Can’t pick bridesmaids, DP putting pressure on me to decide

Well, I think if your brother is being a groomsman, then it isn't unreasonable to ask for his sister to be a bridesmaid. And I can definitely see the argument that you can't have one niece in the wedding party and exclude their sibling, it's hurtful.

You could have neither niece though, and you have your bro as a bridesmaid and him have his sis as a groomsman. I think lots of people aren't so focused on gender for these roles any more.

Personally, particularly if you want to even out with your dh's 6 roles, I'd have best friend and closest other friend, 2 cousins, sis and niece.

MOH, cousins, close friend, sister, niece. That balances with his best man + 5 groomsmen

I didn't have any. You don't have to

Nicer in the photos for symmetry, everyone has someone to dance with etc etc.

Not compulsory by any means, but it's the norm to pick the same number on each side.

Personally I’d go for your two cousins, your fiancé’s sister and your fiancé’s niece. It would be unkind to exclude the niece given the other niece is a flower girl.
Your friends will still be your friends regardless and I think it’s kinder not to pick your ‘favourite’ out of them. They will still enjoy your big day.
Marriage is, imo, about bringing both families together, not so much about your side/his side!

I think you should include someone on your DP's side.

When I got married I had my best friend as MOH then I chose my youngest cousin and dh's youngest cousin.

Dh had my brother as a groomsman

Look, you obviously don’t want to have the sister or the niece, so don’t. But just be aware it sends quite a clear message that you aren’t “welcoming and embracing” his family and will probably upset your husband. I would have been quite upset if my husband had refused my male relatives to be part of his groomsmen. Were his sisters my number one choice of bridesmaid? Of course not, but for me weddings are about family and becoming one family, not me needing to be special princess for the day who has things exactly my own way.

I'd have the sister, purely so you don't need to put up with the aunties chatting about you excluding her. Then your cousins and your best friend as MOH.

That leaves one more slot if you want it equal (but again, the expense! 12 suits and dresses, 12 pairs of shoes, 6 sets of hair and make up, 12 gifts). I'd go with the second best friend as it doesn't seem to leave anyone out.

I wasnt a BM for any of my super close friends, they had family and it's really not a problem at all. I had relatives, my children were then BM for then, maybe their kids will be BM for mine, and so on

Why do you need the same amount of bridesmaids as groomsmen? I didnt think it was a british tradition for them to walk down the aisle in pairs like in the US? Usually the best man is already at the front with the groom and the ushers don't walk down the aisle?

1 x MOH friend
2 x cousin
1 x his sister
1 x his niece

Weddings are joining families, they also stick in your life longer than friends (even if you would prefer they didnt)

He's having your bro as his groomsman so you have to have his sister really

Oh sorry yes. It’s three close friends isn’t it? Have six then! Doesn’t make a lot of difference, also another reason for DP to be the one to give niece a role.

or stick to the family only.

think that’s really your two options

My SIL was 26 when I got married and we didn't have her as a bridesmaid. We aren't close. We asked her to do a reading instead.

Why is there pressure to decide on this now. You said the wedding is 14 months away. Who knows what position people will be in then. It’s possible that someone may be pregnant, have moved abroad or to the other end of the country, or any number of things.

I’d wait until the end of this year, at least, before making decisions.

Also the DP does sound quite pushy, might be reading it wrong but this is an ideal situation to make it clear to him that you won’t be making your decisions based on what he thinks should happen. He thinks his niece needs a role? Then HE gives her a role.

Cousins, best friend and his eldest niece. Then it's just family and your best friend. And they will become your nieces through marriage.

Tbh I don't like the "traditional" point. I bet he has been happy to have sex before marriage and all the other benefits that suit him. Now it suits him to use it again.

If you don't want the nieces, then tell him its adults only because of the morning of getting ready etc, same as he is having adults only, and close the conversation amd pick who you want.

I think that you should ask him to pick extra groomsmen if you want to pick everyone and for things to look balanced.

Names in a hat? That's what my cousin did as she has such a large friendship circle so she put all their names in a pulled out however many bridesmaids she wanted

You’ll get lots of responses telling you to have whoever you want because it’s your special day hun.

I think you should have his niece and sister, as weddings are about joining two families, especially since your brothers are groomsmen. It’s the nice and mature thing to do.

One option is to decide that bridesmaids will be family only - that gives you his sister and two cousins. Easy to explain to friends.

if you wanted to even it out and have 5, it’s cousins, two close friends, and his sister. I’d go for this as it covers the friend you were BM for.

His niece - his problem - he gets her to do a reading.

His sister and your cousins. Then you can tell friends you've had to keep family sweet and none of them get offended.

Having seen that the niece is 26 changes my mind - maybe just best friend and his sister

Niece, sil, your cousins. Easy to explain to friends that you're having relatives.