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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress

905 replies

DontShow · 15/06/2024 06:39

Going to a ball soon, and I want to wear something lovely, also fashionable.

I was looking at more transparent dresses, as they seem to be in and I definitely have the figure for this. I am 46.

DH said it's all inappropriate. He's never really been fussy about me looking sexy before, he has always liked me to look classy, I call it Princess of Wales style.

So I said, what about Anita Rani, she is my age and looked amazing. "Let's see" he said, "I have always thought she is beautiful". So he looks at the photo for a while, says nothing about her, but says I should not wear something like that as it would be sad.

So, AIBU, or do you need a divorce like Anita to wear what you want at 46?
She has credited her divorce as the catalyst for wearing this, and I think she looks amazing frankly!

DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress
OP posts:
Thread gallery
43
Wherearemymarbles · 15/06/2024 18:38

OP,
Is your husband an ex premier league footballer?

Pumpkinpie1 · 15/06/2024 18:34

She looks ridiculous

Abracadabra12345 · 15/06/2024 18:32

DustyLee123 · 15/06/2024 06:45

Just go in a swimming cossie with an old net curtain over the top. Classy.

That's exactly what came to mind. She wore this for the media inches, , that's all

petermaddog · 15/06/2024 18:30

😆applestruddle i trying something nice but,,,,..................it is horrible

FKAT · 15/06/2024 18:28

willWillSmithsmith · 15/06/2024 18:17

Then why make the thread in the first place?

Show quote history

I think making the thread is part of the process. Outraging the frumpy, pearl clutchy 'legs or boobs never both' crowd of MN is practice for the big night.

gone with the wind film GIF
Saschka · 15/06/2024 18:24

DodoTired · 15/06/2024 16:50

But it IS like a work networking event. Its half the reason why people get their children into schools like that, for connections for themselves and their DC

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This. OP, unless you are the much-younger ex-glamour model trophy wife of a Russian oligarch (in which case most people will have written you off already, and his money will mean people will remain superficially polite to you), this is not the dress to wear if you want to make friends and influence people amongst the school parents.

And if you aren’t interested in any of that, why is your DH wasting his money on “the most expensive school in Britain”?

FKAT · 15/06/2024 18:23

Prawncow · 15/06/2024 18:06

I’ve always felt that see through dresses should be worn like this or not worn at all. To me, the Anita Rani one (and similar worn at red carpet events) look frumpy because all they do is showcase your sensible support garments.

This is not sexy
https://www.marksandspencer.com/firm-control-cool-comfort-shaping-body/p/clp60533931?color=ROSEQUARTZ#intid=pid_pg1pip48g4r4c4

Yeah, you nailed it. That dress needs contrasting underwear. Not spanx and tummy control in Naturelle.

Also thanks for the KM nostalgia. Much needed - she knows how to conceal and reveal.

willWillSmithsmith · 15/06/2024 18:21

ShowerOfShites · 15/06/2024 18:19

Attention probably.

And the wrong kind, just like if she turned up in that awful dress.

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Like I said, Real Housewives vibes.

Cattyisbatty · 15/06/2024 18:19

No way 😆

ShowerOfShites · 15/06/2024 18:19

willWillSmithsmith · 15/06/2024 18:17

Then why make the thread in the first place?

Show quote history

Attention probably.

And the wrong kind, just like if she turned up in that awful dress.

LuluBlakey1 · 15/06/2024 18:18

DontShow · 15/06/2024 06:39

Going to a ball soon, and I want to wear something lovely, also fashionable.

I was looking at more transparent dresses, as they seem to be in and I definitely have the figure for this. I am 46.

DH said it's all inappropriate. He's never really been fussy about me looking sexy before, he has always liked me to look classy, I call it Princess of Wales style.

So I said, what about Anita Rani, she is my age and looked amazing. "Let's see" he said, "I have always thought she is beautiful". So he looks at the photo for a while, says nothing about her, but says I should not wear something like that as it would be sad.

So, AIBU, or do you need a divorce like Anita to wear what you want at 46?
She has credited her divorce as the catalyst for wearing this, and I think she looks amazing frankly!

I think she looks dreadful. I hate the whole thing about transparent clothing- no one looks good in it. It is unnecessary and vulgar. Why would anyone want to show their body to strangers and cameras. It is bizarre. That dress looks like big underwear on show under a bit of net.

Bababa2456 · 15/06/2024 18:17

So this is for Eton, Harrow, Rugby, Charterhouse, Westminster, Winchester, St Paul's?

For goodness sake - get a grip.

Turning up semi naked is not going to be a good look.

What impression do you think you will give to the teachers, for a start?

willWillSmithsmith · 15/06/2024 18:17

FKAT · 15/06/2024 17:19

Weirdly I hate both the dress and every single judgy comment about it.

Go for it OP, you are clearly committed to wearing it and that's fine - if it doesn't matter what your DH thinks and you're happy to wear it to a school event then it certainly doesn't matter what anyone here thinks.

Then why make the thread in the first place?

AppleStruddle123 · 15/06/2024 18:13

Am I allowed to ask if you’re nouveau riche OP?

Bababa2456 · 15/06/2024 18:13

DontShow · 15/06/2024 07:47

It's a school ball, at a private school to boot, and amongst the most expensive in the country. There will be glamour.

Then you are being very silly.

You'd be talked about and not in a good way.

Seriously, how can you even begin to think it's appropriate?

Is this for real?

CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 15/06/2024 18:12

Hallamlass · 15/06/2024 07:06

I agree. I hate "girl power". Plus this is just dressing for the male gaze.
No man is going to say "boy power" and turn up somewhere in a see through suit.

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No - this is definitely not dressing for the male gaze.

This is dressing for the female gaze. To say, look I've still got it, I'm not old, I can still compete with (some) younger women who manage to do this effortlessly.

Or it's dressing for the photographers with a side-helping of "look what you're missing out on" to the ex-husband.

TequilaNights · 15/06/2024 18:09

She is beautiful, but I don't think the dress is flattering in any way.

CandidHedgehog · 15/06/2024 18:08

Technonan · 15/06/2024 18:04

Now this one is beautiful and classy. The one you show at the top of your thread is a disaster.

Show quote history

The OP described this one as ‘Fairy Godmother’ so I assume not her style.

Prawncow · 15/06/2024 18:06

I’ve always felt that see through dresses should be worn like this or not worn at all. To me, the Anita Rani one (and similar worn at red carpet events) look frumpy because all they do is showcase your sensible support garments.

This is not sexy
https://www.marksandspencer.com/firm-control-cool-comfort-shaping-body/p/clp60533931?color=ROSEQUARTZ#intid=pid_pg1pip48g4r4c4

DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress
CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 15/06/2024 18:05

"Going to a ball soon, and I want to wear something lovely, also fashionable.

I was looking at more transparent dresses, as they seem to be in and I definitely have the figure for this. I am 46."

If you've got the figure then you don't need transparent.
The current trend of women/girls trying to show off the maximum amount of body is depressing - especially when they are also upset by the male gaze (but that's another conversation).

Lovely would be classy. Classy would be backless, or halter-neck, with either long dress length (which flows beautifuly as you move), or short if you have lovely legs you want to make others jealous about. A transparent dress requires either an absolutely perfect figure, or a shift more or less hiding everything anyway. They look (at best) good from one angle (frontal for camera shots) and rarely from the back.

But I question your motivation. I can get you want to dress beautifully so you feel good about yourself and not just wearing an old thing that's seen better days.
But you seem to want to make people look at you, rather than thinking about you and DH having a lovely time.

Have you rationalised why that's important to you??

Wherearemymarbles · 15/06/2024 18:04

Just dont let him near any naked flames
or Nylon carpets….

Technonan · 15/06/2024 18:04

Winter2020 · 15/06/2024 07:12

This dress was linked on a style thread earlier. Sheer but a bit more elegant. It seems to have a mini skirt fitted under and I assume the bra is lined but the torso is sheer. Perhaps you can find something nicer than the swimsuit dress with still a bit of sheer fabric.
https://itsmilla.com/products/misty-rose-sheer-sleeves-maxi-tulle-dress?utm_source=RAN&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=2116208:Skimlinks.com&utm_term=10&ranMID=52898&ranEAID=TnL5HPStwNw&ranSiteID=TnL5HPStwNw-QYb18XKje5jJuGrgwCBWbw

Edited

Now this one is beautiful and classy. The one you show at the top of your thread is a disaster.

Wherearemymarbles · 15/06/2024 18:02

Go for it OP.
Your DH can wear the top and bottoms.
He’d be classy and all those glamour puss’ hearts would be a fluttering.

DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress
DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress
RefusingToPlayYourGames · 15/06/2024 18:01

DustyLee123 · 15/06/2024 06:45

Just go in a swimming cossie with an old net curtain over the top. Classy.

Yep. No matter what the age or figure, that "outfit" looks ridiculous and inappropriate ANYWHERE

AhBiscuits · 15/06/2024 17:59

She looks ridiculous and so would you.