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AIBU?

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Original poster

Fil smacked me on the bottom

55 replies

UsernameRandomA1 · 15/06/2024 06:43

Fil (it's dh step dad) offered to help decorate our living room. So I said yes since dh has dyspraxia and can't really help. When I was climbing up the ladder Fil smacked / spanked me on the bottom. I just froze for a second as I was speechless and then just carried on. I didn't say anything because I was shocked and am too socially anxious to say anything.

i told dh, and he didn't say much other than if it happens again he will say something.

AIBU to be annoyed and think it's a violation of my personal space, and very inappropriate of Fil?

OP posts:
Lofoton · 15/06/2024 06:59

It sounds like a random impulse which he really should have controlled rather than a determination to undermine and upset you in the moment. BUT to have that impulse in the first place shows him up as buying in to misogynistic crap, and the failure to control it shows a disregard towards you I would be very upset by.

It's easy to give all the things you could and should have said at the time but a)it's so hard to stick up for yourself especially when anxious anyway and b) the responsibility is on him to behave not you to react! So with that in mind, I would be talking to you DH again, telling him you are upset and although you don't want a row you do expect him to talk to his dad about this as you need to know he is.on your side and you want to be able to move on from it.

GabriellaMontez · 15/06/2024 06:54

I understand your shock and why you didn't respond.

He's disgusting and this shouldn't go unmentioned.

One of you should say something. "If you ever do that again, you'll never be invited back " should do it.

Is there previous behaviour you haven't mentioned?

Original poster
UsernameRandomA1 · 15/06/2024 06:51

Know him for years. Nothing like this had happened before so I was really shocked.

OP posts:
Snooglequack · 15/06/2024 06:46

Suggest he goes up the ladder and do the same but with a cricket bat. When he looks confused just explain you thought it was what you do.

Lofoton · 15/06/2024 06:45

Ugh, what a pig.
What is he like usually? How long have you known each other?
Of course it's easy to say from afar or think afterwards, but I'd have had to turn to him and ask him if he's taken leave of his senses (or more realistically, what the fuck was that for!?).

And in true mn spirit but I mean it, you also have a DH problem. He should talk to his dad.

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