I live in an awful area, there was a shooting today and can't get out!

Can you increase your hours? Get a full time job to help you save? X

It's boys and men. Overwhelmingly boys and men. So entitled.

I mean you get girl's and women that are deeply unpleasant and aggressive but there's not packs of them in balaclavas trying to stab and shoot each other all over the country.

You have my sympathies OP. We're on the edge of London- we're in a bit of Surrey where the borders blur with tfl etc. I love it here in many ways but it's started here too. We've had a spate of attacks and stabbings. A gang of lads has started causing bother in broad daylight. We are starting to prepare to leave the area.

I hope you find a solution. Some of the positions in The Lady could be a really good idea.

People describing London as a ‘ghetto’ or a ‘war zone’ need to take a look at what’s happening elsewhere in the world and get a grip.

@ForFirmBiscuit I was born here. Adopted by white English parents at birth but my birth parents were foreign (white, European). Am I English?

I can almost guarantee that the victims and perpetrators of the stabbings and shootings in London will be English, not immigrants.

OP I really feel for you. I absolutely hate our area. It is full of people I don't want my DC to associate with.

It feels like the set of Shameless and gets me down sometimes.

I don't think people who don't live in rough areas realise how it can impact your mental health on a daily basis.

Catford fits this description.

You live very close to me. We're 'up the hill' so a little away from it but it is so draining to go down the high street and see people who are high strewn about, people getting into fights with security guards because they were caught shop lifting etc. I worry about my kids a bit and it's changed where we go out and about. We could easily leave but I've heard from friends in other parts of the country of similar goings on too.

I don't have any suggestions as I know it's not as simple as just moving. Do you know many of your neighbours?

Fair enough but imagine witnessing or your child witnessing a stabbing or shooting. That would be quite traumatising.

Also from the same area! My nan brought got her house in the 70s, I grew up in the 90s, used to love the area.

My oldest child is thankfully in a fantastic school, but as soon as she's ready for secondary we are out.

It's just getting worse by the day

There is a gap between what you want and what you have. Your job is to work out how to get closer to where you want to be. It's not gonna happen overnight, but you're the only one that can make it happen.

Immigration

Move from london. Its cheaper outside london. I know moving from place that you know well its hard. But its part of being an adult. I move to UK from the other side of the world. Leave all my family behind.

if yiu feel unsafe. Just move out from london

https://connexus-group.co.uk/properties/16-elmdale-ewyas-harold

This website sometimes has direct access social housing

Is there any way your family member might be persuaded to invest in property in another area? If you could decide where you would prefer to live.

If you are not fussy where you go there are some places where you can get social housing direct access. Such as Herefordshire. Try platform Housing. Also there are places up north where the rent is pretty cheap like Hull. I can tell you that there are no stabbings or shooting in Herefordshire.

The thing is, whilst crime is clearly A Bad Thing, shootings and stabbings are largely between people who want to shoot and stab each other, not random attacks. With that being the case, my general view is that if I’m not involved in that world, it’s unlikely to affect me. Has worked so far, nearly 50 years in and also living in SE London

Most people get their rent paid by who?

So many people are paying a ridiculous amount in rent and can’t afford to live.

Yes I agree with previous poster, move somewhere else such as south east like Brighton or Worthing and you can claim universal credit to help with rent while you look for more work

I lived in SE12 for several years and my kids were born in London. I moved out around 2015 and would never go back. Now in SW although lived in Wales for a few years too.
Is there anyone you could possibly stay with for a while in another area so you could find your feet, get work and possibly start renting with help from UC? There are places so much cheaper and nicer to live.
I know private renting is hard to come by but there are areas in lower demand.

I've had a quick look on the lady website. Jobs.lady.co.uk (posh I know but don't hold that against them).
Loads of live in with cottages. Some even in Greater London and Essex. You'll need a DBS for some and good references.
The other thing is a school matron role but your children will need to be at school. They usually like ex nurses but apply if it suits.

Are you always so unpleasant? And thick ?