DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress

has it not occurred to you that maybe she is dressing like that for herself? And she doesn’t give a fuck what you and any other man thinks?

It would still be very naive if she thought that other people wouldn't think she was wearing inappropriate and attention seeking clothes. She doesn't live in a bubble. It's called being aware of other people's perception of you.

Personally I think it looks tacky regardless of figure, but you do you.

Also, not sure why one needs to be recognised ‘as a woman and not just a mum’ at a school event. You are literally there in that capacity.

If you really think the parents are going to go home and say @DontShow ‘dressed like a woman not a mum’ if she shows up dressed like that, you are being naive. Even if the parents don’t snigger and make comments (they will), by the time the description has been passed around the the 6th form the comments are going to be nasty and it’s the children who will suffer.

People can be very judgemental. Let's not pretend otherwise. And some people having made judgements then extend that to the children. It's not right but we don't live in a world where everything is right.

We live in a world where if someone wears see-through clothing to a school ball, some probably many other parents will judge and some may mock and children may come to hear of it and before you know it the kids arent being invited to play dates and parties and are being teased because mummy didn't wear clothes and everyone saw her knickers.

The reality is that there is what ought to be and there is what is.

This is the latter. And people should always make choices based on being OK with the consequences (fair or unfair) of those choices.

But you don’t have to wear transparent clothing to not look mumsy, surely.

She has indicated, however, that she is not wearing it for herself but to get the admiring glances of ‘the menz’.

@Bobbotgegrinch

” I would think ‘What the fucks she dressed like that for?"

has it not occurred to you that maybe she is dressing like that for herself? And she doesn’t give a fuck what you and any other man thinks?

Am assuming as a man, you’d as readily (perhaps more readily) be admiring the figures of other women who were wearing appropriate - equally sexy/glam - dresses, though? Ie OP doesn’t need to work so hard to attract the male gaze as she thinks she should?

It’s nothing to do with whether your body is good enough or if you have the confidence. It’s about dressing appropriately for a formal occasion. I used to do bikini model competitions (used to weight lift a lot), am still in shape and I still would not wear a dress like that to a ball. A school ball is not a comparable event to a red carpet or catwalk where dresses are always larger than life. It’s up to you, of course. You can wear what you like. But this isn’t a case of a controlling husband telling you can’t go out in a short skirt in case men look. It’s him saying for god’s sake don’t wear a totally unsuitablectransparent dress and embarrass him!

You know kids can be a lot cruder and crueller than that.

@IncompleteSenten

what the “rebound” be? That others see her as a woman and not just as a mum? Shock, horror!

"Her choice. I just hope it doesn’t rebound on her children."

Sadly it probably will. But I hope not.

I'm a man. And yes, I'd probably be secretly admiring your figure if you turned up to some school event dressed like that. But whether I was with my DP, or my friends, I'd also be commenting to them "What the fucks she dressed like that for?" because you'd be dressed like a plonker. It would make you look like you're desperate for attention, and trying to cause a scene.

So yes, if you want men perving at you, then that dress will have the desired effect. But those same men will also be making a mental note that you're utterly insane.

It screams 'look at meeeeeee' and people will, but not for any of the right reasons.

I think that’s exactly the attitude a lot of ‘old money’ types at these schools have. And since the OP apparently doesn’t understand the (not all that secret) code, people have been trying to help her not show herself up (to use my grandmother’s phrase).

She doesn’t want to take the advice - apparently she doesn’t care what people think of her so long as the men think she’s sexy. Her choice. I just hope it doesn’t rebound on her children.

The Jenny Packham dress is gorgeous. I wouldn’t go see through unless something like that dress. The most skin I would have showing is something like this. https://www.selfridges.com/GB/en/product/costarellos-colette-halterneck-metallic-woven-gown_R04335659/#colour=DARK%20BLUE

Anita is a stunning looking woman, but she suits colour and I'm not sure why she chose that dress, apart from, as posters have pointed out, the press coverage (she has a book out).

I would be frankly embarrassed to attend a ball with someone dressed like that. It's not the red carpet/publicity event so I'm with your DH that it wouldn't be appropriate and I'm that you don't know that.

It’s extremely daring for any occasion (it’s the knicker bit) but for a SCHOOL ball? Just plain inappropriate OP sorry. You did ask. I’m surprised you had to tbh.

This dress doesn’t work on her because it’s too close to her skin tone. It would look so much better on her in black.

As has been stated by PPs, this is a red carpet dress. For an IRL ball, a modified version of this could work, if it were low backed/backless with a form fitting cami dress or lining underneath.That way you get sheer and sexy, but not exhibitionist.

Is this ball is being held at the school your DC attend? (Assuming you have DC) If so, do you really want your DC to be the butt of all the jokes after their parents have gone home and mocked your dress?

She looks like a mannequin in a plastic bag.

That is horrible, you cal almost see her labia!

Also Karen Millen - not transparent but, ime, it's the epitome of a dress that only looks great on a woman with a perfectly toned body (so everyone knows you're hot without seeing you naked).

I'm now going to stop pretend shopping for clothes I will never wear!

Surely a joke.
Not only the dress but expecting us to agree that it’s somehow worth a divorce to wear a crappy style.