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AIBU?

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AIBU to think 'watching 5 more minutes of this' means just that?

37 replies

Dizzydolly12 · 17/06/2024 07:03

Last night, boyfriend and I were sat together on the sofa watching the England game. Well, he was watching the football and I was on my phone doing various bits but was happily sat with him cuddled up. We'd been chatting all the way through the first half and it got to half way through the half time commentary. He'd already said he probably wouldn't watch all the match as he needed to get some sleep for an early start at work. I asked him what the plan was and he said 'I'll watch 5 more minutes of this, then head upstairs' I was a bit bored and getting tired by this point but thought that's fine, I'll wait for 5 and we'll go to bed together. 10 mins of half time commentary passed and I again asked because I would go up without him and he could come up later if he wanted. He repeated his answer and started to get annoyed. Turns out he meant i'll watch 5 more minutes of the match when it restarts the second half. But aibu to take what he said literally and presume he just meant 5 more minutes of the programme in general rather than of the 2nd half of the game?
He doesn't watch football usually, I know nothing about football so how can I be expected to mind read and understand that's what he meant. It led to bickering and he continued to say things like 'If I'd have said that to anyone else, they would have understood.' And 'I'm sorry you've interpreted it that way.'
It was a miscommunication that was blown way out of proportion but his response always makes me feel like I'm in the wrong. He puts a spin on the apology to make it my fault. It should have been I'm sorry I wasn't clear enough and didn't say what I actually meant.

OP posts:
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darklittlecloudsong · 17/06/2024 11:10

Dizzydolly12 · 17/06/2024 10:33

I guess everyone else would interpret it the same as him then and not me! I can accept when I'm wrong and in this case I am.
I should have just gone up to bed I know but we do usually go up together as we have the same general routines so it's not usually a problem. And 5 mins seems like neither here nor there to wait. I knew he wasn't watching the full match.
Tbh I think there are a few other issues which is why it got to me, it's really a non event and looking at it in isolation I can see that. I think for me, it's the reaction afterwards but we may need to just work on communication and ironing out little annoyances (on both sides) going forward.

People are nuanced and complicated. It's unfair to hold someone to things like "you said 5 minutes" when he's just relaxing in his own home watching telly.

Imagine if you were engrossed in a box set and he complained to you about the same. You may well also snap at him.

seedsandseeds · 17/06/2024 11:09

When it's got to this level of pettiness...

I'm just glad I'm single when I read shite like this

liveforsummer · 17/06/2024 11:06

Id assume it was 5 more minutes of the match as who wants to listen to the rambling in between, especially if not normally a football fan. Do you never tell yourself though that you'll do/watch 5 more minutes of something then get in to it and watch more. He probably felt pressured to go to bed and a bit irritated by it so didn't react the best.

SpringerFall · 17/06/2024 10:52

You are a grown up go to bed when you want

Walkinginthesand · 17/06/2024 10:34

For your own MH, stop taking time indications like this literally as they are very elastic

Dizzydolly12 · 17/06/2024 10:33

I guess everyone else would interpret it the same as him then and not me! I can accept when I'm wrong and in this case I am.
I should have just gone up to bed I know but we do usually go up together as we have the same general routines so it's not usually a problem. And 5 mins seems like neither here nor there to wait. I knew he wasn't watching the full match.
Tbh I think there are a few other issues which is why it got to me, it's really a non event and looking at it in isolation I can see that. I think for me, it's the reaction afterwards but we may need to just work on communication and ironing out little annoyances (on both sides) going forward.

OP posts:
FuckTheClubUp · 17/06/2024 10:17

I’m another who’s wondering why you need to go to bed together? Even if it’s something that annoyed you, it’s hardly worth starting a thread over surely?

Noseybookworm · 17/06/2024 09:49

What a ridiculous argument over nothing. If you were tired, you should have just gone to bed!

AmelieTaylor · 17/06/2024 09:25

Match is pretty obvious if you watch any sport or reality type tv.

5 minutes is not exact, it's just 'a bit more. I really don't want to be up so late, but I don't want to miss it really'

its a really daft thing to argue about.

RosieChardonnay · 17/06/2024 09:09

PracticallyYesterday · 17/06/2024 07:49

It means "I'm going to watch this for a bit longer; if I get engrossed I might watch the whole thing."

Agree with this

I am sorry OP. Can you not just go to bed by yourself?

DoreenonTill8 · 17/06/2024 08:49

ExtraOnions · 17/06/2024 08:33

In this house “I’m watching 5 more minutes” can mean anything from 5 minutes to 3 hours.

It’s normally me that says it, I get invested very quickly

Exactly just like 'give me a minute' means give me 60 seconds exactly!

ExtraOnions · 17/06/2024 08:33

In this house “I’m watching 5 more minutes” can mean anything from 5 minutes to 3 hours.

It’s normally me that says it, I get invested very quickly

BrigadierEtienneGerard · 17/06/2024 08:29

Of course it doesn't mean that anymore than "a swift half" means either "swift" or only just a "half".

Boutonnière · 17/06/2024 08:26

Such a mountain out of a molehill. My DH is more of a rugby fan but he was also half heartedly watching the first half, disappeared off during half time, came back at the start of the second and said he’d just watch a bit but ended up watching it all. I went to bed at some point ( no interest at all).

CurlewKate · 17/06/2024 08:21

Why didn't you just go to bed when you wanted to?

Muffin101 · 17/06/2024 08:20

PracticallyYesterday · 17/06/2024 07:49

It means "I'm going to watch this for a bit longer; if I get engrossed I might watch the whole thing."

This. Why didn’t you just go to bed on your own? What a storm in a teacup.

HereWeGoRoundAgain · 17/06/2024 08:20

It means "I want to watch the whole thing really, but I don't want to tell you that because I can see you're unhappy with it, so I'll say five minutes and hope you don't bring it up"...

If have just gone to bed by myself and asked him to be quiet when he came up.

darklittlecloudsong · 17/06/2024 08:19

It led to bickering because of you. The fact that you've even taken the time to post this waffle is proof of that. I'd be demented living with someone who picked at me like this.

Ponoka7 · 17/06/2024 08:15

He's watching the football, so five more minutes of football to see if Serbia was coming back out with enough to swing the match the other way. You can't tell if it's going to be worth watching. Are you in the UK? It would have been 8.50 pm, far enough if you have 5am starts. You should have just gone to bed, you don't have to go up at the same time. Who started bickering?

Olika · 17/06/2024 08:14

If my DH is watching football and I want to go to bed, I just go. I don't need us to go to bed at the same time. Such a weird thing to make issue of.

Tiswa · 17/06/2024 08:13

it was 9pm when this happened so hardly late - but yes I would have taken it as the match as well!

Edenmum2 · 17/06/2024 08:12

Jeez. Does it matter?

Summerbay23 · 17/06/2024 08:11

PracticallyYesterday · 17/06/2024 07:49

It means "I'm going to watch this for a bit longer; if I get engrossed I might watch the whole thing."

This. You should have just gone to bed on your own, it really isn’t a big deal.

CuntRYMusicStar · 17/06/2024 08:08

My dh was watching - half heartedly. I was tired so left him to it. He came up when it finished. If he'd said 5 more minutes I wouldn't have started commenting at 5 minutes - clearly if he's still watching then he's still watching - I don't need him to submit an updated schedule.

Just go to bed when you want to go to bed, this is a ridiculous thing to bicker about.

JurassicClark · 17/06/2024 07:53

PracticallyYesterday · 17/06/2024 07:49

It means "I'm going to watch this for a bit longer; if I get engrossed I might watch the whole thing."

It’s absolutely this. YABU