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Original poster

.. in finding Fathers’ Day a little bit naff?

85 replies

iCod · 16/06/2024 16:39

Yeah, so dads are great, loving your dad is great, giving your dad a present is great, but the whole concept of Father’s Day for me is a bit like baby showers - that’s to say a modern invention that doesn’t quite sit right with me.

I don’t do it - dad’s dead now anyway - but we even now don’t give gifts and giant chocolate bars saying DAD.

are you a Father’s Day late adopter ? Or a refusenik? A Marshall Pétain standing firm against a Father’s Day onslaught?

OP posts:
Mannikin · 16/06/2024 17:32

We love it. My girls (17 and 10) have each separately baked cakes for their dad, made him a card and bought him a really thoughtful gift each (books and loose leaf tea!). We’ve spent the day with both girls picking things they loved doing with him - playing piano together, going for a walk, playing on the Xbox and it’s just felt lovely to celebrate him.

The only thing I don’t like about it is that it’s painful for some people.

NoTouch · 16/06/2024 17:32

I am in my 50s and always did the same thing with mothers and fathers day after I became a fully fledged adult. We were never "forced" into doing anything when we were kids, or selfish teens, they waited until we were ready and wanted to.

I would take mum to the garden center and buy her a few plants/seeds for her garden as she hated cut flowers.

I would take dad a bottle of whisky and we'd have a chat. If the weather was nice he'd put on a BBQ and enjoy having us all around, if not he'd probably treat us to to takeaway.

No fuss, we never bothered with cards, just a nice day with mum or dad.

modgepodge · 16/06/2024 17:30

iCod · 16/06/2024 17:21

I think I regard Mother’s Day as more traditional because of Mothering Sunday

Are you Christian? If so I understand that. If not, I’m not sure it’s relevant? My husband’s family are and they never celebrated Father’s Day growing up asa result.

i definitely made Father’s Day cards at school, brownies etc in the 1990s so it doesn’t feel new to me. Dads are just as important as mums in my eyes.

We don’t do anything major. a card, a small token gift, and out for lunch for us. Husband’s choice of restaurant!

tuvamoodyson · 16/06/2024 17:29

HoHoHoliday · 16/06/2024 17:11

It's no more naff than all of the other over-commercialised things people celebrate these days. When I was a child mother's day and Father's day used to be a home made card and perhaps a bunch of daffodils for mum and chocolate for dad, that was it. These days people expect a whole experience day.

Happily, mine never did! A bar of bourneville chocolate for dad when we were children!

ThiswillDoItsfine · 16/06/2024 17:29

iCod · 16/06/2024 17:24

Interested people think it was commonplace in the 70a and 80s.

Maybe my mum just disapproved and so banned it! Highly likely 😁

So it was never something your family did op? I think that will certainly shape your opinion. Families have their own traditions, and that is okay. I grew up celebrating the day in a low key way, this is the first without my dear Dad, and it hurts. I have been to the cemetery to place flowers today, all of this love with nowhere to go. My dad was very selfless, easily pleased, and didn't expect a thing, so a day as an excuse to show appreciation for him was one I loved.

tuvamoodyson · 16/06/2024 17:28

CoastalCalm · 16/06/2024 17:07

It’s not modern at all , and I’ve always celebrated it and so do everyone I know. I lost my Dad in 2022 , just been for a trip to his grave to put flowers on and wish him a happy Father’s Day

Yes…same here. We always celebrated Mother’s Day/Father’s day….small gift, card, nothing elaborate. Like you, it’s a trip to the cemetery for both of them now unfortunately.

Original poster
iCod · 16/06/2024 17:27

Yeah, you’re right about Mothering Sunday but at least there is some tradition behind it.

I realise it’s a pretty irrelevant thing to post about 😁 but I do regard it as a bit hallmark Clinton Cards.

OP posts:
MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 16/06/2024 17:27

Oblomov24 · 16/06/2024 17:12

Nope. Disagree. Like Mother's Day,

I do. And valentines.

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 16/06/2024 17:26

All the hallmark holidays are naff.

We just do cards with a box of chocs and wine.

SwingTheMonkey · 16/06/2024 17:25

iCod · 16/06/2024 17:21

I think I regard Mother’s Day as more traditional because of Mothering Sunday

But Mothering Sunday historically had nothing to do with one’s own mother? It was honouring the Virgin Mary and a chance to attend your ‘mother church’. The idea that mothers are celebrated is far more modern.

Purplecatshopaholic · 16/06/2024 17:25

It’s the same as Mothers Day. I am neither, and I have neither, so it makes no odds to me, lol.

Momstermunch · 16/06/2024 17:25

We 'celebrate'. As someone said upthread it's nice to take a day to say thank you to a parent. We don't buy generic shit for the sake of it though and nobody throws any tantrums or makes any demands about mother or fathers day. Just a card, his favourite chocs and/or his favourite meal cooked for him. Not sure I see the harm really...

Original poster
iCod · 16/06/2024 17:24

Interested people think it was commonplace in the 70a and 80s.

Maybe my mum just disapproved and so banned it! Highly likely 😁

OP posts:
Boomer55 · 16/06/2024 17:21

I’m in my 60’s. I always sent my Dad a card and a gift. It might be naff, but he was a lovely dad. I still miss him.☹️

Original poster
iCod · 16/06/2024 17:21

I think I regard Mother’s Day as more traditional because of Mothering Sunday

OP posts:
Original poster
iCod · 16/06/2024 17:21

Yes, you are right. Men are more cool about it and less bothered by any absence of fuss, that never occurred to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
iCod · 16/06/2024 17:20

GalileoHumpkins · 16/06/2024 17:09

Do you do anything for your mum or if you have kids expect them to do something for you? You sound a bit of a curmudgeon with a dad grudge tbh.

My dad is dead. He was very loved!

OP posts:
ThiswillDoItsfine · 16/06/2024 17:20

Needmorelego · 16/06/2024 17:14

Of all the celebrations and festivals out there I think Father's Day is probably the most low key.
Mother's Day seems to be all about breakfast in bed, "a nice" meal out, flowers, a gift that was too small or to over the top, no gift (bad), too many gifts ("I don't need anything so it's all just tat"), arguing with husbands over who is more important - you, your mum, his mum and it all ending with tears at some point.
😂😂😂
Father's Day is buying your dad or your husband a bottle of his favourite beer and him going
"ooh what's the occasion?"
"it's Father's Day"
"oh right.. .cheers love".

Exactly this. You don't hear dads moaning that they didn't get enough fuss, or the card was worded wrongly! 😂They're usually chilled about it. It is though highly subjective, and dependent on the kind of relationship you have with a parent, what said parent likes/dislikes and many other factors. There is no right or wrong. Happy fathers day from the cat cards or a step too far for me though.

TeaKitten · 16/06/2024 17:16

I’m 35 and we made Father’s Day cards in primary school like we did Mother’s Day. It’s really not particularly modern.

Needmorelego · 16/06/2024 17:14

Of all the celebrations and festivals out there I think Father's Day is probably the most low key.
Mother's Day seems to be all about breakfast in bed, "a nice" meal out, flowers, a gift that was too small or to over the top, no gift (bad), too many gifts ("I don't need anything so it's all just tat"), arguing with husbands over who is more important - you, your mum, his mum and it all ending with tears at some point.
😂😂😂
Father's Day is buying your dad or your husband a bottle of his favourite beer and him going
"ooh what's the occasion?"
"it's Father's Day"
"oh right.. .cheers love".

Ineedaholidayyyy · 16/06/2024 17:14

Yeah I agree ,and the same for valentines day and mothers day. Its just another day , although I do still the pressure to buy a small token gift.

I like to make a big fuss over birthdays though , as that's unique to the person, whereas I feel Fathers Day etc is commercialised.

Figgygal · 16/06/2024 17:13

I couldn't give a shite about mother's and agree with you op

Oblomov24 · 16/06/2024 17:12

Nope. Disagree. Like Mother's Day,

fieldsofbutterflies · 16/06/2024 17:11

Do you feel the same about Mothers Day?

HoHoHoliday · 16/06/2024 17:11

It's no more naff than all of the other over-commercialised things people celebrate these days. When I was a child mother's day and Father's day used to be a home made card and perhaps a bunch of daffodils for mum and chocolate for dad, that was it. These days people expect a whole experience day.