To make my husband sleep outside.

You need to get a lock box for outside - but I can’t see why he can’t take a bloody key, for most people it’s a normal part of leaving the house, phone, keys. What does he do if you’re out when he gets home (when he doesn’t go out)?

YABU to lock him out without any warning, knowing that he never takes his key out and it seems you both have been doing this for some time.

YANBU to tell him that from now on you will be locking up at X time and going to bed so he will either need to take a key, sleep in Tempe out building or make other arrangements.

He is being very unreasonable to expect you to be his butler and always open the door for him. It’s ridiculous for him to think it’s ok to leave a door unlocked. If you got burgled your insurance company would laugh at him if he put in a claim after leaving doors unlocked.

He needs an insurance company approved key safe.
If you got burgled and the backdoor was unlocked the claim on insurance would be denied.

Get a key box installed outside. Banging on the door at that time is very inconsiderate especially waking his own wife and kids up!

Just get one of these key boxes https://www.argos.co.uk/product/8033653?istCompanyId=a74d8886-5df9-4baa-b776-166b3bf9111c&istFeedId=30f62ea9-9626-4cac-97c8-9ff3921f8558&istItemId=ixilqlprq&istBid=t&&cmpid=GS001&_$ja=tsid:59157%7Cacid:804-872-0397%7Ccid:20330964438%7Cagid:%7Ctid:%7Ccrid:%7Cnw:x%7Crnd:4105357169135216828%7Cdvc:m%7Cadp:%7Cmt:%7Cloc:9046643&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=20330964438&utm_term=8033653&utm_content=shopping&utm_custom1=&utm_custom2=804-872-0397&GPDP=true&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD9II9ldOKOLqqWN6ZGMKsVeenTfs&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI06Pq24fdhgMVfpRQBh0AFAIyEAQYASABEgKUuvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

If I was you OP I would lie in bed gleefully listening to him hammer on the door and ringing the phone, whilst doing absolutely fuck all about it.

Let the selfish twat sleep outside. Hope it rains.

I wonder how many women with young children are frequently out after work networking with colleagues in bars and clubs until the early hours and relying on their children's fathers to let them in because they're too busy and important to carry a house key, although mysteriously able to look after a phone, wallet, work security pass etc.

Growlybear83 · Yesterday 23:33
I would be irritated by my husband not having a key, but I think it's unreasonable not to let him in if he's back by about 1.

It's very unreasonable if you have been in bed since 10.00.
It's not difficult, take a key, use it come in quietly and lock up.

I grew up in a small village in the 90s where nobody locked their doors, and nobody got burgled... until my best friend's family did. And couldn't claim anything on their insurance because the burglar had simply strolled in the unlocked back door. They were left I£1000s out of pocket.

And they were actually relatively lucky, it could’ve been so much worse.

I’ve read (true) crime stories where the “burglar” has also been a violent sex offender who has decided to rape or attack anyone they encounter on entry.

I grew up in a small village in the 90s where nobody locked their doors, and nobody got burgled... until my best friend's family did. And couldn't claim anything on their insurance because the burglar had simply strolled in the unlocked back door. They were left £1000s out of pocket.

Does your DH have any expensive hobbies? Maybe you could arrange for a friend to steal some of his pricey hobby equipment next time he's out (lighthearted obvs)

It's actually very controlling behaviour to manage a wallet but not a key, it's like he wants you to be thinking about him at all times even when he's not there.

Are there other things he does that feel similar?

My 16 year old keeps his house key in his wallet, and he’s not even an adult.

OP, your husband is a wazzock.

He is incredibly selfish and also very silly. I’d hate to be with a man so wilfully neglectful of my and my children’s safety who was happy to endanger me or disrupt my sleep.

I’m baffled by the people saying they live in a “safe” place so keep their doors open though . Bad things can happen anywhere so why risk it? Unless you live on a remote island with no other residents or something I can’t think why you’d think it was ok to leave your door unlocked and even then personally I’d lock it!

I lived in London with a Swedish woman for a few months that kept on forgetting to lock the front door. I spoke to her very sternly on a couple of occasions and it stopped.

Are there other issues in the marriage? Is he considerate and loving otherwise?

Inconsiderate Prick

Good point!

Why is a house key any more difficult to keep on his person than his car key? Or his phone, wallet, credit card?

Get him a dog tag style chain and he can wear his key around his neck.

It would really get to me though. He's literally putting his needs way above yours.

How difficult is it to take a door key with you. So selfish of him to expect you to stay awake.

I’ve been burgled and it was terrifying (was in the house when it happened), there’s not a chance I’d leave my door unlocked. I’m sure that would affect, possibly invalidate, any insurance claim should anything happen?

Don't know how they work but you can install locks which work off your phone or thumb print. All sounds a bit James Bond but we viewed a house once and the estate agent was very excited to show us the locking system. I would leave a key out in the garden tonight but when things are calmer in the morning insist he arranges something different for future. Doesn't sound like he respects you if he can't appreciate your need for security and sense of safety.

Copied from 'Compare the Market', with respect to what can invalidate an insurance policy.

"

Not keeping your home secure

Insurance providers may not pay out for a burglary claim if there are no signs of forced entry at your home. Leaving windows or doors open or unlocked, or hiding keys near the front door, could mean part or all of your claim is not paid.
And be accurate when you describe yourdoor and window lockss*. When you claim, loss adjusters are likely to check they match what you told your provider.
"

He is unbelievably selfish. What a twat. How fucking hard is it to carry a key?! You’re not asking him to carry an anvil.

Key boxes only work if you put the key back in after. I wonder who's job it will be to put the key back? Can't he wear a key on a lanyard?

I'm guessing it's one of these.

Big job in the City and can't (won't) manage a simple housekey 😂😂

What good will that do he doesn’t have any keys anyway so he’s already locked out 😂😂