Should two adult children be treated differently re inheritance, because one has children and the other one does not, by choice or not?

Yep I agree with this.

Has to be, to much of a coincidence,they closed off posting just as I was about to post that I had changed my mind and that whilst as a sister I would give something, she shouldn't be entitled to the whole 150k.

The OP should have been honest with the sister when looking at homes that the cost was gonna eat up the rest of the money but then the sister probably would have blocked the home move and OP has a work and home responsibilities so probably didn't want to. Never the less the sister could have moved back to care for the dad and never did. Therefore while I would give her something I'd explain it's because I'm a good sister not because she's owed it.

I think the adult children should be treated the same, but it's quite reasonable for the grandparents to want to leave their grandchildren money directly in addition to whatever they give to their adult children.

So say £20k to each grandchild (regardless of how many and which adult child was their parent) and the remaining estate split between the adult children equally, or even 50% of the estate split between all adult children and 50% of the estate split between all grandchildren would also be fair. On the same vein they may just want to split the estate equally between their adult children and not leave to the grandchildren at all.

Ultimately it's the parent's money and their choice if they leave it to children or grandchildren. But I do think it's fundamentally unfair for the adult children themselves to be left unequal amounts.

Assuming all factors are equal, the most fair way is to divide the estate by the direct descendents. If money is left for grandchildren, then an equal amount should be added on to any child free children which brings the split back to equilibrium.

As others have said, it's entirely up to those with the money to leave as to who they leave it to, but they have to accept that anything other than an equal split for direct descendents is unfair.

My brother is childfree by choice. As far as I know my parents are leaving everything 50/50 in their will. However, they are gifting each of their grandchildren an amount towards uni fees (not in their will - as a cash gift). I think this is a fair approach.

I don’t get why inheritance is so complicated- money goes equally to the deceases children- I don’t care if one is more successful financially, one has kids. They should inherit equally.

I think you can't generalise.

I'd generally expect siblings to be treated fairly, but I can see circumstances where it seems reasonable they are treated differently (one sib taking on a family farm, or one sib with a disability or something like that).

I don't think that gc are sub-people, they are separate relations, so I don't see that leaving money to gc means their parent is being treated favourably.

If all things are equal then treat them the same but if the child with grandchildren has been given ‘free’ childcare from their parents maybe the child who is childless should get a bit more.

I was very hurt when my mum said she was going to change her will to give me a third , my brother a third and his two children a third to share - we had a calm discussion and she saw my point of view particularly as they will inherit from me and my DH as no other nephews / nieces

Well done, and what all parents should do who love their kids.
unequal inheritances have caused so many family rifts.

One of my cousins is wealthy, earns 500k plus a yr etc. When his parents died the inheritance was split four ways as the will was equal. Rich cousin gave most of his inheritance back to the other siblings as he doesn’t need it. I know that my aunt and uncle would have hoped for that but would never have considered not doing an equal will.

Why should they? Myself and DH have 6 children between us ... only 5 are in our will!

The 6th had a hell of a lot of making up to do before his names gets added... which includes getting out of prison for sexual offences.

It's our money... we will leave it to who ever we like

I think there are certain circumstances whereby siblings do not get the same amount of inheritance , eg had money before, abuse, alcoholism, drug addiction etc.

No one should judge and its up to the person writing the will to decide who their money goes to.

An inheritance isn't a given right.

I always think adult children should be treated the same in inheritance situations regardless of their circumstances.

What difference does it make if they don’t have dc by choice or not?

Of course, it's a given and shouldn't change on the basis of their life choices.

Treat the same, not all of my siblings or DHs siblings have dc and don’t plan too. I wouldn’t expect to inherit more because I have dc.

In an inheritance I think they should be treated the same but while the person is alive it is up to them how they spend their money and it doesn’t have to be equal. So for example if they spent £100 each on the children’s Christmas presents they don’t have to then get a bigger present for the childless sibling to make the spending up to same amount.

same with something like school fees, if the grandparent wanted to pay for their grandchildren to attend private school thst is up to them. It would be a different scenario if the childrens parents had asked the grandparent for an advance on their inheritance and the money was lent on thst basis

I always think child free by choice is a funny one in these circumstances. What's the difference wrt inheritance?

If you aren't the poster writing about the private school fees...

I think that in normal circumstances only the children should inherit - and equally - from the parents. If people want to leave their grandchildren something then it should be a token figure, depending on what's being left to the children.

They should be treated equally.

Also, I was on another thread yesterday with a similar question. Several posters pointed out that sometimes people say they're childfree by choice when in fact it wasn't a choice but was too painful to tell others, so they pretend it was a choice.

The same.

The adult children should be treated the same, but if the rand children inherit that is separate from their parents and nothing to do with the adult children’s inheritance. So if there’s £200k estate, and the adult children get £50k each, and the two grandchildren get £50k each, that’s fair.

I agree

The adult children should be treated the same. A small bequest to grandchildren is fine but not at the expense of the childless adult.

So for example a nominal £5000 to each grandchild and the rest 50/50 to the adults.