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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wish my partner just occasionally chose to not drink with me?

33 replies

abathaday · 15/06/2024 21:39

So I’m pregnant and my partner hasn’t changed his drinking habits at all. Before pregnancy we both liked a drink but he always drank more than me. Anyway, since I got pregnant he hasn’t changed his drinking habits at all and it’s just started to really grate on me and I can’t tell if I’m just hormonal or justified. Part of it is the fact that I feel like I’m missing out- not always, but on Fridays I do miss that cold glass of wine. It’s just becoming hard to watch him pouring drink after drink and getting silly. I find his drunk behaviour so unattractive and the fact he’s unable to give even one night of drinking up. We haven’t bought anything for the baby yet but he’s just dropped a couple of hundred on a new beer machine for gods sake. He said he’d come back from seeing his mates at 5 and he’s still out because he’s getting drunk. I just feel so alone and unsupported in the pregnancy but nothing will make him change because he’s happily addicted to booze. I don’t even know anymore, I can’t tell if I’m just bloody hormonal and fed up and have my own issues with alcohol because I miss it or it’s on him. Would I be within my rights to insist that he stops drinking for a bit or should I leave it…

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 15/06/2024 21:59

How pregnant are you? At some point he is going to have to calm it down so he is in a fit state to drive you to the hospital possibly at quite short notice

Shineabrightlight · 15/06/2024 21:56

I think it's worrying that he hasn't even thought about modifying his behaviour. Whilst it would be unreasonable to expect him to stop drinking altogether he should be starting to take on board he is going to be a father soon and that means not carrying on in the manner of someone with no responsibility. When you have children things change. Or should change
If I were you OP I would be concerned that when baby is born he will continue drinking and socialising as he has always done and it will be left to you to change your lifestyle radically while he carries on as he has always done.
I think you should be discussing how you feel at the moment about his drinking been unaffected and how you both envisage your lifestyles going forward.

SilentSilhouette · 15/06/2024 21:55

StormingNorman · 15/06/2024 21:43

Bit quick to jump to LTB over a couple of drinks.

A couple of drinks??? The OP says he drinks every night! Hardly the behaviour of a dad to be!

Sometimes shock tactics are needed.

paddyclampofthethirdkind · 15/06/2024 21:50

StormingNorman · 15/06/2024 21:43

You have FOMO. He’s not pregnant so doesn’t need to give up drinking. I get that it’s hard for you to give up and watch him have fun but it’s not for long!

9 months is a bloody long time to miss out! Her DH should be more supportive. He might not be pregnant but he’s 50% responsible for the child and should act it!

StormingNorman · 15/06/2024 21:43

SilentSilhouette · 15/06/2024 21:41

YANBU!

But have you actually told him you want him to stop drinking too?

Men can be seriously thick! Tell him he stops drinking every night or he can leave!

It's really insensitive of him!

Bit quick to jump to LTB over a couple of drinks.

StormingNorman · 15/06/2024 21:43

You have FOMO. He’s not pregnant so doesn’t need to give up drinking. I get that it’s hard for you to give up and watch him have fun but it’s not for long!

chillidoritto · 15/06/2024 21:42

I understand completely. I missed drinking. A lot.

Once you've delivered, make sure he is always the designated driver - to make up for the 9 months you missed out!!!

SilentSilhouette · 15/06/2024 21:41

YANBU!

But have you actually told him you want him to stop drinking too?

Men can be seriously thick! Tell him he stops drinking every night or he can leave!

It's really insensitive of him!

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