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Original poster

People not giving an expected time of arrival

44 replies

ZingyCyanDog · 15/06/2024 15:30

My mum is coming to my house and she's always invasive about arrival time.

I asked her yesterday and she said she didn't know. Today I messaged her (around 1.45pm) asking if she had left yet. She said "not long left" but it turns out she's 1/3 of the way through the journey (they are retired and stop alot for drinks/toilet/food). It's a 2.15 min journey without stops.

Aibu for thinking it's a bit rude to not say "leaving now" when you've left or give some sort of indication on yh time. Eg "will prob be there around 6pm".

There is a back story, won't divulge too much as it's really outing.

OP posts:
Original poster
ZingyCyanDog · 15/06/2024 16:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Nah it's fine. I'm dyslexic and love it then these mistakes are pointed out, helps me to learn

OP posts:
Original poster
ZingyCyanDog · 15/06/2024 16:17

User284732 · 15/06/2024 16:10

My MIL always says 'after tea' which drives me mad as that can mean anytime between 4:30-10pm surely?!

Anything before 6pm is kinda afternoon in my eyes and after 7pm would be "dinner/tea" time lol

OP posts:
Original poster
ZingyCyanDog · 15/06/2024 16:13

bilbodog · 15/06/2024 15:35

Just tell your mother you need to know when shes left home so you then have an idea when she might arrive - if shes reluctant to tell you explain that you have to go out so need to know what time shes arriving. If she still wont tell you then go out and leave her standing on the doorstep for an hour or so - maybe she will get the message then!

She literally wouldn't care.

It's some sort of weirdness where she won't tell me when she's coming.

OP posts:
User284732 · 15/06/2024 16:10

My MIL always says 'after tea' which drives me mad as that can mean anytime between 4:30-10pm surely?!

FuzzyStripes · 15/06/2024 16:09

I think the next time this happens you should say to her that you will be in until 4pm so lovely to see her but understand if it’s not convenient. Then make sure you go out.

Original poster
ZingyCyanDog · 15/06/2024 16:08

Wizardcalledoz · 15/06/2024 15:40

My in laws used to do this and as dh would be at work on the day they said they were coming, I was the one expected to hang around waiting for them. One time I went to do the food shop and they rang me to tell me I was rude for not being there to greet them. After that I made a point of not being there when they turned up, and told dh why. He had a word and they now give us a general idea. Still boils my piss - big back story, of course!

God wtf.

My parents wouldn't do that, opposite end but still annoying..

OP posts:
Original poster
ZingyCyanDog · 15/06/2024 16:07

PedantScorner · 15/06/2024 15:45

They should give you an approximate time so that you can plan your day and to know if they will need food when they arrive.

@Notthisshitforthehundredthtime , I was commenting because the word invasive seemed like an amusing Freudian slip.

Haha yes but more because I'm dyslexic :(

OP posts:
Original poster
ZingyCyanDog · 15/06/2024 16:07

fancysleep · 15/06/2024 15:40

Well get that back

Show quote history

I'm fine with them having a key

OP posts:
Original poster
ZingyCyanDog · 15/06/2024 16:05

kitsuneghost · 15/06/2024 15:42

I assumed she always arrived when OP was in a compromising position. She needs notice to get her clothes back on.

Show quote history

Lol I wish!

Nah I just need a nap

OP posts:
PedantScorner · 15/06/2024 15:45

They should give you an approximate time so that you can plan your day and to know if they will need food when they arrive.

@Notthisshitforthehundredthtime , I was commenting because the word invasive seemed like an amusing Freudian slip.

kitsuneghost · 15/06/2024 15:42

PedantScorner · 15/06/2024 15:32

she's always invasive about arrival time Grin
I think you meant evasive.

I assumed she always arrived when OP was in a compromising position. She needs notice to get her clothes back on.

Notthisshitforthehundredthtime · 15/06/2024 15:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

fancysleep · 15/06/2024 15:40

ZingyCyanDog · 15/06/2024 15:39

Just to be clear they have a key

Well get that back

Wizardcalledoz · 15/06/2024 15:40

My in laws used to do this and as dh would be at work on the day they said they were coming, I was the one expected to hang around waiting for them. One time I went to do the food shop and they rang me to tell me I was rude for not being there to greet them. After that I made a point of not being there when they turned up, and told dh why. He had a word and they now give us a general idea. Still boils my piss - big back story, of course!

Original poster
ZingyCyanDog · 15/06/2024 15:39

Just to be clear they have a key

OP posts:
bilbodog · 15/06/2024 15:35

Just tell your mother you need to know when shes left home so you then have an idea when she might arrive - if shes reluctant to tell you explain that you have to go out so need to know what time shes arriving. If she still wont tell you then go out and leave her standing on the doorstep for an hour or so - maybe she will get the message then!

BloodyAdultDC · 15/06/2024 15:33

Just bloody rude op. Your time is of no value or importance to them - even if you have no time-sensitive plans it's the whole of your day fucked up because they can't be arsed making a commitment.

PedantScorner · 15/06/2024 15:32

she's always invasive about arrival time Grin
I think you meant evasive.

fancysleep · 15/06/2024 15:31

Why don't you ask what time she's setting off/ arriving when you arrange the visit.?