To make my husband sleep outside.

Key safe.

We kept a spare key in there in case anyone (mostly the teenagers) lost one.

Glad to hear he is getting another key cut though.

I've known a few men who do this - refuse to take a key and insist the wife is home and awake/available to let him in or that she leaves a door unlocked even when it's scary for her - as a control strategy.

Bellends, the lot of them.

There’s something really unattractive about a grown man who is unable to remember to keep a house key on his person.

And? That was then, this is now and his ridiculous stubbornness his causing the woman he's supposed to love annoyance.

Does he know, or care, that your house/contents insurance could be invalidated and claim refused if the house was not properly secured? Eg: unlocked doors, windows? 🌹

Quite, him being able to manage a Big Job and all. And if a key safe is really the best idea, I feel if he put his high powered strategic mind to it, he could source one and get it installed. The ops only responsibility here is to lock her door for safety and turn off her phone to protect her sleep.

@FarawayFlower that's a result. I hope you got some sleep.

We have a key safe in the porch. We live in a very safe, low-crime place and used to just leave a key hidden in the porch. One day I thought how ridiculous it was because if anything did happen we’d have no claim on insurance or anything! Now we have a key safe and it doesn’t matter if anyone has forgotten their key.

Missing the point here but the city has changed a lot and there is no longer a culture of “come out drinking or be fired”. People still go drinking with friends and colleagues but no different to anywhere else in the country in any type of job.

I just wanted to say that so this socialising isn’t seen as a must but a want.

He should be able to work out where he's going to keep the key he's getting cut today all by himself.

What a strange reply. A grown man who refuses to carry a key and has no issue leaving a door unlocked late at night with his kids there would be a big issue for me.

Could you suggest putting the door key into his wallet ?

Read the title - YABU.
Then read the post - YANBU.

Tell him he's invalidated the house insurance by leaving the door unlocked.

He is being a dick.

Why exactly does he not take a key?

Is it to control you?

Good outcome then,OP !

Or get a secure key safe and keep the key in there. We have one and it's extremely handy if we forget our keys, family can get in, trusted tradespeople. You screw it to a wall somewhere discrete, ours is in our always open porch, tucked out of site

Excellent!

Well done you. Amazing how easily resolvable these situations become when you make it THEIR PROBLEM. But I’m a bit concerned- what kind of self centred turd expects the wife who is up with the dc overnight and up at 5 with the baby to wake up and let him in? I’d be waking him regularly ‘could you walk petunia back to her bed , it won’t take any longer than waking me up to answer the bloody door for you.’

Reading your post felt like I could have written it.
I had the same situation with dh not taking a key and expecting me to leave door unlocked or even worse put the key somewhere outside!! We also have 3 young kids. Unacceptable and ridiculous and obviously not something you would do so end up not sleeping and waiting for them!!

This became a habit and I realise now that I allowed it by not making his life difficult.
I got very angry and I warned him that I would not be doing it again and if he didn’t take the keys with him, he would need to stay at his friends because I was locking the door. After being warned if you follow through, then that’s on your DH. I did have to lose it with him.

Mine is going out tonight and he knows he needs his key to get in. But it needed to be spelt out.
people like our DHs are happy for a situation to continue if it works for them!

He is a jerk, and I hope he had to sleep in a puddle.

He may have slept in the garden room, but he still caused distress for the OP, when she has to be up early with the baby.

For those saying it's not 'hard' that's presuming that you are having a '30 second' conversation with someone who is on your side, someone who would never dream of leaving the door unlocked, or asking you to.
Someone who would not be waking up his sleep deprived partner and his kids after coming in at 1.00 rat arsed.
Someone who would carry a key, lock up carefully behind him (you know, so as not to cause the mother of his children undue stress) and have a bit of consideration.
I am guessing here, but an easy, 30 second conversation with him? I don't think so.

Strange how once you keep a boundary they change their behaviour.

Remember this for the next time. People never pay attention to what you say. They pay attention to what you do.

That's good news @FarawayFlower. Remember about the boundaries thing - his little weird belief that you should do things for him will surface in some other way. For me, when my husband had been left outside for ages on two occasions because I refused to open the door, he stopped doing it. But then he started randomly asking for lifts at inconvenient times / to awkward places and getting most upset when I wouldn't give them.

Keep an eye out for repeat behaviour, I think a previous PP had a really good point when they said, "I don't understand why this is so hard - this should be a 30 second conversation" (or something to that effect) - if you're thinking that about something going ok between you two then that's your red flag to get reflective and see if it might be part of a pattern!

Well done OP.

It’s a control thing.
He needs to be locked outside a few times before he’ll get the message.

Or a key safe and switch off the door bell.

Those of you who say let him in if it’s before 1am, I’d have to set my alarm as I go to bed early ( 10ish) for work.