For being upset at what DP said to his friend?

To me it sounds like it's quite possible he would pay for sex if he was there alone or with mates.

I don't understand why some people are assuming it has to be nothing but a joke?

now now.. you forgot the they/thems who also sell their wares in amsterdam... how very dare you forget those 😂

This is where we disagree. The problem, in my view, is that you both went to look at the goods (actually, human women), who sell themselves to men based on their looks and got upset that he liked what he saw. It's like taking him to a lapdance club and getting pissy that he got a boner.

The issue is the sex tourism, his banter is a non issue.

@GrumpyPanda ... i've been thanks x

In all honesty this would be a deal breaker to me. Not the "fit birds" comment because whatever I'm sure there were attractive women, and not because he walked through the red light district because I mean who cares, but the comment about being skint if you weren't with him. That's a red flag. I couldn't trust him and to be honest I don't see the point of being in a relationship you can't trust.

I think you were unreasonable to read his messages though but I would also be very upset

She went with him for a look around. They are both culpable for looking at the women as commodities.

Can the people saying it's just banter please explain the joke. What exactly is funny about purchasing a human body to stick your penis in? I don't get it.

It's absolutely not how the men in my life talk to each other.

Very cool.

He’s trying to act hard to his friend. He maybe has to keep up lads banter. You know him best. Is he like this too when he’s with you or not. How was he in Amsterdam. I would say this comment, whilst a bit immature and silly, has obviously hit a nerve.

How darea he jokes about using prostitutes you both went to oogle at

If I was with the sort of bloke that that goes to the pub with his mates every week and is part of a "lads" group then i would expect it. He sounds like that sort so in your situation, I wouldn't care.

My husband is not like that at all and if we went to Amsterdam neither of us would want to go to the Red light district because its sad in a genuinely depressing way and we aren't into sex tourism.

So you need to know what you're shopping for when you pick up a boyfriend.

Im sorry, but you went with him to the red-light District, of course his mate asked about it. Of course he probaby liked what he saw; they are there to entice. Sorry but I think you play silly games you win silly prizes. What did you expect him to think and say?

In your shoes there is no point ruining a sunday by huffing.

@Begsthequestion yes i've been thanks... with my partner.. we did go look, we had a great time, we also went to the coffee house's and tried the chocolate brownies, they were awesome.

if my husband has sent messages to any of his mates about what he saw, i would have no idea because a) i don't feel the need to secretly check his phoone and b) i really wouldnt care.

Tell me you haven't been to Amsterdam without telling me you haven't been to Amsterdam...

It’s not about him “ looking at other women”. It’s about the way he talks about women with his friends- clearly the man is a raging misogynist. Or at least he thinks it’s cool and funny to act like one (which pretty much amounts to the same thing). Not sure why this isn’t obvious to you?

How do people know it's only a joke? Don't straight men often go to European countries on stag do's to pay for sex? That's what sex workers there say anyway.

But why? Either they really would be buying prostitutes or at the very least they don't think it's a bad practice to support because it's funny to them. Women having to sell their bodies isn't really joke material in my book, but I suppose it depends what you expect from the father of your kids.

Clearly a joke, you weren't meant to see it. I'm sure there's things you say to your friends that read by someone else would sound at least questionable!

oh good lord.. it sounds to me like you actually want to believe all these replies about what a monster your partner is..

men look at other women! women look at other men.. my husband knows that jason statham is my pass... if he knocked on the door, hubby has to close it quiety behind him... its not real.. its never going to happen.. its a bit of fun!

Have you been? It's just a few streets in the city, you don't have to go looking for it. Doesn't mean op was up for paying for sex.

Lads banter, and he was really saying reply quick about a conversation about Amsterdam? I'd be fuming at my privacy being invaded if my DH done that.

Why do we accept this off men? Why is this ok in the name of banter? How juvenile!

I would feel exactly the same OP

your partner is disgusting.

WTF is with all the women on this thread saying it’s a joke?! So it’s ok to joke about buying women as if they were a piece of steak in the supermarket. This is fucking rank, violent misogyny.

Having said that you were wrong to look on his phone.