DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress

Agreed.
Also different clothes have different messages. Casual flip flops and t shirts, while arguably equally inappropriate, don’t convey the same message or intent or need or whatever as a spangly underwear net curtains dress and it’s disingenuous to think the two are the same. I’m interested to know why anyone would feel empowered in an Anita Rani type dress unless you’re feeling empowered by your body conforming to a rather patriarchal stereotype of attractiveness and you want the other parents in a formal social situation to look at it. There’s a time and a place, surely, if that’s your thing?

Yes there would. Especially if DH was the OP and kept saying his DW was not happy, and asking if the only way to be able to wear what he wanted was to get divorced!

He'd probably be told: yes, divorce her. She deserves better.

I think a lot of the comments on this thread are missing the point that it’s a school ball. Not just any ball where OP can wear what she wants and the hell with it if her DH doesn’t like it. I’m all for that, a woman should be able to wear what she wants and feel good in it. I’d never let DH’s opinion stop me wearing something. But I would give some consideration to my DS and DD’s feelings if I was going to prance up to their school effectively naked. You can guarantee there will be photos of the ball, so it won’t just be a rumour. All OP’s DC’s friends are likely to see pictures and perhaps have access to them to share on social media. The DCs would have every reason to be angry if it led to them being bullied/teased for what OP had chosen to wear.

I thought this update from OP made it clear that was indeed what she was aiming for.

Some men like a woman who struts around with not a lot on and think she looks good

Happy to accept I have misunderstood her though.

Absolutely.

And if this thread were a man declaring he wanted to wear it to a school function despite his wife saying she had huge reservations, I’m sure equal numbers of people would say “ think about how this speedo ensemble is going to make your wife and dcs feel.” Actually I think there might be more saying that, because some people just get mindlessly antsy at anything they can twist into misogyny 🙄

Agree- this was a reaction to some posters' assertion that this must be what men think looking at her.

Daniel Craig getting out of the sea in his speedos in Casino Royale was very sexy! Also Colin Firth in the wet shirt in Pride & Prejudice. It's not that men's bodies aren't sexy, but we're never going to see them in equal numbers on the red carpet in a wet look see through shirt or a speedo the way we see women nearly naked at those events because it isn't empowering and it's not what someone powerful does. It's not that they aren't sexy, it's that the world doesn't expect or demand it of them in the same way.

No man has ever walked the red carpet in flip flops and Speedo’s, it’s not sexy nor does it make a fashion statement.

@NonPlayerCharacter I don't know that you're right about that.

There was a thread on the less busy S&B forum one day titled something like "I refuse to wear heels" but then the post itself was actually about the woman's intention to attend her friends' wedding in a dress and biker boots. She got a response which was not a million miles from the one on this thread with posters asking her why she needed to make a statement, that it was inappropriate, that the day wasnt about her etc.

There would equally be similar consequences if her husband decided to rock up in a pair of Speedos and flip-flops.

There absolutely would not be 33 pages of moralistic talk of holding society together and consequences if she wears that and consideration of others though - that's my point. People are pretending that their reaction to a woman's revealing dress is no different to their reaction to someone dressed inappropriately casually, and it isn't.

You missed a trick there, you should have worn it wet.

If I were the Husband I would show up in a sheer tuxedo, that would be fair game and If she doesn't like it I'll divorce her.

There would equally be similar consequences if her husband decided to rock up in a pair of Speedos and flip-flops. She might decide not to attend with him. Other guests might snigger. He might be denied entry to the event. His children might be mortified if photos of him were circulated.

Let's not try turn this into something it's not. The dress is inappropriate for a formal school ball.

You know perfectly well the context of that statement.

Yes, a woman in a revealing dress. That's what all this is about, and we have actually had people talk about holding society together and being considerate of others and a whole load of other nonsense to valorise and puff up what is merely an objection to a woman's dress. As there has been since the dawn of time. And ominous talk of consequences if she wears that.

It might be a hideous dress, but it's nothing more than that. If it's not in line with the dress code then she'll be denied entry. Same as if she wore jeans, and yet I don't think there'd be talk of society and consequences if she was wearing denim.

@financialcareerstuff I'm not actually sure men would be looking and wanting to fuck the person.

Maybe it's not the OP's intention to have men wanting to fuck her?

Yeahhh agree it's not that you shouldn't look sexy- for me, anyway. It's just that dress isn't sexy or beautiful, it's just weird, that's where the idea that it's attention seeking comes from. Sexy is seeing something but not everything - but in this instance, you see every tiny bit of her legs - takes away all mystery and allure. And the cut of the undergarment isn't sexy or attractive at all. I'm not actually sure men would be looking and wanting to fuck the person. I'm bi and not in the least bit turned on or intrigued by that. The fact that it's not flattering or sexy, is actually, for me, what makes it attention seeking. I have no problem with someone looking sexy, but just looking unconventional so everybody needs to stare at you to check they saw it right, feels a bit embarrassing for the wearer.

I infinitely prefer the red dress you posted. Now that would be rocking it at a school ball!
I also far prefer sheer dresses that are more interesting- with some opaque parts/swirls, with a less square cut etc.... those rock.

Women are to blame for the consequences of what they wear? Careful with that one...

You know perfectly well the context of that statement. Consequences being - her DH might not want to attend with her. Other parents/teachers might not take her seriously. Her children might be teased. I'm sure there will be photos of this glamorous ball. She may be turned away at the front door for not adhering to the dress code of the evening.

Or everyone might slap her on the back and tell her how sexy and empowering she is 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m not sure MN sounds at all like a bunch of nuns. Sometimes I wonder if a bunch of nuns might be more pleasant.

There would definitely be less coarse language …

Selfridges stocked something similar and I was going to wear it to Prize Giving but it sold out of my size so I wore a long T shirt dress instead.

Pinterest. That type of pattern was popular in 2021 and 2022.

I was thinking that. I don't think she'd have worn it to a school event either but for the red carpet it really is exactly what you expect, even if not everyone likes it. In fact I've seen lots of red carpet dresses that were way more revealing than that...pretty sure we all have.

As much as I’m for the OP to flaunt her curves and enjoy her life I do agree with you that a school cocktail party is not the red carpet. I highly doubt the British Indian actress would have shown up at her kids school party with that dress.

Anyway I doubt Anita Rani would have worn that dress to her children’s school. At least she was occasion appropriate (even though I didn’t think the photo did her any favours).