Driving on motorways

If you've done the Manchester ring road and survived you can survive anywhere!

Give me the M25 any day of the week.

My elderly mother (who has never driven) often has a wobble when I tell her I’m going on a journey. I just laugh and tell her I’ve been driving over 30 years. I don’t have any angst about it and start booking advanced driving lessons. She’s talking shit and you’re a grown adult, why do you care so much about what she says?

Don’t let her ruin your confidence. She’s probably controlling over loads of things so do not take this to heart. You passed your test and you said yourself you’re a careful driver.
You’re planning a fun day out with your kids. Maybe she’s jealous she wasn’t invited and is lashing out. Ignore her.

You're fine OP.

My MIL is adamant that she is safer barreling her little bean can of a car round tiny country roads full of blind bends, rather than using dual carriageways and motorways, no matter how much evidence you show her to the contrary.

30+ years ago I did a 1 week intensive driving course and the following week was sent to drive down the motorway to another city 2.5 hours away by work. And that was in the days when you did not get motorway driving instruction! Your mother is bonkers.

This is one of those moments where if you pause you can have a tweak of the whole relationship. If she shouts you hang up or leave, if she is rude you tell her to stop and walk away if she doesn’t. Don’t lie to her. Tell her you drove to Scotland - enforce the boundaries that you want.

She can’t influence your children if you are the adult - silly grandma, she feels a bit worried about her driving…isn’t it sad she doesn’t want to get out there snd have fun. What music are we listening to… But you have to have the confidence in yourself that you want your children to trust and grow into themselves.

I bet she has always been such hard work:(

If you want a bit more practice... im not sure which direction you drive from but I drive m62 and join m18 for work. You could have a drive down there. The slips roads become the lanes. I'm bad with direction ie north/south but from goole way becomes lane 2/3 and other becomes lane 1/join lane 2. This would be a different type of slip road to practice

Your thread just reminded me exactly why I went NC with my mother, and how much happier my life is without her in it!

Put her on a strict information diet.

You are an adult and I presume generally responsible. Sometimes you don't need to tell your mother everything. In fact tell her nothing until she gets the message. I presume you don't live in the same house as her.

Ignore her.
I passed my test that same day I was on the motorway after picking up my 1st car. 1.5hr drive back

Pass plus is supposed to be good and I believe some insurers give discounts to those who sit it.

I'd suggest that if your mum offers to pay then sit it. Does no harm. Prices to her you're safe. Don't see a downside apart from having to get childcare for however long it is.

Just ignore her.

Your mum is ridiculous
I let my 17 year old drive 5 hours away on motorways 3 months after passing his motorbike test!

I was only saying the other day (no idea actual statistics) that I feel way safer and like everyone else is taking the road seriously on a motorway. Driving in inner city areas is the thing that’s taking yours and others lives in your hands, IME. After completely uneventful hours on the motorway the other day, then coming into London I was having to adjust myself to everyones terrible aggressive driving, pedestrians just blithely crossing everywhere, dogs and kids etc even though I was at 20/30. Anyway, I’d be pissed off being infantilised and having it assumed I’d risk my children in any way. I feel like my mum does this type of thing as she herself is terrified of everything and does very little in life.

@anon3738

plant the 'Don't be so fucking ridiculous' seed & let it flourish!! Give her plenty of the blooms!

Don't let her undermine your confidence. If she's already made you wobble, if you can afford it, just book a motorway lesson with a normal instructor!

Have a great time with your kids!!

Tell her you've booked the pass plus and tell her less in the future. Unfortunately I could only have a very superficial relationship with my Mother. On the plus side when she died, I didn't lose an emotional support source.

She is being ridiculous. Is she an anxious driver or a crap driver? Or even better maybe she doesn't drive at all. She is not remotely qualified to determine if it's safe for you to drive on the motorway.

I'm assuming she has form for trying to infantilise you and put you down. I would have nothing to do with her if she's going to shout and scream like that.

Severely limit what you tell her about your life, she will find something to pick at and criticise so don't give her any fuel.

Sounds like your DM needs to chill a bit!

For a similar price to Pass Plus, I would recommend a day out with 'Reg Local' a former advanced police driving instructor. He's based in the Bolton area. When I bought my first fast car, I did a day with him, and learned a lot - about being a faster, safer, and smoother road driver - better able to judge appropriate speeds for corners, better anticipation , etc.

He has a YouTube channel under the same name, which has lots of useful driver improvement videos which are (obviously) free.

Here's his Motorway driving video:

OP my dad is the same. He's suffers badly from anxiety and always thinks of the worst possible outcome. I've had to go low contact as it really affects me.

Of course YANBU about the driving. Obviously.

But YABU to pander to your mother by listening to her. She sounds completely unhinged so just put the phone down on her, ignore her, stop telling her your plans, reduce contact with her to an absolute bear min& get on with your life.

I understood that the motorway is the safest place to drive.

(Unless it's a 'Smart Motorway') 😱

Driving on motorways is easy and they are the safest roads. If you drive on dual carriageways a lot I don't understand the issue.

Your mum is a nutter. NC all the way.

The DVLA consider you safe to drive, so 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️