Page 6 | Should two adult children be treated differently re inheritance, because one has children and the other one does not, by choice or not?

fungipie · 2024-06-15T13:13:11+00:00

I would argue that they should both be treated the same.

Skyrainlight · 15/06/2024 17:06

They should be treated the same.

WestwardHo1 · 15/06/2024 17:05

S0livagant · 15/06/2024 16:54

It doesn't work just dividing between children either. £200k, divided between two. One child has one of the grandchildren and the other has five. If the children are able to pass the money down to the grandchildren then five children will inherit £20k and their cousin £100k.

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That's just how it is surely?

PrimaDoner · 15/06/2024 17:05

S0livagant · 15/06/2024 17:00

It's the five grandchildren getting the consequence, they weren't the ones who chose the family size. I think some money directly to grandchildren helps equalise things, though there's no perfect way. That's why it's up to the person to decide.

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But out of those 5 grandchildren maybe only 1 produces a great grandchild.

The only child cousin has 9 offspring.

The great grandchildren are ’getting the consequence’. Where does it end?

WestwardHo1 · 15/06/2024 17:04

They should be treated the same. A lot of people say they are childfree by choice when they might not be, and this would add even more hurt. But even so, it should be equal. I would expect my sister to provide for her own children from her own windfall (and they will also be getting substantial amounts from their other grandparents). We are very open about the subject and I know my mum and sister feel the same.

theowlwhisperer · 15/06/2024 17:00

Misleading title

The thread you are referring to was not about treating children differently in the first place.

S0livagant · 15/06/2024 17:00

PrimaDoner · 15/06/2024 16:56

That’s fair. If you have 5 children it’s a natural consequence that whatever resources you have are going to be distributed more thinly.

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It's the five grandchildren getting the consequence, they weren't the ones who chose the family size. I think some money directly to grandchildren helps equalise things, though there's no perfect way. That's why it's up to the person to decide.

forthestory · 15/06/2024 16:58

TribeofFfive · 15/06/2024 14:17

Is this you with the thread about 3 kids in private school again?

I was wondering this.

PrimaDoner · 15/06/2024 16:56

S0livagant · 15/06/2024 16:54

It doesn't work just dividing between children either. £200k, divided between two. One child has one of the grandchildren and the other has five. If the children are able to pass the money down to the grandchildren then five children will inherit £20k and their cousin £100k.

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That’s fair. If you have 5 children it’s a natural consequence that whatever resources you have are going to be distributed more thinly.

PrimaDoner · 15/06/2024 16:54

Runningupthecurtains · 15/06/2024 16:46

And if there is another grand child born the year after the grandparent dies? It it fair on them that their siblings/cousins have uni paid for/house deposit available and they don't?

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It is what it is babes x

S0livagant · 15/06/2024 16:54

Runningupthecurtains · 15/06/2024 16:46

And if there is another grand child born the year after the grandparent dies? It it fair on them that their siblings/cousins have uni paid for/house deposit available and they don't?

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It doesn't work just dividing between children either. £200k, divided between two. One child has one of the grandchildren and the other has five. If the children are able to pass the money down to the grandchildren then five children will inherit £20k and their cousin £100k.

Runningupthecurtains · 15/06/2024 16:46

S0livagant · 15/06/2024 16:30

They both get the same so it's fair. The grandchildren could be adults and the money could be a huge help.

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And if there is another grand child born the year after the grandparent dies? It it fair on them that their siblings/cousins have uni paid for/house deposit available and they don't?

BarbedButterfly · 15/06/2024 16:44

Treated the same and sibling with children can gift to children as they wish

PrimaDoner · 15/06/2024 16:41

I’d say the same

TootGoesTheOwl · 15/06/2024 16:41

Liverpool52 · 15/06/2024 16:15

My brother has been vocal that he thinks he should get more than me because he has children and I don't. Not just inheritance either - things like demanding the piano that I had learnt to play on that my parents were keeping until I had a house big enough to have it because his daughter was learning and it should go to a grandchild. He'd never touched the thing.

My parents are resisting but he's making their life difficult and I've told them not to worry about it because I earn well and will have a good pension (he won't becauseof poor life choices). I'd rather they save themselves the stress but they are adament they will be fair.

Your brother sounds like an awful, grasping, greedy human being!
I am petty so I would fight tooth and nail for that piano (or smash it up before he got his hands on it!).
I understand you don't want to give your parents any stress and think that is very noble of you, your brother in the other hand is pond life.

LostSightOfLife · 15/06/2024 16:35

There is no should or shouldn’t about it. The person can leave their money to whoever they wish. This obsession with inheritances on here is in very poor taste. I’d leave everything to the local dog shelter if I had some of you for family.

Original poster

fungipie · 15/06/2024 16:33

RenovationNightmare · 15/06/2024 15:53

Those were my thoughts!

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As said above, no, not me. I was annoyed that comments on the other thread were closed, so decided to ask for opinions.

OP posts:

HcbSS · 15/06/2024 16:33

It should not depend on whether or not they have procreated but on numerous factors. Who needs the money more? Did one help the elderly parent more to stay independent at the detriment of their own career and life while the other swanned about on holiday/at work/living their life?

Herewegoagainandagainandagain · 15/06/2024 16:31

In my humble opinion

Giving equally to your dc is fair.

Giving to your dgc individually, to be received when they are adults (not to pay their parent bills/school fees), then your own dc equally is fair.

Paying dgc's school fees to the tune of £300k for one of your dc leaving the other with absolutely no inheritance is not fair.

S0livagant · 15/06/2024 16:30

WiseKhakiGoose · 15/06/2024 16:19

That's totally unfair, it leaves the adult child only with 50k instead of 100k!

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They both get the same so it's fair. The grandchildren could be adults and the money could be a huge help.

Zeeze · 15/06/2024 16:30

Generally equal shares is fair but I know of people who have given their disadvantaged child a larger share because they need it more.

Two important things: First, no one has a ‘right’ to an inheritance and secondly the person making the will should be upfront about its contents to all potential beneficiaries.

S0livagant · 15/06/2024 16:28

Both the same, with money also directly to each grandchild if the person wishes.

Scrumbleton · 15/06/2024 16:26

3 siblings in our family - two with kids one without. We were all left the same but the grandkids were all left money seperately.

Candleabra · 15/06/2024 16:25

Why should having a child make you more worthy of inheriting from your own parents?

Inheritance should drop to the next generation. So equally split between two children. Unless one of the children has died, then their share passes to the children of that child.
Anything more than token amounts to any grandchild is unfair (if the adult children are still alive). They can wait their turn or be gifted an amount from the inheritance from their own parent.

WiseKhakiGoose · 15/06/2024 16:21

daliesque · 15/06/2024 16:15

When someone dies, or before, when they are talking about their will, how it is divided up is more than money, it is a representation of your parents love for you. People who don't see that are dense.
To be told that you will not receive anything or receive less because you don't have children for whatever reason, is reinforcing the message that those of us who made the decision not to have children/couldn't hear on a regular basis - friends, family, wider society - that our lives and choices are less important than our children siblings and that we are valued less.

It hurts.

I totally agree with you 👍👏

WiseKhakiGoose · 15/06/2024 16:19

Overthebow · 15/06/2024 14:22

The adult children should be treated the same, but if the rand children inherit that is separate from their parents and nothing to do with the adult children’s inheritance. So if there’s £200k estate, and the adult children get £50k each, and the two grandchildren get £50k each, that’s fair.

That's totally unfair, it leaves the adult child only with 50k instead of 100k!