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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress

905 replies

DontShow · 15/06/2024 06:39

Going to a ball soon, and I want to wear something lovely, also fashionable.

I was looking at more transparent dresses, as they seem to be in and I definitely have the figure for this. I am 46.

DH said it's all inappropriate. He's never really been fussy about me looking sexy before, he has always liked me to look classy, I call it Princess of Wales style.

So I said, what about Anita Rani, she is my age and looked amazing. "Let's see" he said, "I have always thought she is beautiful". So he looks at the photo for a while, says nothing about her, but says I should not wear something like that as it would be sad.

So, AIBU, or do you need a divorce like Anita to wear what you want at 46?
She has credited her divorce as the catalyst for wearing this, and I think she looks amazing frankly!

DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress
OP posts:
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43
sixtyandsomething · 15/06/2024 08:18

vincettenoir · 15/06/2024 07:53

She’s a beautiful woman and looks great but I don’t think much of the dress.

how do you know she is a beautiful woman . you can't see her face. The most you can say is she wears beautiful make up, if you like that sort of thing. I don't . I think it looks like shit. And I object to this cultural expectation for women to cover their faces in it

BlowDryRat · 15/06/2024 08:17

Anita Rani's dress is red carpet attire, not a ball gown. Wearing that dress to a ball would be inappropriate and TBH I would refuse to go with you if you insisted on wearing it. You're entitled to go wearing whatever you like but let's not pretend whoever goes with you isn't going to be affected by it.

KimberleyClark · 15/06/2024 08:17

user09876543 · 15/06/2024 08:13

I suspect this is a parents only fund raiser.

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What if a pupil hears a parent say “Dontshow looked bloody ridiculous at the ball last night in that see through dress and it gets round the other children?

KimberleyClark · 15/06/2024 08:14

geoger · 15/06/2024 07:59

Anita dress is rather unflattering and looks cheap and tacky. Just because you have the figure for it doesn’t mean it looks good.
If you really want to do sheer then maybe pick a dress with sheer panelling.

I don’t think that is appropriate for this kind of ball either. It’s a red carpet dress not a ball gown.

user09876543 · 15/06/2024 08:13

mitogoshi · 15/06/2024 08:10

At school balls the kids where the glamorous outfits, the parents sink into the background, I wore full length navy but fairly plain and certainly nothing too revealing, all the other mums were similarly dressed and the few that wore low cut stood out. Also note most the parents didn't dance, I did and it was oh so embarrassing for dd at first but her friends thought we were cool (also much younger than many parents who must have been nearly 20 years my senior)

I suspect this is a parents only fund raiser.

BitOutOfPractice · 15/06/2024 08:13

I literally cannot work the op out. The replies are, well, odd.

user09876543 · 15/06/2024 08:12

I’m still not convinced this isn’t a joke but there are loads and loads of sequinned dresses on thick flesh coloured fabric. Literally dozens of women at your function are likely to be wearing one. Just don’t pick one where you can actually see your undies.

Catsmere · 15/06/2024 08:11

Someone designed that dress?

OP, as everyone has said, it would be cheap and tacky attention-seeking anywhere, but at a school ball you'll humiliate your children as well. Don't be That Parent.

Snooglequack · 15/06/2024 08:11

How do you discreetly deal with a wedgie in such a dress?

mitogoshi · 15/06/2024 08:10

At school balls the kids where the glamorous outfits, the parents sink into the background, I wore full length navy but fairly plain and certainly nothing too revealing, all the other mums were similarly dressed and the few that wore low cut stood out. Also note most the parents didn't dance, I did and it was oh so embarrassing for dd at first but her friends thought we were cool (also much younger than many parents who must have been nearly 20 years my senior)

PCcrisps · 15/06/2024 08:08

user09876543 · 15/06/2024 08:06

“Ball” just means expensive ticket, sit down meal and entertainment/band

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Yes it's just a 1970s dinner dance. Not a Bridgerton ball!

WavingTree · 15/06/2024 08:08

You cannot wear that to a school ball if you have DC at the school. They’d be mortified and everyone will take the piss. You’re not on Love Island.

greengreyblue · 15/06/2024 08:07

It’s not a good look. I like Anita’s style but this would be so much better if it wasn’t transparent.

KimberleyClark · 15/06/2024 08:07

Hallamlass · 15/06/2024 06:51

the ho Anita Rani
That's a bit mean.

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Why on earth are you responding the poster’s un edited thread that has a typo? That’s a bit mean.

Copperoliverbear · 15/06/2024 08:07

Even her own face looks like she's saying WTF have I got on.

user09876543 · 15/06/2024 08:06

user09876543 · 15/06/2024 08:05

They are generally charity fund raisers for bursaries etc.

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“Ball” just means expensive ticket, sit down meal and entertainment/band

MrsToothyBitch · 15/06/2024 08:06

I've never seen a single transparent dress that I didn't think looked fundamentally cheap, nasty and tacky. The one the very attractive Anita Rani is wearing is no exception. Even the £££ ones look bad , crude and pointless. I certainly wouldn't wear one to a private school ball. I wouldn't have worn one as a pupil - when I certainly had the body for it- or now as an alumnus in my 30s. I go to white tie balls now sometimes including a big society one every so often. There's a dress code. Even if you technically got round the restrictions and they actually let you in looking like that, you'd be so out of place, quite honestly.

I also wouldn't wear that pink sugar plum fairy number linked upthread either. It looks a bit naff and despite the initial price tag the look of the fabric suggests it would very cheap irl. It's not particularly elegant.

mitogoshi · 15/06/2024 08:05

Quite frankly what she wore looked desperate. The only place semi transparent clothing is appropriate is at the beach and I'm not a fan then, anywhere else it's attention seeking

user09876543 · 15/06/2024 08:05

TheaBrandt · 15/06/2024 08:04

Slightly agog at the ideal of a private school ball for parents?! Is that even a thing? How weird!

They are generally charity fund raisers for bursaries etc.

TheaBrandt · 15/06/2024 08:04

Slightly agog at the ideal of a private school ball for parents?! Is that even a thing? How weird!

fancysleep · 15/06/2024 08:02

Anita is a very beautiful and clever woman but thar dress would look a bit silly on anyone

behindthemall · 15/06/2024 08:02

My job involves lots of balls and socialising with the ultra wealthy.

Sheer dresses like that are not in, and would be considered inappropriate. It’s not even nice.

Your DH is right, but you can wear whatever you want…

ZoomDoomZoom · 15/06/2024 08:01

It's a trashy look and nit appropriate for a school ball, it screams 'I'm 40 and desperate for a shag' if that's the vibe you want to go for then fine. It's a bit try hard and desperate.

Copperoliverbear · 15/06/2024 08:00

I understand that you feel that you should not listen to husband and wear what you want and we should applauded that, but if we did that in this case we would not be showing true female solidarity because you would look awful dressed like that at a ball not classy At all and none of us told you, just to get one over on your husband.