To ask if you had a preference for a boy or girl?

I wanted one of each and that’s what I got. Girl then boy. I feel incredibly lucky and love them both with everything I have.

It's called a preference. I never once said boys were awful - just that I would prefer to raise daughters.

DC1 - no preference; had a boy
DC2 - maybe slight preference for a girl so I would have 'one of each' but we found out he was a boy at 20 weeks. Would say I had a couple of days where I was a bit 'oh well that's it, I'll never have a daughter now' (we were planning to stop at 2) but after that, no strong feelings.

I have had a couple of friends confide in me that they initially felt sad to be having boys as they had never envisaged themselves as 'boy mums'. But now their boys are here they are very much loved.

When we had DS2 a couple of people asked after a while if we were going to have a third to 'try for a girl'.

We both wanted two boys and had twin boys!

We got asked many times "Are you going to try for a girl now?" - No thanks, we're very happy with our boys.

I’ve been pregnant 11 times and have 4 live children. My preference has been for a girl in each pregnancy. I’m sure I would have loved a boy if I’d had one but I didn’t. Interestingly, people are convinced we kept having more kids to have ‘one more shot at a boy’ but in reality my four girls are exactly what I would have chosen.

I think it’s a bit harsh to say that I don’t deserve to have kids because I had a preference for a girl - it wasn’t something I chose and not something I could rationalise. We never found out the sex of our babies and after all the trauma I went through to have my babies I’m sure I would have loved a boy just as much as I do my girls.

I had a MMC and couldn't get pregnant again for 2.5 years. Found out DH had low numbers and little motility. Got pregnant with our first through ICSI and then a few years later, we were so happy to have a natural surprise.. after being told it wouldn't happen naturally and we'd need ICSI again.

I genuinely did not care whether I had boys or girls. I was told I may never have children. My two boys are soundly sleeping in their room right now and I'm just happy I have two healthy children. Boys or girls...makes no difference to me.

I really wanted a girl to dress up 😧, shallow I know. Then we had DTs, one of each, and I realised little boys can be so loving. Still very close to both and DS has recently become a father to his own little boy.

I never said that.

Didn’t know what I was having for my first two because they wouldn’t tell us. Consultant was very old and old fashioned - it wasn’t all that long ago, early 90’s.
First - I couldn’t care less. Thought I was having a boy and had a girl.
Second - I wanted my little girl to have a sister. We had a girl.
Third - wanted another girl because after 2 girls I couldn’t imagine being a mum to a boy. We were told the sex this time round. It was a girl. We didn’t reveal the sex but everyone assumed we wanted a boy.

I wasn’t bothered for the first one, boy, second I thought a girl would be nice but not fussed boy, 3rd and last pregnancy I was keen on a girl to balance out the family. Twin girls. Maybe the moral is be careful what you wish for!

When I was pregnant in 1991 I wanted a girl, as I'm the only daughter of an only daughter and went to all-girls schools, so I didn't know anything about the requirements of samll boys or what you're supposed to buy for them/play with them/encourage them to be doing. I would have accepted a boy if that's what I was going to have, but the main thing was that I wanted a healthy child as I wasn't sure I could cope with a disabled child.
Fortunately my daughter was born perfectly healthy and will be 33 later on this year 😍😊.

I genuinely had no preference. I was only 17 when I got pregnant so the sex of the baby was the least of my concerns. Have a boy and he's my only child. Now if I'm honest I am glad I had a boy as unfortunately the world is an easier place for men.

I find stuff like this to be a symptom of other things. After commenting yesterday I was thinking about everyone I know who expressed a preference for a girl and the common denominator was they didn’t like or get along with their husband! Which is sad. A happy family matters more than the male/female make up of it. The happiest family I know have 2 sons who are just lovely, tweens now but very patient with my young DD and kind to her when we visit. The dad is wonderful though and DP’s best friend.

Why didn’t you want to raise boys? Surely if it’s some awful thing about them you don’t want that for your DDs?

I know someone who is exactly the same. Finds fault in everything the child does, its very sad 😔

Again, why would they? I wanted girls because I didnt want to raise boys, as a parent. Presumably I won't be raising my grandchildren, so it's a total non issue.

If I knew someone who had IVF and was then disappointed with the baby because of their sex, I'd think they were one of those people who's just never happy with what they have. If they'd had a baby of the "right" (ugh) sex, they would have found something about them to complain about as well.

I also find men funnier and easier to get along with but I find it v sad you couldn’t love a girl

Perhaps because as a child I always found boys easier to get along with. I was a shy anxious child & somehow boys with the right amount of cheek brought out the joy in me. Just as my DS does.

🤣 I’m NC with my mum as is her other daughter (my sister) and live down the road from my MIL who we see all the time

I think I wanted a girl first but that was for silly reasons like the cute clothing. I also have a boy and it's so much easier! Both are amazing. But ultimately I love them both for who they are. I think when you are pregnant the unknown can be unsettling hence why I chose to have a scan to find out the predicted sex beforehand. Overall, I'm counting my blessings for two healthy children

With my first I was young and didn't really mind but would have loved a girl, I didn't find out the sex and I had a boy. I was thrilled, I have a lovely older brother so I think I thought I'd have a boy first then a girl to mirror my upbringing.

I then had a big gap between my first and second, my second wasn't planned and I hoped for a girl as I'd already brought up a boy. We found out and I was disappointed. I was worried I wouldn't bond with the baby. I think looking back I was in a bad place with my mental health and I fixated a little on it because as soon as he was born I was in love and only cared he was ok. We are super bonded and I wouldn't want him to be anything other than what he is!

Im now expecting a 3rd and planned baby After a miscarriage of a planned baby and although I think I shouldn't I do have a slight preference for a girl as I know this is my last pregnancy and last chance to parent a girl. We aren't finding out this time and I know I'll be thrilled if it's a 3rd boy when they're born anyway so don't feel the need to find out. I also think it'd be nice for my younger son to have a brother close in age and practically they could share a room and I've kept all of his baby things.

ive read the whole thread and seen a few "I judge people who have a preference" comments. I do feel bad for it but can you control how you feel? I know I am blessed to have my boys and I love them with my whole heart. If at birth someone said you can swap with the woman in the bed next to you because she really wanted a boy and got a girl I'd be horrified and hold my baby boys so tight there's no way I'd have even contemplated it! It's not like I don't want or don't love my boys I'd just love to be a mum of a girl too. I was very close to my mum and she died young so maybe it's that. Like I said I also have a lovely older brother.

it's just one of those things we're all different and some will have a preference some won't, some people's preferences will be stronger than others.

so many people in my life have asked if I'm finding out the sec of my current pregnancy and a few have said I hope it's a girl or it'd be nice for you to have a girl so I don't feel the judgement in person that's mentioned on here really. I love my boys and I feel incredibly lucky and blessed to have been able to fall pregnant, carry and birth them.

Yes, I did have a preference both times and I'm not afraid to admit it.

I've always wanted a girl, and had a boy first time. I was slightly disappointed when I found out, but I do dearly love him, and wouldn't change him in any way. My husband isn't particularly macho or in to 'manly' stuff, and my son is the same. Sweet, kind, caring and interested in the world around him.

That being said when I was expecting the second time, I would have been happy either way, particularly knowing how lovely my son is, but still would loved to have experienced having a girl. I have a very close relationship with my mum and what that for myself too. As it happens my second is a girl.

I really wanted girls. Fortunately I have 2. In all honesty, I would've been disappointed if my 2nd was a boy.

I've seen the way some MIL's can act when their boys try to go off and start a family. I know how many people can't stand their MIL and I'm glad I won't have to go through that.

I always wanted a boy, got a girl.