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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress

905 replies

DontShow · 15/06/2024 06:39

Going to a ball soon, and I want to wear something lovely, also fashionable.

I was looking at more transparent dresses, as they seem to be in and I definitely have the figure for this. I am 46.

DH said it's all inappropriate. He's never really been fussy about me looking sexy before, he has always liked me to look classy, I call it Princess of Wales style.

So I said, what about Anita Rani, she is my age and looked amazing. "Let's see" he said, "I have always thought she is beautiful". So he looks at the photo for a while, says nothing about her, but says I should not wear something like that as it would be sad.

So, AIBU, or do you need a divorce like Anita to wear what you want at 46?
She has credited her divorce as the catalyst for wearing this, and I think she looks amazing frankly!

DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress
OP posts:
Thread gallery
43
WmFnKdSg1234 · 15/06/2024 11:09

This thread has given me quite a laugh this morning.

OP, seriously no. You'd be a laughing stock, remembered for years to come.

Lolapusht · 15/06/2024 11:06

PadstowGirl · 15/06/2024 11:02

That beige colour is awful, it makes her look like a maggot.

I literally just did this…

Spit Take GIF
BusyMummy001 · 15/06/2024 11:03

I agree with PPs above - it’s a ‘look at meeeeeee’ statement piece. Doesn’t work if you are the korean mother of the bride (see another thread on this) or even when worn by Anita Rani, Carol Vordaman or anyone else because it appears like a desperate, attention seeking act by an aging or narcissistic woman.

Really, you can find some exquisite, sexy dresses that will get you the ‘Wow’ response, compliment your DH’s evening wear and avoid the pitting snickers.

PadstowGirl · 15/06/2024 11:02

That beige colour is awful, it makes her look like a maggot.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 15/06/2024 11:01

You can wear what you like, be prepared to be avoided by most people on the night though and the topic of conversation for a while.
It's not a good look, even on a celebrity. I think it's the colour more than anything -it's just not aesthetically pleasing.

Conniebygaslight · 15/06/2024 10:59

I think it smacks of desperation tbh. It would look like you wanted everyone to see how fabulous you look in a swimsuit. If it’s a school event, you’ll have the other mums’ claws out and this might impact your DC.
You say you have the figure for it and it’s great that you have such self confidence but I think that you’re very naive if you think the other mums’ will see it as ‘Girl Power’
Personally I wouldn’t wear anything that could put my DC in the firing line.
I’m not condoning bitchiness of women but I’ve witnessed it and it’s awful.

CharlotteRumpling · 15/06/2024 10:59

I have seen worse on Florence Pugh. But I agree that it would be inapppropriate for non slebs, particularly at a school balll

Ohnobackagain · 15/06/2024 10:57

@DontShow There are some lovely transparent-ish dresses round, personally I don’t like that one. I might have used the word ‘sad’ too. What @DustyLee123 said 🫣🤣 is spot on.

ll09sm · 15/06/2024 10:55

It looks cheap and tacky.

ActivePeony · 15/06/2024 10:55

OP. Just no.

Blackcats7 · 15/06/2024 10:54

You seriously want to embarrass your children forever more as the mum who turned up showing her underwear? Whether there are children in attendance or not I think the sight of you dressed as a desperate twenty year old would soon reach their ears one way or another due to the hilarity it will provoke irrespective of your personal opinion on your figure.
And for future information showing your knickers is not a feminist act and “girl power” was purely a stupid slogan promoting the ladettes of the nineties who were just as conditioned by men as we all were.

AnxiousTwitterati · 15/06/2024 10:54

Call me old fashioned (I am) but I don't think you should be showing your underwear at an event at any age. Maybe a beach club abroad I guess.

She looks good but could look so much better in something more appropriate!

BoostBar · 15/06/2024 10:54

its inappropriate for a ball, no matter age or figure. It screams ‘I’m desperate for people to think I’m sexy’.

You’re not a Z list celeb at an awards show. You’re going to a school event, fgs.

Iwasafool · 15/06/2024 10:53

DustyLee123 · 15/06/2024 06:45

Just go in a swimming cossie with an old net curtain over the top. Classy.

Yes that would look just as "good" wouldn't it.

honeylulu · 15/06/2024 10:52

It's awful, it looks like one of those beach cover ups you throw on over a swimsuit to walk to the bar/toilet etc. Not classy for a ball (and I generally like quite "sexy" evening dresses and think age is not an issue if it suits your figure). Will turn heads but not for good reasons.

Not to mention the practicalities- won't all that synthetic fabric right next to your skin make you feel all sweaty and stinky?

KimberleyClark · 15/06/2024 10:52

KimberleyClark · 15/06/2024 10:41

“Girl Poser” would be a lot more empowering if it was about the freedom not to look “sexy”. But it isn’t.

Power not Poser 😳

JL690 · 15/06/2024 10:52

That dress gets a big no from me. I think Anita looks uncomfortable in it.

MaryMack · 15/06/2024 10:50

If you want to look like you've wandered into the buffet hall on a Tui all inclusive holiday, having spent the morning prone on your sunbed smothered in coconut oil, then you've nailed it.

For a private school ball, then it's a no from me. Your DH is right. Wearing a see through dress isn't showing girl power, it's cheap and tacky.

crumblingschools · 15/06/2024 10:42

Just shows money can’t buy class

KimberleyClark · 15/06/2024 10:41

“Girl Poser” would be a lot more empowering if it was about the freedom not to look “sexy”. But it isn’t.

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 15/06/2024 10:40

Is this your first formal event at this school @DontShow ? Might be best to play it safe this time round. If all the mums are there in see through outfits, then you'll know for next year.

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 15/06/2024 10:38

Longma · 15/06/2024 10:30

However - your DH can shove it with having an opinion on how you 'should' look as it's entirely your business and not his

If my dh wanted to go to a ball in a transparent suit with his underwear showing I would definitely have an opinion on it! I wouldn't be happy about it and wouldn't want to attend with him.

Why is it different the other way round?

Because "GIRL POWER!!!", apparently.

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 15/06/2024 10:36

Hallamlass · 15/06/2024 07:06

I agree. I hate "girl power". Plus this is just dressing for the male gaze.
No man is going to say "boy power" and turn up somewhere in a see through suit.

Show quote history

Totally agree with both posters here. It's hilarious that you're even mentioning feminism when discussing wearing something that's arguably designed to highlight to men your sexual desirability.

Longma · 15/06/2024 10:36

mitogoshi · 15/06/2024 08:10

At school balls the kids where the glamorous outfits, the parents sink into the background, I wore full length navy but fairly plain and certainly nothing too revealing, all the other mums were similarly dressed and the few that wore low cut stood out. Also note most the parents didn't dance, I did and it was oh so embarrassing for dd at first but her friends thought we were cool (also much younger than many parents who must have been nearly 20 years my senior)

No children at any of the ones I went to.

Longma · 15/06/2024 10:35

TheaBrandt · 15/06/2024 08:04

Slightly agog at the ideal of a private school ball for parents?! Is that even a thing? How weird!

Not just private school fundraisers.
Plenty of state schools, especially in well heeled areas, have fundraising balls too.

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