to think my life is actually quite sad/pathetic?

Do you have any ambitions you want to achieve? Places you want to visit? Would the idea of going on the holiday of a lifetime terrify you or excite you?

Try and do something outside your comfort zone once a month, even if it's just having a coffee at a pavement café, going to the cinema or theatre, or a day trip to the beach. You need things to look forward to, and life can be fun and exciting, despite chronic illness and anxiety.

Who said that?

☺️ I quite like that motto OP.

If you are happy and you like your life, that's all that matters really. I always feel worried about this - that other people might think I'm sad or whatever - but deep down, I rarely am.

One thing I've found that it is harder to make friends when you are past Uni - I'm struggling at 30+ and that's despite going into the office, going to office events, trying out social clubs and book clubs etc. I do have 3 or 4 close friends but they are married or have children now so their priorities are elsewhere... things change. Even for people who seem like they have it all, time changes things. I think it is just as lonely to feel like the 'odd one out' when your friends' lives are at different stages than it would be to not really have them.

My life is not that dissimilar to yours except I don’t work due to chronic illness. I’m very close to my family also. I’m also in bed every night at 7pm watching tv but sometimes I’ll read or listen to podcasts around my interests. During the week I also spend time with my little nieces/nephews and everyone else I know is at work so it helps to fill the time and of course I adore them!

I think it’s important to have relationships and interests outside of family though.

I try to make some nice plans with others on a weekend otherwise I’d go stir crazy. A yoga class, meet a friend for a coffee, go to the theatre, go out for lunch or shopping or cinema with my DH.

I like to travel so spend time researching and planning that but even on holiday I’m in bed for an afternoon nap and then again at 8pm - I have to be to manage my fatigue.

Have you looked into joining some classes eg yoga, it can really help with pain. The Virtual Village Hall has lots of free classes you can do from home - you could build some interests from there? If you like walking how about visiting some new places for walks or try Meet up for group hikes? How about an in person book club or an online one (Shelf help is great if you’re into personal development but there are plenty of others). You could volunteer? Visit some interesting places etc. So many options that you can hopefully fit around your illnesses if you feel stuck in a rut.

Sounds like you need to set some goals. Do you have any dreams, anything you want to achieve in life? Don’t tell yourself it won’t happen. Take some actionable steps towards it. I totally agree rest is important but so is not letting life pass you by and not ignoring those feelings you have of there being more to life.

You sound lovely and your life isn't sad and pathetic. I absolutely love what your do for your neices and nephew and how you describe them. You also have rich family relationships which is a great blessing. I would encourage you though to find some opportunities to keep some options open for social encounters. Maybe a Choir or sports club? Volunteering is a nice way of meeting others without the social awkwardness as you have something to do. I don't know what your skillset is or what you like but there are lots of opportunities. A community cafe, school governor, children's group volunteer. Consider 1 way you can branch out and take the plunge. Good luck OP!

I totally get this, I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but I just try to enjoy the little moments. I've been through times when I was unbelievable stressed out which is what gave me the CFS in the first place so now I just appreciate the small but peaceful life I have.

Honestly?

For a 27 year old it does sound quite samey and sad.

You say you don't want to go out because you have anxiety. So you're medicalising shyness or internal fears rather than facing your fears and getting out there.

And you're big? So many young women nowadays are carrying a lot of weight. And yet there they are with nice boyfriends, great lives and looking hot. It's no excuse really.

What do you fancy doing OP?

I think you are lucky to live such a peaceful life. But if you want a little more in it, then add a few things.

And yet you posted on the internet to ask a bunch of total strangers whether your life wasn’t ‘actually quite sad/pathetic’? You’re inviting opinions, and I suspect you mind more than you think, and you know there’s more to life than working and watching tv in bed. You have a lot of freedom, no ties, you’re clearly solvent and in reasonably good health. The world is your oyster. What do you want from it?

What’s the deal with your work? I remember my late 20s as a time when I (and all my contemporaries) felt propelled forward in my career. It took up a lot of time and energy and involved a fair amount of socialising and junketing around the country. It doesn’t sound as if your work demands much of you? If that’s so, isn’t there more you want to do?

How about just finding a nice hobby to at home?

I have taken up sewing as I am too ill to go out often and it makes me feel more like I have a life outside of work and family, its something to look forward to and I occasionally go to classes or a fabric shop if I am well enough

I empathise OP as I feel similar. I go out more but the feeling that others are having a blast and I have a bit of a small life sounds similar. Maybe that’s an illusion in my head but I feel boring than others! I see some friends on Facebook posting May pics and it looks like such a full life of trips and experiences. I would love to have more of that but my friends are very disinterested or very partner focused so they won’t do anything unless their partner is away or bisy and even then it’s just dinner. I don’t really know how to fix how I feel so I certainly empathise.

I’m sure the right answer is to do exciting things alone but I feel loneliest in a crowd when I’m alone. I woulD like to share going out and doing things with others. Is this what stops you going out or do you not want to go out? If you would like to then start small and try having a coffee in a cafe or maybe attending a solo event like a gym class. I feel better when I’ve had social contact even if it’s not super exciting. Just a casual chat with an acquaintance can make things feel better. The common MN suggestion is joining groups so you might consider this. I think it’s easier said than done as groups can be a negative experience but it’s worth a try if you could find a local interest group.

even if you value peace and quiet, the thoughts that you’ve been having suggest that you might want more contact. Start small and see if it helps. Good luck

90% very happy is actually very high!

Your life is not sad or pathetic. Your life is valid, valuable and yours.

If you want more then work out what it is, but don't change to become someone else as that won't lead to any more happiness.

I suppose the key thing is, are you happy with your life (and it does sound rather serene and lovely), or do you want more? Do you want friends, a boyfriend, a social life? Could you join a book group, a walking group, a dog training class, whatever you enjoy, if you're looking for a social outlet?

You are so young OP and it sounds like life is passing you by. As other PPs suggest, is there a hobby you enjoy or would like to try? Could you join a gym (aqua aerobics was great for me when I was bigger and full of fun ladies), or gardening or cooking?

I think it is lovely that you are close to family. Not everyone has that.

I think it would be good for you to build a bit of a social network. You don't have to have best friends but a tiny bit of volunteering or an activity of some sort that gets you out.

Most people need to balance peace with stimulation and do something now and again to make them feel a bit excited by life, as balance in all things is usually optimum. You don't have to be hitting the town with a big group of mates. You could just try a few new experiences, shows, gigs, museums, a hobby, to see if anything grabs you and gets your enthusiasm going.