My SIL is a competitive undereater and it's wearing me down

I wouldn’t. I get comments about my weight (I am currently fat) and I couldn’t give a sh1t. Their problem not mine.

People seem to be reading 'irritated at someone banging on about the same thing all the time in an annoyingly attention-seeking way' as 'bothered and offended by someone referring to weight, as they take it as a criticism of their own weight'. It is quite possible to find someone else's obsession annoying without taking it as a personal criticism.

Yes agree it’s frustrating I have a SiL like it, but these threads always turn into endless comments of thin people being boring, always having to watch what they eat, looking haggard etc, which is simply not true for most and the point of the thread is the comments being made but it turns into the SIL will look awful when she is older type comments, very unnecessary and, as I say, a way of people making themselves feel better about being overweight.

There are many factors taken into consideration when determining whether a person is underweight or overweight, height and age for example.

@Loudhousefun what are you actually on about, you can see at a glance if somebody is clearly underweight or overweight?

you do not know if they are underweight or not though do you? Are you in the habit of asking everyone their weight? No, I didn’t think so

I wouldn’t. I get comments about my weight (I am currently fat) and I couldn’t give a sh1t. Their problem not mine.

I said horrified not traumatised. A person who would choose to eat two desserts on top of a main meal in order to spite someone with a food issue is the person who needs therapy.

Baffling how many people are absolutely determined to misread the OP or invent their own version of what she said. The OP is not overweight, is fine with how she looks, thinks the SIL looks fine, but finds the SIL's constant unprovoked comments about portions, weight and dress size irritating. Who wouldn't, regardless of their size?!

Omg my mother is this person! And no matter how many times/ ways you tell them to stop it will continue. People like this can’t change they are deep down insecure about themselves just call her the ‘food police’ when she makes comments

Probably because the OP's SIL sounds quite a horrible person.

Frankly OP, faced with that, I'd order a second helping even if I had to fast for 2 days after to make up for it.

@Loudhousefun I said underweight not ‘slim’

Maybe try hypnotherapy for his terrible trauma?

Maybe you could fan yourself with a lettuce leaf or something?

I can’t see how having 2 cholesterol
loaded desserts is doing you any good. I think I might be quite horrified to see someone do that myself.

Eat what you want and if she says anything about it just pretend you didnt hear her. End of the day she's the one that's hungry not you and that's not your problem

"Yes I am going to eat all of this thanks...why does it matter so much to you /why do you care "
Or:
"Will you please stop commenting on what I eat , how much I eat , and how fat or thin I am as I find it very upsetting /rude , thanks ?"
Or just "Yes I am going to eat it...you can stop commenting now...tinkly laugh..."

Best way to shut them up is to say "yes and if you don't stop commenting on my lunch I'll eat you too!"

God you could be talking about my mum 🙄I get all those same flipping comments- if we go to the supermarket, her heads practically over my shoulder to see what I am buying to eat.i then get a running commentary on number of calories in those food items/ no wonder I have had an eating disorder all my life- because when I was growing up I would be told to eat every morsel on my plate & if I didn’t, she would have to parcel my food up & threatened to send to a third world country 😩

My MIL is like this! Even when I was pregnant or breastfeeding, I still couldn't eat more than the usual! I just eat my extra portions in private, and leave her miserableness to herself

My friend and I were lunching yesterday and saying how nice it is to eat with each other as we literally don't care what each other eats. Part of our larger group of friends are such hard work, always acting shocked if someone orders a side of chips or any potato based food, or starter and desserts. They will play about with their food and always leave some to make a point, it's very off putting and I avoiding eating one on one with a couple of them. It's real hard work and something they seem to need to prove. Both have very overweight grown up kids and I am sure there must have been some pressure on them as small children.

Is it though? I genuinely do not care what size other people are or what they are or aren't eating. I do care though if I'm in company with somebody who cannot STFU about what other people are eating and whether they should be eating that thing or in that quantity.

It is boring. It is needless and very few (I'm being generous there) people, want to listen to that endless carping on.

Eat what you want to eat, weigh what you like - leave other people alone and stop talking about them and what they're eating.

I wrote my post with DH's nan in mind😂she is horrendous for it lol but luckily we all just roll our eyes, annoyed me when DH's younger sibling bought their girlfriend to something though and she passed comment. She was only about 20 and so shy but dh's nan latches onto that.

I had completely forgotten that song and yet read that line in his voice. Thats going on the Spotify playlist!

I had a friend like that. I went on holiday with her once and she never ate breakfast or lunch and made me feel guilty and greedy for doing so. She told me that not many women ate lunch. She died over 20 years ago - far too young. I think her organs failed.

Half my family are like this. It wasn't until I married DH that I realised what normal eating actually was. I always thought I was the "fat one" for doing things like eating lunch!

I don't know what to say to make you feel better, other than it's her issue.