To ask if you had a preference for a boy or girl?

When I was pregnant I really didn't mind what I had, we didn't find out the sex. When my DD was born I was over the moon and realised she was exactly what I wanted. Had I given birth to a boy I probably would have been just as happy but I'll never know.

I overwhelmingly wanted a girl. I felt terrible guilt about it.

But I wanted a girl because I understand what it means to be a girl / woman, felt I’d be a good parent to a girl because I’d be able to help her through things like puberty etc with kindness and care, also - superficially - I’m not into the stereotype of “boy stuff” (football, video games, Pokémon, etc - although I know that plenty of girls like these things and plenty of boys don’t!).

Anyway; I got a boy and no girl. I was disappointed when I found out at the scan, but the moment he was born he was glorious and I loved him so much that there was just joy where there’d been disappointment.

I have mourned never having a daughter, though. I’ve had some therapy about it and I understand now it’s more about reparenting myself. I didn’t have a mother who understood me, and I (unconsciously) thought that having a girl would be having another go at a mother-daughter relationship, but this one with more kindness and more love.

Nope, there is no difference between male and female children until puberty.

Our first pregnancy was a MMC so alive was all we wanted for DD1 and DD2. We had planned 3 but that wasn't to be.

Agree, both of mine are very different

Before my 20 week scan I had vague visions of having a girl - I think this was to 'redo' my own childhood through her, and fix the past in my head.

Anyway, turns out, I have two boys!

But no disappointment as such

Girl!
boys= increased chance of having to do football and peeing around the toilet rather than in it!

I wanted a girl both times I was pregnant. Luckily I had two girls. I prefer female company in general so that’s why I wanted girls

I wanted a baby and that’s what I got. I genuinely didn’t give a monkey’s arse what I had. We have 2 sons. They’re absolutely amazing and we couldn’t be happier.

We, also, have a 5.5mth old grandson. DDIL & DS2 didn’t have a preference either way. They didn’t find out what they were having throughout the pregnancy, they wanted a surprise. Everyone was absolutely over the moon when he was born. He’s happy and healthy. That’s all that matters.

No real preference, for me it was part of the fun of meeting them!

I did go on to have two of the same, which has only reinforced to me that sex isnt that important - they're so different from each other, they couldnt be more so if they were different sexes

I genuinely had no preference but was convinced I was pregnant with a boy, so when I was told girl at a gender scan, I cried partially due to shock but I didn't experience any disappointment, I'd just convinced myself she was a boy until that point.

She's definitely DD, and honestly, I think I'd like a boy if I ever had another, however I wouldn't be disappointed if I had another girl.

I do 100% understand why people experience gender disappointment though, and I imagine it must feel terrible.

I wanted my last child to be a girl. I didn't mind with the first two but it was a very different feeling with my last. He's a boy and he's nearly two and I'm still disappointed. I love him i care for him and he won't suffer because he's not the sex I wanted but the feeling is real. Yea obviously a healthy child is the goal and the sex of that child isn't what we should focus on but we do still have feelings. I also wanted him to have dark hair like his dad and he's blonde saying that doesn't seem to get the vitriol you get for admitting you would have wanted a different sex.

Regardless we get the children we get and each one is a blessing. You may get the sex you want but they still have a personality you would not have chosen. Children are more than their sex

I did have a preference for a girl first pregnancy. Second I alternated between really not caring either way and kind of wanting another girl.

Preference for a girl because I've always had better relationships with women, and most sons I know are far less in touch with their families than the daughters. My own brother never calls our mum and moved really far away. Of course this could happen with a daughter but from my own experiences it happens with men a lot of the time and very rarely with women, so this has shaped my feelings about having daughters/sons (possibly wrongly).

I didn't really mind, because I was convinced there would be positives and negatives either way. I was not wrong 😂

Nah. No point in having a preference. You get what you’re given!

That's your confirmation bias. If you read through the comments loads of people say they had a preference for a boy.

I had huge anxiety while pregnant until I found out the gender. I hadn’t thought about a preference before that but knowing she was a girl was a huge relief. Or perhaps it was knowing the gender made her real. I’d only want girls from here on in, but am one and done so it’s moot

I wanted a girls so badly

I had a slight preference for one of each, in any order, but wouldn't have minded if I'd had two girls or two boys. I did end up having a dd then a ds. I never assumed that having a girl would mean pink and frills, and it very much hasn't (except for a brief period between the ages of about 3.5 and 5).

I wanted a girl both times, but have two boys. We had a surprise first time, and I was surprised but not disappointed when it was a boy. Second time, we found out, and I remember a twang of sadness, but as soon as I saw my then toddler son, I felt so excited that he would grow up with a brother. They are 8 & 11 now and I wouldn't change them for the world. In fact, we tried for a third and I was sort of hoping it would be a boy. Unfortunately, we had multiple miscarriages, which really sent home the message that sex had never mattered.

I thought you said no one admits to gender disappointment/preference on here.

I had a mild-moderate preference for a girl. I was very happy to find out we were having a girl but did experience a sense of loss for a few days at the realisation that I would never have a son. Even if people are disappointed it doesn't mean they end up not loving their child.

If I could have chosen, pre-kids, I would have said one of each was my ideal. When we found out I was having fraternal twins i felt one of each would be perfect. I would have been happy with two girls and fine with two boys but always imagined I'd have a daughter. I think we might have tried again if we'd had same-sex twins. As it happens we got one of each and I couldn't be happier l.

I wanted a boy with my first pregnancy. I'm not girly and have a bit a masculine energy. I thought I'd have a better bond with a boy as he grew up. She was a girl and of course there's been zero issues and she is a tomboy like I was. I had no preference the second time and had a boy.

Saying women who have a preference shouldn't have children is a classic, black and white response that is often seen on mumsnet.

My first child was a boy amd I didn't care. I didn't think I cared when I got pregnant the second time, but right as the sonographer started scanning me, I had a moment of panic where I thought 'oh no, what if its a boy?'. I have no idea where it came from but it felt very real. The baby was a girl but I know I would have loved a 'him' just as much.

Third time around, I felt very swayed towards a boy and when the doctor scanned me and said it was a girl, I felt a bit flat as I had bonded with a boy (as that's what I was expecting, even though it makes no sense). I got over it quickly and my little girl is fabulous and I'm so glad she was a girl.

I've no idea where my preferences were coming from but they didn't preclude me from being a good parent. I love all of my children equally and would have done regardless.

If I was to get pregnant again, I do think I would be too preoccupied with the health of the baby to think about the sex, as I'm now in my 40s and was in my 30s when I had the others. The reality of risks are more on my radar.

As long as a mother isn't dressing her son up as a girl to pretend she has a daughter or shouting at her daughter that she wished he'd been a boy, and that it's a private emotion that's dealt with appropriately, then any disappointment about the sex does not equate to poor parenting.