To resign over a wedding?

I'd lie.
I'd call in sick or make up an emergency.
If an employer creates a situation where its so difficult to ask for a day off as an exception, that's what you get.

No way would I risk a job for someone who chooses a date when they know I can’t get a day off
And if that person would happily sit by while you lose a job to please them , then that tells you all you need to know
unbelievable. In principle I’d happily decline .

I would also enjoy asking them if they would prefer you to lose your job , their answers will be telling

I would make sure colleagues knew the wedding is coming up but say it’s on the Saturday prior to the Monday in case you end up in wedding pics on Facebook or anything.
Then phone in sick for the Monday and Tuesday (two days are always more convincing 😆).

This. Your relative doesn't care about you.

My mum and DH's best friend are teachers and we got married abroad in the school holidays, pushing up the cost for everyone, because we wanted them to be able to come.

Don't resign.

Just go to manager with notice written hand it to them
say upto the them what would they prefer you leave or they give u day off

That's bad. I thought my place was tight, but they do allow that.

Yep, I’d very happily not go.

As you’re part time, are you in a job share with another staff member, and could you arrange to swap a day with them?

Don’t call in sick, we had someone do that, went to a wedding reception, got found out and lost their job.

If you can get someone to swap days and go to the head with a plan which would answer any objections rather than “we’re swapping days” they’re more likely to agree.

Once you decide to quit you have nothing to lose by telling school you want the day off so badly you are prepared to quit to achieve it. See what they say.

I get it, I love weddings. There's a handful of people in my life that I would feel gutted if I missed their wedding.

I do think you need to really weigh up how important it is to go and what the impact is.

Do a pro/con list about your job, not specifically including the wedding but I guess the inflexibility is a con.

If it's a no to quitting and you can't go to the wedding then I'd have a stock answer prepared for everyone that to go you would have to leave your job, that is the only option and you're sorry but you can't do that.

They might still be disappointed but hopefully will get it a little bit.

A hospital appointment is essential, that is allowed.
Funeral of a close family member is also allowed.

The only time I would do this is for my own child but I would hope they would check the date was okay with me before choosing it.

Actually reading this. Fuck it. Find a new job. This is not a way to live life.

if you were looking to move on you’d need to be interviewed correct? Have an interview that day. It’d be easy enough to organise somewhere some distance away about 11.30 am…… or even 12 ish. Two birds. One stone. (Obvs not actually go for an interview….)

They don't even allow that, @EmberAsh outside the essentials or emergencies.
The only way people manage to do it is by getting signed off sick.
My colleague lost both her parents within a fortnight, the only way to cope was for the Dr to sign her off sick.

I was going to suggest parental leave. Or work related stress for a week or two. Not great but better than resigning.

I can understand the resentment, especially working for an employer so inflexible. But in that case, go look for another job, you don't need an excuse! You never know, if you find another job quickly you could then resign and still attend the wedding.

Out of Interest, would the school be so inflexible if there was a funeral to attend? Or a planned hospital appointment? Weddings come with so much notice, it's very annoying for them to be so rigid. I would imagine this is a source of low morale among the staff and should be raised

So?

The generally understood position is that teachers can’t just take a Monday off in term time for someone’s wedding. Most people would know that. Teachers get enough time off in the school holidays.

If you can afford to take more than just the Monday off, look into applying for unpaid parental leave. I don't know much about it but I think you have to take 1 week minimum, give a month's notice and it's difficult for employers to decline because it's a government standard. The leave is designed to spend time with your children so you could state there is a family wedding. They don't need to know the wedding is only one day. It could be abroad for a week for all they know.

In the current market (at least in my country), there is a huge teacher shortage. They need you far more than you need them.

If you would not be in financial distress to miss your income for a month or two, I would let them know that you have family commitments on xyz date and are requesting leave without pay. If they decline this, I would resign.

I am being openly headhunted by two other local schools at the moment. I feel loyal to my classes and colleagues but I am very conscious that I have other options if I no longer feel supported or valued at my current school.

Where I teach is similarly inflexible. The only way to cover it would be to ask colleagues to step up, this is what we do. A woman wanted to go to a weekday wedding, so five of us with free lessons covered the day. Then she repaid us by covering a lesson of ours over the term.
We organise this internally, with the agreement of the Head. That way people can go to a funeral or their child's graduation etc.