To be a bit worried DS’s preschool report is teacher speak for pain in the arse?

Better than reading of your titchy summer born made of birdbones and attitude 'DD is very well able to hold her own with the older children in her class'.

It meant 'We spend half our time trying not to laugh at her bollocking the September borns and them crying that she's picking on them because she wouldn't let them snatch toys or push her out of the way'.

There's no testosterone surge at 4, that's a myth that seems to have originated with Biddulph.

Boys do have a spurt of testosterone around the age of 4 and again at 7 which can affect behaviour etc.

I have 3 sons and I can't recommend the book called Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph enough. It should be required reading for all parents of boys 😄

I teach in nursery and reception, and I'd say that was fairly average behaviour. Encouraging actually that he's making progress, and you can continue to support those areas at home.

Reports can't say "ignores instructions when he thinks he can get away with it, won't tidy up without a fuss and snatches from other children" even though that would be the clearest assessment of behaviour. Parents would go apeshit.
So it has to be couched in 'beginning to... with support' type language.

Having said that, ignoring instructions and snatching sounds a bit on the pita side, but not outside the range of normal for a 3 year old. I doubt he'll be their most challenging child.

I'm not a teacher but I run the under 5s group at our sports club and I think I could probably say similar things about a large number of our kids. There's quite a range of maturity at that age and we do see some little ones who have much longer attention spans and are a lot better at taking turns etc than others but there are also children who need a lot of 1:1 input and repetition before they get the hang of things. I'd say they're all normal. Obviously if you are concerned, give the staff a call but there's nothing in that report that sounds particularly out of the ordinary to me.

I hate how cryptic these things are, so much more anxiety provoking then if they just said it straight!

Struggling with change could be an indicator of ASD, it was an early indicator of DS's that I just put down to his age at the time (he wasn't diagnosed till 11). So definitely worth talking to them about.

When they say he listens well in one to one interactions are they saying that he needs someone working with him 121 for him to listen and engage? Or is it just a more general observation?

Do they have any parents evening type meetings with parents? If not or there's not one for a while I'd just contact them and ask if you can have a quick word at some point. It might all be absolutely fine but I'd rather have clarification.

Yes. He's still learning. Sounds fairly normal.

I'm sorry, but that is total nonsense. You must know some very reasonable three-year-olds!

He sounds normal. 3 year olds can be mental little rage monsters with underdeveloped empathy and selective deafness. It doesn’t sound like you have those problems, so you’re doing just fine.

Reports are a bit much IMO. My friend’s 1 year old gets a report from nursery… ‘he enjoys mealtimes, plays well on his own and sometimes with others, does get a bit upset.’

They just seem very pointless ways to measure children up against each other and add to the already substantial worry, guilt and fatigue that comes with being a parent.

I love the 'finds it difficult to resist the temptation' line. 10 out of 10 for that!! I might steal it, I'm doing reports next week so am mentally thinking of content.

Maybe he is a bit mischievous or energetic, that's normal too. All that age group are PITA at times. Sometimes the really well behaved ones like to tell tales or they try to hang out with adults instead of playing which is tricky to deal with. They should be open to discussing your concerns with you. We prefer to schedule a call as it can be impossible to get away for an impromptu call. Msg them and schedule to put your mind at rest.

It sounds absolutely typical for an average 3 year old!

Rest assured, so very normal!

Sounds like they were just scrabbling for something to write to be honest. Standard preschooler stuff. I wouldn’t be worried

@namechangerrrrrrrrrr but those things are really, really normal especially for an only child / recently become a big brother. Don't worry at all at this point. You model, you demonstrate, you don't make a big deal of it and most things will iron themselves out by the time he's 5. If they haven't then ask for more feedback.

No way. Completely normal report. He's 3 and ALL these things will be learning curves for him and most of his peers.

Op, I have worked in a preschool & school for many a yr. Please focus on the positives in the report however….

1. I instantly read this as he does not yet follow instructions always without having to be reminded. This could be eg sitting without calling out when a question is asked, or not chatting to friends at story time or one of many other things. Hopefully this will soon improve.
2. Managing change. To be honest this one would worry me at 3 1/2 & I would ask the staff what they mean by this. Very few children at this age struggle with change to routines. Tidy-up time. Some children naturally help tidy-up, too many others need several prompts. I’m sure he won’t be alone in having this on his report.
3. By 3 1/2 most children do not snatch. This again is one I would ask the staff about. I hope you find your answers op.

Then I wouldn't be so worried, but if you are then staff won't mind a chat with you about it. You're just a caring parent who wants the best for their kid, no one is going to complain about that :)

Could not disagree with this more. Sounds like typical 3 year old behaviour - and yes, they would definitely have addressed this before now if it wasn't!

He sounds like a pretty normal 3 year old to me based on what you’ve shared from the report.

Sounds like an honest third-party appraisal of a typical 3 y/o. The yummy mummies on here boasting about their 3 y/o kids being perfect humans often forget the challenging times.

He sounds fine and no more of. pita than any other 3 year old 😆

Please please please don’t have not being a pain in the arse at nursery or school as a goal for your dc 🥺
Mine are all mid twenties and successful- they all had their moments at school and I spoke to them encouraged them to engage and be “nice kids”. Anxious compliant dc don’t enjoy school and thrive- that’s what you need to focus on.
I have a particular obsession about little boys becoming switched off and over disciplined because the curriculum is a very bad fit for so many of them. Please be on your son’s side.

I don't see anything wrong at all. It's a great report 😀 Is there a back story why you are a bit worried OP?