To ask how to potty train a resistant 3 year old?

Not the end of the world. It’s training. There are going to be accidents. You’d be cleaning it up anyway if he was in a nappy and if it’s a real mess then honestly get the nail scissors and cut the pants off at the side and bin them. IDK what timezone you’re on but it’s lunchtime here and there’s a reflex thing that makes it likely you’ll get a poo 30-60 minutes after eating. So you could get him on the potty/toilet in that window and have him sit for 15-20 minutes, using TV is Gina Ford approved even if she hasn’t caught up with streaming and suggests a video, and there’s a decent chance you’ll get lucky. Apparently blowing bubbles can also help, something to do with the stomach muscles. Also it makes sitting there fun!

Stay strong with the poo accidents OP, I know it's really horrible.

Stop potting training....I know you say you not got much time but you just making it worse. Throw away the potty as child got bad image of it. When you restart you go straight to the toilet with a special seat. Give it a break of two weeks or so then go shopping for pants ...dc chooses the pants. On a dry day in the uk put dc in the new pants hopefully with paw patrol, Peppa or whatever child likes. Go outside and play. Get child favourite chocolate etc. Say a wee or poo gets two chocolate buttons etc. reward for any tiny amount of wee. Good luck. You still got time x

If you wouldn’t mind terribly, I’d be ever so grateful if you could take a moment to explain what it is that you’re personally getting out of berating the OP? It’s such a weird thing to come on here for the first time in ages and see such pointless unpleasantness - having largely deserted MN for months because it’s grim coming on and observing such pointless unpleasantness! OP has made it very clear she’s invested lots of time in potty training, yet here you are telling her she hasn’t. So weird.

Has anyone suggested bribery? (Haven't rtft)
My DD was a refuser. I promised her a scooter.
She finally cracked it in the summer before she was due to start pre-school in the autumn.

I rate GF over Oh Crap too. It’s a bit old fashioned eg talk of videoing programmes from TV for them to watch but otherwise it’s a sensible no nonsense approach. Whilst Oh Crap clearly works for some, and that’s great, it doesn’t for all and the author clearly doesn’t know it all because there’s a chapter on night training which is next level batshittery. And you’ve been there, done that, it’s not for you guys so ignore anyone repeating the same or telling you to get a time machine etc. I also hear you on the time constraints. I had 10 days annual leave when we were training DD!! It it hadn’t been for lockdown I genuinely don’t know how we would have done it as daycare were not particularly helpful.

You just do the best you can, accept there will be accidents, take spares and wipes out everywhere with you and bulk buy cheap pants so you can chuck them if they’re super gross! DS has been trained for over a year and we get a wee accident about every 3 weeks- there was 1 today at nursery. A lot kids have them occasionally up to reception age so 4/5. Whilst the school might be insisting on ‘trained’ they won’t be expecting perfection from an incoming class of 3YOs so don’t stress about that. From him all you need to get to is a willingness to use the toilet and to try, and it sounds like you’re making fab progress if you’ve had 2 hits and 1 miss so far today. Just don’t give up!! I’m also glad DH is getting on board and that it (hopefully!) won’t all be on you going forwards.

Reading comprehension is clearly an issue here. The OP is currently dedicating 6 days to focus on potty training. She has not been on holiday at all so far.

Also I didn't see you offering any helpful new ideas - everything you suggested has already been said in the thread by other people (albeit mostly in a nicer and more supportive tone)

As for comparing with rape in the middle east that really is sinking to a whole new low.

Not trying to be mean in any way. Ridiculous comment. The OP is asking for guidance and then shooting down every practical suggestion.

OP keeps returning to the fact she has a job as reason not to dedicate time and focus to potty training. Not going on holiday or taking unpaid leave is exactly what families in the same boat do.

Juggling work alongside children’s needs becomes increasingly difficult as they get older. It does require a change in perspective or practical arrangements if it’s not all just going to feel miserable the whole time. That isn’t me trying to be mean, it’s something we all have to contend with as working parents.

if you truly find my comments on this ‘disgraceful’ I would urge you to look at some of the things written in the ‘conflict in the middle east’ board denying rape or making racist comments about minority groups for some perspective.

Suggesting potty training takes time and focus is hardly antagonising someone.

It was all the people mollifying her that got her into difficulty last time. Being told shes doing everything right or just to give up hasn’t helped her previously. So suggesting an alternative approach is done with only good intentions; seems it isn’t having that effect so I will leave it there and hope OP doing the same thing for the Nth time suddenly bears different results (!)

highly recommend gina ford book on this topic. it really does start with them being ready. used 3 times. 1st child sorted in a day and nappy free during naps by end of week. child 2 broke me but used gina startegy and sorted in a week. 3rd child sorted on day 1. goid luck

I found the naked from waist down worked with DD but not DS because he simply couldn't see why he couldn't just stand with his feet apart and wee on the floor 😳.

Wow some of these comments aimed at OP are so AWFUL.

Ignore them OP.

As for the Oh crap method. I used it with my reluctant DD, who sounds just like your son.

It also ' didn't really work '. We were just stuck in phase 1 for ages. Because of the sitting on the potty defiance and the withholding. Oh crap, doesn't really cover much about how to handle children that do this.

It would be great if there was a book, or advice for children who behave this way. I couldn't find much out there and whenever I posted here- the majority said ' not ready '. I almost fell for that BS, but decided there is just NO way that I was ' ready ' at 18 months and my DD wouldn't be ready at 2 and a half.

Anyway, just keep going OP. No turning back. It will take time, but it will work.

You say you haven't really allowed screens (and I'm 100% with you on that) but... this might be the time to make an exception.

There are episodes of most of the kids shows that deal with potty training.

He's older, and he can hold, so your windows are going to be wider but I would try:

Put the nappy IN the potty.

Give it your best guess for when he needs to go.

Sit him on it and let him watch something. It will also give him a second source of English exposure, so there's that.

Watching will capture his attention, and you might get lucky. If nothing else, if he enjoys watching, you'll have your bribe for getting him to sit.

I haven't read the whole thread so apologies if it's been suggested. The way I cracked my resistant 3 year old was to put him in trousers, but no pants. So when he wet himself it was a very obvious feeling of discomfort. And after the inevitable accidents, I made him responsible for stopping what he was doing and changing himself (spare clothes at hand)
I think the problems with pull ups, just pants, or naked from the waist down is that they still feel little or no discomfort.

And no reaction to accidents other than a brief oh dear, let's get changed.

Good luck!

Dont let it put you off more children. It’s a stage just like any other. Remember the sleep regression? You get through it. Just wait until they are teens, you will be thinking fondly of when it just was potty training! I miss mine being small now, they are in their 20’s now. Even these hard days of motherhood are special, don’t wish them away. Best of luck, you can do it.

Muthaofcats
I did think the same, how is Op going to deal with school and the inevitable challenges that will make potty training seem a dream in comparison?

a perspective change necessary / finding some support or taking on board guidance on forums as an alternative

This is just out and out mean spirited.

It's actually shameful that you think it's ok to write this on a forum for mums.

You could apply this logic to anything a mum may find challenging whilst raising her child.

You're just trying to rile the OP up. I'm going to call you out on this, it's disgraceful really.

I would honestly cancel the holiday it's a want the potty training is a need. But that is me.

I hope it goes well for you but just to leave you with a bit of wisdom from my mum when mine were small and we were potty training. “They all get there eventually, you don’t see many 36 year old men in nappies”. Best of luck.

Haha yes.