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First date - is this not a bit weird of him??

479 replies

Lilifer · 14/06/2024 21:33

I joined an old fashioned dating agency a month ago and was sent a match last week. The way it works is that if you like the look of the profile of the guy you let the agency know, and they then contact the man to let him know to contact you, and they give him your number,

So far so good, man, let's call him John rang me on Tuesday to see if I would like to meet up. I suggested we meet up in a city that's half way between us both, (we both live rurally) initially I suggested coffee but he said he would like to go for lunch so I said that's fine, pick a restaurant and let me know which one and I'll see you there at 2pm Saturday.

I waited to hear back which restaurant he was choosing. Yesterday he messaged me to ask where I would be parking so that he could choose a place that's within walking distance of where I parked. (Which I thought was considerate of him.) I told him where I was parking and heard nothing back until just now when he messaged me to say that if it's ok, he'll contact me at 2-ish tomorrow to let me know where he is.

Aibu to find that bizarre and more than a little annoying? He's had 3 days to figure out a restaurant, it's not that hard to settle on a place. And we were meant to be meeting at 2 so what's with the "I'll message you at 2ish" about?? So I'm meant to drive an hour to get to the city , and park and then wait to be given my instructions ... 🤨 I'm a bit unimpressed to be honest.

He did say a couple days ago when we chatted on phone that as he lives rurally an hour from this city he's not too familiar with the restaurants but we all know how to google these days, it's not that hard.

I just think it's weird. I was already a bit nervous of this date as it's my first time getting out there since my divorce and now this has kind of thrown me and I don't know what to respond to him .. can anyone advise?

OP posts:
marcopront · 17/06/2024 02:58

@PUGMEISTER21

Reply with "great, just let me know which restaurant we are meeting in and i will see you there at 2"

Why would she do this after the date has happened?

Even if you don't read the updates, she said in the first post when the date was.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 17/06/2024 00:20

Lilifer · 17/06/2024 00:13

@ReadingSoManyThreads funnily enough I do know a man whose name begins with K who fits that description perfectly, and I'm glad to say that I would not touch that man with a barge pole 🤔

NI is small, it's entirely possibly your K and my K are the same man 🙈

Could indeed, small world, the prick 😂🤗

Lilifer · 17/06/2024 00:13

@ReadingSoManyThreads funnily enough I do know a man whose name begins with K who fits that description perfectly, and I'm glad to say that I would not touch that man with a barge pole 🤔

NI is small, it's entirely possibly your K and my K are the same man 🙈

OP posts:
ReadingSoManyThreads · 16/06/2024 23:59

MasterOfCake · 16/06/2024 13:18

Do you honestly believe K is the only person in the entire world who is bad at arranging a first date? How very odd.

What? No. I asked because K also works abroad for half of the year, lives rurally, and the city where they met would be his nearest city. Absolutely nothing at all to do with how the date was arranged. ETA we were hardly talking about the "entire world" either, the population of NI is very small!!!

@Lilifer glad to hear he isn't K, he's my friend's abusive ex, so that's a relief!!

AutumnCrow · 16/06/2024 23:43

RedRec · 16/06/2024 21:38

I swear I have never seen any other thread where so many people fail to read any updates!

Try the 'get a key safe' one. Worse than the 'cancel the cheque' debacle.

Lilifer · 16/06/2024 23:04

User364837 · 16/06/2024 20:29

@Lilifer OP I’m curious, does the agency let him down gently for you? Do you just tell them yay or nay and they pass that on? I’d like that because that’s the bit I don’t like at all!

You have to contact the guy and let him know if you would like to see him again, or not. I spent quite a while composing as kind a message as I could, sent a to him and he replied back saying that he agreed that "the stars didn't quite align for us" but wished me well on my dating journey, so that was all fine.
And then I get back to the agency to let them know so that they know to send me the next match for me, whenever they reckon they've found someone possibly compatible,

OP posts:
Lilifer · 16/06/2024 23:00

aLittleWhiteHorse · 16/06/2024 21:15

Ooh - I am in NI and now I’m curious as which agency you used?

I used TwosCompany.ie - they cover the whole of the island of Ireland

OP posts:
PUGMEISTER21 · 16/06/2024 22:51

JeepJeepJeep · 14/06/2024 21:37

I wouldn't park where you said you would. Just to be safe.

That's if you go.

Reply with "great, just let me know which restaurant we are meeting in and i will see you there at 2"

Lilifer · 16/06/2024 22:49

HollyKnight · 16/06/2024 21:51

This thread will go quiet, then someone will bump it in 3 months and people will still reply with "Don't do it, OP. He wants to see you first then decide."

😂😂😂 setting my timer ⏱️

OP posts:
HollyKnight · 16/06/2024 21:51

This thread will go quiet, then someone will bump it in 3 months and people will still reply with "Don't do it, OP. He wants to see you first then decide."

EveryOtherNameTaken · 16/06/2024 21:48

RedRec · 16/06/2024 21:38

I swear I have never seen any other thread where so many people fail to read any updates!

So fucking frustrating!

Quoting OP's original thread (always completely pointless) and making suggestions a whole day after the event is over 🙄

RedRec · 16/06/2024 21:38

I swear I have never seen any other thread where so many people fail to read any updates!

aLittleWhiteHorse · 16/06/2024 21:15

Ooh - I am in NI and now I’m curious as which agency you used?

AthenaBasil · 16/06/2024 20:38

RubyWasp · 16/06/2024 19:43

Unfortunately he is being vague in case who he’s really wanting to have lunch makes a solid plan with him. Or he’s double booked you in case one doesn’t show up. Leave him where he is, in limbo land.

Read the thread. They’ve already met.

User364837 · 16/06/2024 20:29

@Lilifer OP I’m curious, does the agency let him down gently for you? Do you just tell them yay or nay and they pass that on? I’d like that because that’s the bit I don’t like at all!

RubyWasp · 16/06/2024 19:43

Lilifer · 14/06/2024 21:33

I joined an old fashioned dating agency a month ago and was sent a match last week. The way it works is that if you like the look of the profile of the guy you let the agency know, and they then contact the man to let him know to contact you, and they give him your number,

So far so good, man, let's call him John rang me on Tuesday to see if I would like to meet up. I suggested we meet up in a city that's half way between us both, (we both live rurally) initially I suggested coffee but he said he would like to go for lunch so I said that's fine, pick a restaurant and let me know which one and I'll see you there at 2pm Saturday.

I waited to hear back which restaurant he was choosing. Yesterday he messaged me to ask where I would be parking so that he could choose a place that's within walking distance of where I parked. (Which I thought was considerate of him.) I told him where I was parking and heard nothing back until just now when he messaged me to say that if it's ok, he'll contact me at 2-ish tomorrow to let me know where he is.

Aibu to find that bizarre and more than a little annoying? He's had 3 days to figure out a restaurant, it's not that hard to settle on a place. And we were meant to be meeting at 2 so what's with the "I'll message you at 2ish" about?? So I'm meant to drive an hour to get to the city , and park and then wait to be given my instructions ... 🤨 I'm a bit unimpressed to be honest.

He did say a couple days ago when we chatted on phone that as he lives rurally an hour from this city he's not too familiar with the restaurants but we all know how to google these days, it's not that hard.

I just think it's weird. I was already a bit nervous of this date as it's my first time getting out there since my divorce and now this has kind of thrown me and I don't know what to respond to him .. can anyone advise?

Unfortunately he is being vague in case who he’s really wanting to have lunch makes a solid plan with him. Or he’s double booked you in case one doesn’t show up. Leave him where he is, in limbo land.

Judecb · 16/06/2024 18:44

Give him the benefit of the doubt, but I'd also message back to say that doesn't suit you and that you'd rather know where you were going before you set off .... I'd also follow that by suggesting you make the booking.

Frogandfish · 16/06/2024 18:39

Smugglerstop · 16/06/2024 18:34

He's waiting to see what you look like in person in the carpark then he won't contact you for lunch if he doesn't like the look of you. Absolute coward.

Yep that's absolutely what's going to happen. Oh wait...

MasterOfCake · 16/06/2024 18:39

Smugglerstop · 16/06/2024 18:34

He's waiting to see what you look like in person in the carpark then he won't contact you for lunch if he doesn't like the look of you. Absolute coward.

😂😂😂

At least read OP’s posts before posting such nonsense!

MasterOfCake · 16/06/2024 18:37

Stevie66j · 16/06/2024 17:55

2pm seems a little late to do ‘ lunch …..
I have to say , it’s not a great start .
my feeling is that he should have accepted coffee as it was your suggestion & far more preferable than risking having to sit through lunch in what might be an uncomfortable atmosphere .

That’s exactly the time I would arrange to meet a friend for lunch!

Smugglerstop · 16/06/2024 18:34

He's waiting to see what you look like in person in the carpark then he won't contact you for lunch if he doesn't like the look of you. Absolute coward.

Lilywc · 16/06/2024 18:13

Don’t go he sounds weird or married

Havinganamechange · 16/06/2024 18:05

The super paranoid version of me that has watched too many criminal minds episodes would not have told him where I was parking. I would think he was planning to kidnap me or something 🤦🏼‍♀️😂😂😂

Stevie66j · 16/06/2024 17:55

2pm seems a little late to do ‘ lunch …..
I have to say , it’s not a great start .
my feeling is that he should have accepted coffee as it was your suggestion & far more preferable than risking having to sit through lunch in what might be an uncomfortable atmosphere .

MasterOfCake · 16/06/2024 13:18

ReadingSoManyThreads · 16/06/2024 01:17

I asked because something you said about him made me think I might know who it is, and if it did happen to be the same person, there are some things you should know!!

Do you honestly believe K is the only person in the entire world who is bad at arranging a first date? How very odd.