To resign over a wedding?

Are you taking your kids out of school for it?

Seems ridiculous to have a Monday wedding to me, puts everyone out.

@dancingrainbows ask school first. Then, depending on response, if you want to leave anyway start looking seriously and make plans to go ‘because you want to not just because of the wedding’ - if the wedding is just the last straw it’s fine to plan to resign.

If you want to keep a local, part time job that suits you, I’d just pull a sickie and make sure nobody tags you in photos on social media.

If teaching isn’t working fir your life (which it sounds like it isn’t), look for another job and pull the sickie anyway.

I certainly wouldn’t quit over this.and I agree with pp that it’s weird your relatives are getting married on a Monday and assuming you’ll be there. I work in a sector where I can’t take time off easily and I’m only going to the evening do of a family wedding next month, as I just wouldn’t be able to take that day off and didn’t even bother asking.

This. You've got more power than you know.

You could be honest with the head and say you want this day off to celebrate, it is your hill to die on and you would consider leaving your job in order to go to this wedding, but you know they're finding it hard to recruit right now, and you do actually like the job and the hours. Is there a compromise to be made?

There is a third option speak to your employer or your teaching union. People are human, not robots, life gets in the way and occasionally, not often, sometimes life events require us to show up and attend. I don't mean to be rude but you are a teacher not a brain surgeon. For me it wouldn't be a resigning issue, however, I wouldn't want to work for an employer who was that inflexible and lacking in humanity.
Please don't do as suggested and call in sick that is just inexcusable from my perspective and I can guarantee photos will get posted on Facebook, which someone you work with will see, and you will get caught out.

Do you think, you actually want to resign and this has prompted these feelings to the forefront again.

A supportive, flexible and understanding manager, I believe is vital in any employment and usually comes with a brilliant team.

Maybe now is the time to find that supportive,flexilbe and understanding workplace. They do exist. Good luck and enjoy the wedding.

Would they be just as inflexible with this much notice? There is ages to get something else sorted out.

My school, you wouldn’t get paid leave for it. Even a senior leader had to take unpaid leave for his own wedding.(enormously swish venue, difference between term time day and weekend or holiday was in the thousands)

OP, you don't have to justify your reasons to anyone here! If you want to resign and go to the wedding, and can afford to do so, just do it. If recruitment is really so difficult at the moment, you should be able to find another job easily!

Teachers are leaving in their masses, mental health in the profession is at an all time low. There are not enough teachers. Maybe it's time schools found a way of giving teachers time to be a family member - e.g. attending their own child's sports day, attending a funeral/ wedding of a family member. So many teachers go above and beyond, so many teachers have taken my children on overnight trips over the years- very much doubt they get all that time back. Schools can't have it both ways.

Have a look what's available in your area. Do you have a teachincounty website?

There might be schools advertising for part time positions to complement other part time staff they already have. Just have a look to see what the situation is "out there" realistically.

I certainly wouldn't be paying for my own supply like another poster.

I'd ask for the time off now, paid or unpaid-preferably paid. I'd make it clear to the HT I will be going to this family wedding regardless.
I'd make a massive fuss over it actually and get the Union involved, digging my heels in.
Don't lie because someone will find out.

Don’t lie - you won’t enjoy the day worrying about being caught out.

Talk to the leadership and ask to find a solution such as swapping days ect. There must be a way to resolve it.

We do expect an awful lot of our teachers don't we. I'm sure the world wouldn't crumble if each teacher was allowed one or two days a year off for family issues etc.
DH taught all his life and we lost count of how many funerals (and a couple of wednesday weddings) he missed.
That aside, I think you'd be mad to resign over it.

It's not that black and white these days. Due to teacher shortages/retention rates schools are more flexible about things like this these days wherever possible. It can be difficult when multiple staff want to attend something at the same time (like carol concerts and sports days) but close family weddings would certainly be permitted as unpaid leave in a lot of schools.

The inflexibility of your school is one of the reasons why there is a teacher retention crisis. There has to be some consideration that teachers will simply need time off during school year that are out of their control. Personally, I'm at the stage in my career were I would not work in a school where there was no flexibility in this regard.

If I was in a school like this I would just tell no one and call in sick on that day and the day after. Wouldn't feel guilty at all. Even if they found out, highly doubt they would fire you over it, due to aforementioned teacher retention problem. Would easily get another job as good teachers are getting scarcer.

If they got married on a Tuesday then all their family could be there. I'm assuming they've book the full week off themselves, so a day later isn't going to affect anyone really, and it will ensure you can attend without having to quit your job.

Unless you want to quit your job?

People lose their mind on wedding threads on MN, always assuming that no one could possibly want to go to a wedding and that the bride and groom are selfish inconsiderate narcs rather than maybe other close relatives have commitments that mean a weekend wedding is impossible.

OP you sound like you’d really like to go to the wedding and really dislike where you work so I’d absolutely leave the job over it.

i’d frame the position as something your manager Shiism be attempting to resolve “this wedding is very important to me, is there an option aside from resignation”

OP, if it's about attending a family occasion, surely there will be plenty more of those - Christmases, birthdays etc - that take place on a weekend? I don't think it's reasonable to prioritise your attendance at a weekday wedding over the running of the school. Presumably it would cause them problems and / or expense to have to cover your absence. And where does it end? If they gave time off to you for a wedding that is not your own, will the floodgates open?

I would definitely make it the schools problem. Be honest with them, if they are understaffed are they prepared to lose you over one day? Tell them your options if they value you they will work it out. If they point blank refuse and make you choose something that is important to you - then there is your answer and maybe it's time to move on.

Not really, I work across multiple schools and it would be permitted as a one off (possibly even welcomed to save a days pay!).

I'd explain the situation again and let them know you absolutely want to attend.

How much do you need the income?

Because what I'm getting is you are ready to quit this school have some family support to do so - but are worried about finding the next job.

Have you looked at supply options - do you have childcare to do that? If P/T teaching is hard would you look at other p/t options workwise.