expressed wish. And once you’ve pointed out the problem he should accept it.

CBT is very affective for phobias @Korner . It might be worth looking into it, not so you can join the fire service and go on balloon flights every day but so that you can manage it to the point it doesn’t prevent you doing something you might have otherwise really like to have done. But trying to force someone’s hand has never been very success in helping people with phobias, which is why people don’t generally get put through Flooding therapy anymore (intense, constant high exposure to feared stimulus).

Personally I don’t like the idea of a bit of wicker work between me and the distant ground so I wouldn’t want to do a balloon trip either (though I’m told it’s amazing).

of course YANBU. Its a shame but phobias are phobias.

YANBU to have your phobia or be apprehensive about hot air balloons in general but I do think YABU to have that concern specifically about the hot air balloon! Fire would never have occurred to me as a risk and I’ve been on one, so I don’t think he did this maliciously - it is just not one of the risks anyone without this phobia would conceive of. I think you’re probably less at risk from fire than driving your car.

Are you sure the gift isn’t actually for him? Some men do that - book a surprise for their partner, which is something they themselves want. They then convince themselves they’re ‘buying it for DW/DP’ but it’s simply not true.