to think my life is actually quite sad/pathetic?

How about doing some volunteering? It's something you can do for a few hours a week at your convenience. You can meet other people and get involved in their fund raisers etc. It's such a worthwhile thing to do.

But you didn’t neutrally invite perspectives on your life, OP. Look at your language . You’re the one who said ‘in the abstract, my life is quite sad’.

I absolutely get that your illness means you have to conserve energy, but it sounds to me as if you could live a richer life.

I'm a little unsure OP. You say you're happy 90% of the time, but your subsequent posts would indicate that actually your life is missing things you would like in it - a husband, children, home ownership, and that it's not that you're content per se, but you don't actually know what to do with your downtime and/or illness and anxiety limit your abilities to engage socially.

I don't think you're pathetic, not at all, but I think you are very young to be writing off having your own children (I understand your PCOS struggles), or building a social network, hobbies etc.

I also think it's worth bearing in mind that sadly one day your parents will most likely die before you, and there's no guarantee that your siblings and their children will remain local to you. You need to build relationships and community that will sustain you.

I'm interested that you use the words sad and pathetic. Those are quite strong. You didn't say a bit dull and understimulating, you used quite emotionally laden words.

You say you are happy and you also say your life is sad. Have you ever spent time visualising what a happy life would look like? A happy ordinary average day? In what way would it differ from what you have now? In what way would it be the same? What about a happy weekend life?

I think fantasising like this can give us ideas on what we want to change.

I also think it's fun to shake up tiny things in life, just to see what happens to your energy and your opportunities. Just reorganising your furniture or walking a different route or doing face to face meetings instead of zoom - small things like that can shift the energy.

you dont sound sad or pathetic, you do sound like you could do with a few challenges to work towards, like taking up a sport, or a qualification, or voluntary work. maybe you could train for the Samaritans or take up football? there are lots of local clubs for women beginners these days.

Yes I said it sounds miserable to me.

I also said if she's happy that's great.

What's your point?

I do not think not wanting anyone to know your name is normal at all. I think posters are being disingenuous when they say it is. The OP has mentioned depression has destroyed all her hobbies, so that is clearly not a normal state of being, either.

I personally wouldn't have been happy with the life you describe at 27yo. With no ties I was going out, meeting people, holidays travelling, taking risks with my career. At 40 I feel getting into bed at 7pm to watch TV would be pretty bleak every night.

What you do in your 20s will dictate what your 30s, 40s and 50s ( and beyond) are like. If you want to meet someone, you need to be looking. Even just making friends outside of your family.

Get help for your social anxiety, play the hell out the cards life has given you. Life is short, blink and you'll miss it.

why is it 'miserable ' in your opinion but for someone else it is great, she is in bed with the dog watching tv, what's wrong with that or does it not fit into 'your' idea of normal?

In bed at 7 for someone in their 20s does sound miserable.

But that's me. Yes I'd worry if you were my kid.

But If you're genuinely happy and love your life that's great and don't change anything.

why? if she is happy sod knitting or bloody crochet!

Hi OP,

I think the most important thing about life is whether you are happy. It's great that you have strong family relationships.

I understand that chronic fatigue can make things difficult (and is very variable each day) but I think joining a hobby group/book club/committee/whatever interests you might help to improve your social skills a bit. An app like meetup has loads of groups and might be a good starting point.

Meeting a few new people might also open you up to finding a friend or romantic partner, and provide a slightly richer experience of life.

If you are happy it doesn't matter what anyone thinks, or how your life compares to others x

Peaceful is great but surely some additional interests/hobbies would be good. Do a jigsaw in the evenings. Knit, crochet or sew. You could try an online class if you don't feel up to an in person one. A great thing would be to help with Brownies/Beavers or similar. People are usually grateful for any help offered and you sound like you enjoy being with kids.

The only question that matters is are you happy? Everything else is irrelevant. Plenty of people live sexy, exciting lives - doesn’t mean they enjoy them. Maybe they’ve got loads of friends, live in a flat in Camden, go to gigs and cool bars, etc, but are deeply, deeply unhappy. Think of all the rich, talented artists who’ve killed themselves, or drunk themselves to death. Then there are other people who live alone with a couple of cats, have no friends or career, spend the weekend sipping herbal tea and re-reading Tolkien but are blissfully content.

@PatheticPup I’ll be your friend OP! I’m exactly the same! I’m 29, WFH 8-4 every day, weekends are either spent with family or by myself! I’m heavily involved in my niece and love looking after her but I would like a family of my own on day. I’m always in bed for around 7!

I also have PCOS and have put on weight and I’ve been struggling badly with this and also have no boyfriend either! Friends are always busy with their children or partners these days. I’d like more hobbies but not sure where to start!

Im not sure where you are based but if you’d like a friend please message me on here! :)

If you ever fancy going to Costa :)

I think your life does seem peaceful but perhaps you feel you're missing something because you're asking the question in the first place. The only thing I'd suggest is maybe an opportunity to meet other people with a hobby. Have you thought about a walking group or a local sport you might like to try. I've recently joined a sports club local to me that I've never done before and honestly it's added so much to my life and the other women are so lovely 🥰 I've made some great friends.

My motto is “if you know my name, you know too much”

But why? It's not like you're in MI5 or something. Your existence isn't under threat from making acquaintances and would probably be enhanced by it. Honestly, this sounds like something people write on SM when they want to look edgy and mysterious but really they are Neil from Woking and work in Curry's.

Honestly, we are nearly all Neil who works in Curry's. Most people will live unremarkable lives, but that doesn't mean they need to be small lives- just don't block things off because you're afraid of failure or rejection- it's just part of life.

I think you need to make your world a bit bigger.

Make some effort to get new friends. See the world.

You'll look back in twenty years otherwise and nothing will have changed, except your ability to change it will have decreased every year.

You’re only 27 but you write like you are 47. You are so very young and there is lots to hope for. You are ahead of many your age in that you have a career and can support yourself. You know what you want out of life too.

Your life sounds very peaceful and secure and your family sounds amazing.
But you are allowed to want more and to go after it. I think you may be too comfortable and afraid to venture outside your routine.

I know you have fatigue and that is a challenge as I have it too, but you do need a few good friends, and to go out now and then and actively look for a partner if you want a husband and kids.

See if there is a dog walking group in your town…that is a good way to meet people.

I don’t know. I have diagnosed social anxiety too but never wanted that to limit me - I took medication for a while to help me cope with getting out of my comfort zone, take up hobbies, meet people, do well at work, date etc etc - I am so glad I did as would’ve missed out on so much of life if I didn’t push through it. Unless it’s incredibly severe I absolutely think you can - but only you know what kind of life you want to live.

It sounds fine to me....maybe you could look at getting some hobbies, just to find more varied things to do but I think most peoples day to day lives arent filled with excitement and adventure anyways!
Majority of most peoples days are going to be work, family and household chores TBF.

and nothing wrong with curling up in bed at 7 with a dog to watch telly, I do it fairly often!

A few people are being a bit prickly. People can't seem to comprehend anything other than their own ideal. We're all here on MN on a Friday evening, not just OP. Just saying.

Anyway, I'd definitely consider volunteering or a hobby group (as in, strongly recommend). It's killing two birds with one stone:

Social interaction/building confidence for new experiences. But the socialising doesn't require a lot of commitment, and you're always doing something so there's always stuff to talk about.

And it's tied to something you're interested in and enjoy.

I wouldn't be happy with this life and not because you don't have a bf or kids. But because it's so small.

If you are happy with it, and don't even want to join any sort of club, then I guess nothing more to be said. But you don't sound happy. I would be highly alarmed if my DD, a few years younger than you, lived like this.