DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress

I tend to agree it probably looked better in person. My guess is that without the camera lights shining on it, it was less see-through and the ‘bobbles’ (which I think someone said were sequins?) made it less transparent as well.

I'm intrigued by that look getting so much attention and now, having thought about it, I think it probably looked great in real life. The photograph wouldn't capture the beauty of the movement in it.

What does everyone think of her black cutout dress? I like it a lot. I also like what she's sharing about looking to future. I must admit - I'm not based in the UK - I didn't know who she was previously.

OP I'm sure you're long gone and don't care what I - some same age (but also body confident) randomer on the web - thinks but I reckon we need more women of our age making statements. I still don't think a school ball is quite the right place but I don't move in those circles so I'm not qualified to comment on that. I hope if you wore something bold like that to a different environment your husband would be thrilled and not calling you sad.

It’s like trying to give advice to Katie Price. No Katie, two ridiculous plastic boulders won’t make you look sexy.

The shower curtain look isn’t sexy either.

Sadly, it seems both women are deluded as to what sexy really means. Perhaps it’s sexy-dysmorphia? The the belief that the more over-the-top styling/procedures you choose the sexier you are? 😆

You will neither look nor be sexy in a dress similar to that.

There are plenty of other sexy options out there if that's the desired effect you're looking for.

If you honestly don't give a shit what other women think, why ask? You seem to think everyone posting is jealous of you. Nobody here knows what you look like. Nobody here knows whether you are the sexiest momma in the UK. But people are offering you the benefit of their opinion, which you requested, to try steer you away from a massive faux pas.

Most women who replied have told you how to enhance yourself to look sexy. Is that not empowering? Why do you have to go against all the advice offered, that you asked for, in order to feel empowered.

For the record Anita Rani doesn't look sexy in that photo either. She looks awkward. Maybe it looked sexy in person. It does not look sexy in that photo.

It looks like a nightdress made out of a shower curtain. It would look silly on anyone regardless of age or shape. The woman in the photo doesn't look too confident about it either!

Your OP very much reads as though you were considering wearing a dress like this one.

Personally I don't like the dress and think it's unflattering, even on AR IMO and although OK at a red carpet event but probably inappropriate for a school ball

But you won't be judged for looking good or sexy (even if you do manage to look good in that type of dress which, IMO, no-one does). You'll be judged for dressing inappropriately for the norms of the event and poor judgement. Even if you look smoking, my thought won't be how good you look, it'll be wondering what is wrong with you that you thought that was suitable attire for that kind of event, because everyone knows there are norms around this sort of thing. If you wear something that fits with the norms of the occasion and look great, THEN I might think, "She looks great."

Brilliant!

This!

Well not really: we don’t need to do anything.

People have been asking other people's opinions on "how I look" forever! Some clothes flatter the wearer. Some don't. We ask opinions. OP asked our opinion and the overwhelming opinion is she could find something much much nicer.

If you wanted to wear it, and don't care about all the jealous women who are only envious of you and your body, why ask?

I don't know you. I don't know how fabulous your body is. I'm also 46, and in pretty good shape. I just think that dress, and most like it or not very flattering. I think you could find something far nicer and more classy that shows off your beautiful body and will turn heads if that's what you want to do.

I know, it's all very noble and selfless.

Well you’ll have to smile on, because lots of us do think it’s not fair on the DH and dc to be so embarrassing at a school event, and that any “empowerment” or otherwise she might derive from it comes at the expense of due consideration for others.

And no, one isolated incident of self-interested behaviour is obviously not going to collapse society alone. To suggest that that is needed to validate the broader concept is pure eristicism. The fact is that when vast quantities of members of society behave without regard to others, the fabric of society is weakened. Yet many espouse these views as though it is some kind of enlightened philosophy that champions a breaking free from some kind of box society folds them into.

Is there any particular reason why you feel strongly that you need to feel ‘empowered’ going to a school ball?

I understood the point and said something similar earlier (an A lister on the red carpet is dressing in a completely different context to any ordinary person attending pretty much any other event).

But I'm still smiling at all the people trying to valorise their completely base and standard judgement of a middle aged woman in a revealing dress as being, in fact, a principled stand for altruism and the need to Hold Society Together by Thinking Of Others. C'mon, we all know it's bollocks.

I was the original poster with the “grounded view”. It is not about people’s discomfort with bare flesh. In all honesty, I don’t think the dress is bad because it is revealing, it just looks awful. Yes, it is see through but it is also a terrible cut, awful colour and looks like she is trying too hard. She is a beautiful woman and it is unnecessary.

This thread is not about showing skin but wearing an outfit to stand out. When you are a celebrity you can afford “any” attention but when you are a mum of children at school negative attention will create a problem.

I understood the point, and my response stands.

So why ask for opinions?

Wear it if you like.

Just don't be surprised if you get raised eyebrows and comments behind the hand as to the inappropriate if the dress for the event.

I think the poster’s point was that the impact on DH and DCs is a valid reason to not wear exactly what she chooses.

Having concern for other’s views and feelings gets ridiculed these days but it is one of the strengthening ties that holds society together.

Well as a concept this is pretty indisputable, but it's still sort of funny to see it jumped on to valorise people's discomfort and judgement about a revealing dress. Altruistic concern for others isn't what's actually bothering anyone and the dress, as silly as it is, isn't going to collapse society.

I’m so pleased to hear this grounded view in a world of “ why should I be accountable to anyone else?” Having concern for other’s views and feelings gets ridiculed these days but it is one of the strengthening ties that holds society together. I think it’s only when “Me philosophy“ had been allowed to wreak havoc that the trend will backtrack.

What matters to me is how my child’s life is affected by my decisions.

If I decide tomorrow to walk to school dressed as a chicken, I will be ridiculed. If I go to my child’s ball dressed in an outfit designed to create attention, I will be ridiculed. I know I will be ridiculed and in all honesty, I wouldn’t care. I wouldn’t care because I am entirely secure in my own skin. However, I wouldn’t dream of doing either because of the backlash my children would feel. Life isn’t just about you. If you want a happy, content life, you have to consider the people in it and how your actions affect them too.

Oh dear, must have really meant it as I posted it twice 🤣

Had to google who that is. I don’t think you were being flattering. Oh well, feel free to give more weight and power to other people’s thoughts and views