Breastfeeding and no sex drive - DH annoyed

Simple really tell him the only way your sex drive will come back is if you stop breastfeeding but since he won't help you with this he is in fact the problem. He needs to get up at night and actually help so you can stop breastfeeding. Then leave the ball in his court. Don't have anymore kids with him.

If I am reading your OP correctly, then I am going to assume that for at least half of your marriage he has been dissatisfied with the frequency of sex? If so, that’s a long time.

You say you want to stop bf? So find a day and that’s the day you will stop. Make sure he is on board with this and will be supportive. If you need his help for this in the night, wake him up and remind him. Work on this together with the end goal being you will have a sex life again (although I either wouldn’t tell him that or else make it clear he isn’t to pressure you at the end of it, just in case you decide you don’t want sex afterwards).

My sex drive did return when I stopped breastfeeding, but only during the few days of ovulation. The rest of the month it was as before i.e. tired and busy most of the time so relatively low.
I think you have bigger problems than breastfeeding. Your husband not being involved enough and poor coomunication are more harmful than a temporary low sex drive. I think you need to sit down and have a proper talk and insist he pulls his weight more.

Calling you abnormal is completely unacceptable, I can't believe no one seems to have even mentioned that yet!

Tell the lazy, inconsiderate, insulting shit that when he starts getting up in the night so that you can get some sleep you might be more interested in having sex with him.

How dare he tell you that you're abnormal. Asshole.

I think it can be quite normal to feel touched out and tired when breastfeeding and looking after young children. However, it’s also possible that if you make the effort to have sex more often you will enjoy it and get back into wanting to have it.

Your DH not helping out is another matter and that will contribute to your tiredness so a calm explanation that he needs to pull his weight (without involving sex) needs to be had. Ultimately though, if one person wants sex and the other doesn’t, the relationship is unlikely to last.

Stopping breastfeeding will get your hormones back to normal. Lactation hormones do
nothing for sex drive. Your dh’s feelings are pretty normal IMO.

I think it's absolutely exhausting breastfeeding through the night like that when baby is so much older. I'm putting my hard hat on now but if I were you I would stop feeding.

I fed my daughter until she was 18 months old and she woke continuously throughout the night. Once I stop feeding she started to sleep through and everything became much more manageable.

Having said that, your husband needs to play a bigger role.

It's not on that he makes promises and doesn't keep them.

Yep BF can kill off your libido but so can just having little kids to be honest. It’s natures way of preventing you having more dc when you’ve already got your hands full! You dh shouldn’t be sulking about it. You need to talk to each other more and he should try to be more understanding- and help with the dc more by the sounds of it.

No you aren't abnormal.

I think you need to have a serious sit down with him and tell him that you want to get back to having a physical relationship, but he needs to start acting like a father and pulling his weight with his children. Tell him that being touched out and breastfeeding hormones means that your libido is on the floor and he needs to start playing an active role in the weaning process.

Even if he says nothing, calmly lay it all out and hope it starts to percolate through. And, even if it makes it harder for a few nights, make him get up at night. Actively wake him, say it's his turn, refuse to get out of bed and don't let him fall back asleep.

Once you stop breastfeeding it will come back.