To think there are no 'normal women'

The concept of a "normal woman" is reductive and sexist. What's a "normal man?"

We're all unique.

There are probably about 15% of the mums at school who seem like this. Seem to form a clique where they socialise a lot but have little personality when you speak to them.

I think I understand what you're saying in the context of trans discussion. I've met a few transwomen who dress a bit like a caricature of how society has traditionally portrayed women should dress and often try to start conversations with me about hair, makeup and shopping and stereotypically feminine interests. I'm polite and try to continue the conversation, but these aren't things which have ever particularly interested me, so I'm not particularly knowledgeable. Most women I know aren't wearing makeup and dressing up on a day to day basis. It doesn't bother me and I think everyone has the right to dress and live their life how they want to (so long as they're not harming others).

I think plenty of people fall into the category of just feeling like them, rather than overtly masculine or feminine and don't feel the need to put a label on it such as 'gender fluid'. They should be allowed to crack on with it in the same way that people should be able to label themselves if that makes them happy. The issues only arise when one subset tries to dictate how others should choose to identify (or not) themselves.

Because it's not a "trans debate" it's a discussion about women's rights and safety.
Because transwomen take up most of the available space on social media, mainstream media and real life.

And actually, if you read FWR transmen/boys are discussed fairly regularly. Particularly in respect of the many many teenage girls who are transitioning atm.

I think you also fail to recognise that marketing agencies conduct extensive research not only into demographic of people who buy advertised products but also which adverts perform best for the said demographic. So yes, maybe you are not interested in their offer, but that just means you are not their target demographic. They will have tracked who uses the service, what the average target customer looks like, what are their values. It is called a "persona" and they create the content which is more likely to attract this persona.
Who is more likely to be interested in a spa break? A woman with tasteful jewellery who lovingly smiles at her salad or a woman with dreadlocks who walks barefoot in the rain at a forest festival? Advertising has to target the demographic who is most likely to buy a product, otherwise it is wasted money.

Just put an ad blocker on and then you don't have to see any of this shit.

Sure. I’m just saying that bland, general advertising categories are a blunt tool for selling us shit we don’t need, not some kind of indication of what’s ‘normal’. There’s a huge industry in selling gendered ‘wellness’, ‘pampering’, diets, and implicitly coercive self-presentation to women, for instance.

Now you tell me.

Bless the dads that use their personalised beer mugs/tankards to drink their iced lattes.

My dad doesn't really fit the narrative either, he did however supply my sister and I with at least two of "our" power tools (his that we 'borrowed'). His cards are of the funny/rude variety.

Why shouldn't a woman laugh while eating a salad??
Someone may have cracked a joke
She might be laughing at the thought of 3 weeks off work wwith an e-coli infection given the state of salad leaves at mo.

Of course you’re right, OP. We’re all different, and none of us are special to anyone except our own loved ones. But saying this to anyone under 40 is an act of literal violence, or something.

Who is ‘we’ here?

How are you only seeing adverts for ‘Dove and spa break vouchers’ because I see a lot more ads than that.

I think it’s pretty telling that you seem to think women who like spa breaks, gin and skincare can’t possibly also like other things. Your attitude reeks of internalised misogyny.

Why is the trans debate on Mumsnet always exclusively in terms of men who feel like women and not women who feel like men - who also exist?

Which people? Advertising people? Of course they do! Look at Father’s Day cards — the vast majority feature a weirdly limited view of masculinity. I was in a big card shop buying one for my dad a couple of weeks ago, and the available cards’ imagery fell into a small number of categories. Golf, beer, fast cars, DIY. My father is teetotal, has zero interest in sport, drives an old Clio, and will change a lightbulb if necessary. It just means he doesn’t fit into key marketing categories as decided by card designers.

I'm sure many of us can list a bunch of things that make us feel like a woman, an adult human female. Most of which I expect adult human males can never or have never experienced.

Feeling like a woman is not about physical appearance or hobbies.

It’s about the standard, “hidden” misogyny women experience on a daily basis. It’s about attitude to women in the workplace, expectations towards them as mothers, passing comments that we only as women perceive as offensive. It’s about not feeling safe to walk home at night from the train station. It’s about being so much more likely to fall victim of a sexual assault from a stranger than a man.

I say this as someone who enjoys equal policies and conditions at work, is privileged enough to have friends and family who respect women, and walked through the city at 1am last night to get home.

I’m not afraid to be a woman. But I know what it is like to be. Feeling like a woman is not about dresses and spa breaks. It’s about not enjoying the safety and privileges men do.

Because spas and car manufacturers have large advertising budgets. Honestly, when was the last time you visited your local climbing wall? They run it on a shoestring. Do you really think they have the kind of money to buy TV adverts?

My SM feed is full of things I am interested in - that's what smaller advertising budgets can achieve very well.

This. There is no universal "woman feeling." I am a biological adult human female and cannot tell you how it feels to be a woman. I just am one.

Sounds like your male friend believes in stereotypes of femininity.

I love true crime... does that make me quirky and alternative? 😅 I also like gardening, paganism, burlesque, creative writing, gardening, face masks and festivals. I think I'm just as unique as everyone else.

They definitely do! There are so many “I’d rather be on the golf course” mugs or Fathers Day cards based on wine, cars, football and other male/dad stereotypes.

I can confidently say I’ve never had a dove or spa break voucher advertised to me. Ever. Maybe now that I’ve written the words down on my phone, the algorithm will pick it up and I will see them regularly now

Aren’t they like the people in Holywood wives etc living a surreal superficial existence (I don’t watch these so could be wrong -DD does)

The adverts are basically aspirational, selling a lifestyle they think their product fits into. They don’t portray “normal” women.

I don’t drink gin and have never had a “spa day”. They do them at my gym but I’m not interested. All a mystery to me. I dress in clothes I think flatter me. I love rugby, aircraft and cameras. Trains not so much. Like a bit of supernatural horror but as far as true crime goes, I’m interested in unsolved ones, but not going over and over the details of Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Dahmer’s crimes.