Can’t pick bridesmaids, DP putting pressure on me to decide

Then have your friends and cousins and own the decision.

I have told lots of friends that I am fascinated by their analysis of one near identical wedding dress over another. Because telling them they were boring me witless is rude.

However a harsh lesson of my own wedding was that no one was as interested in it as I was

I was very interested in all of my close friends’ weddings 😊.

Grooms sister as MOH
2 cousins as bridesmaids

Geez, you sound like a great friend. Not. I was incredibly interested in my sister's weddings and the details. I was interested in my friends weddings. I wouldn't have missed them for virtually nothing.

OP, I can promise you with absolute certainty that your 2 'work friends' won't be disappointed at not being picked as bridesmaids, in fact I suspect they'll secretly breathe a sigh of relief.

If your hell bent on matching your fiancé's numbers, I'd have MOH, his sister, his cousin, your own 2 cousin, and 'second very close friend'. This should cover most bases, and anyone else is probably unlikely to be massively bothered either way.

And the rest..! Dress alterations too. I had three bridesmaids and it cost more than 1k once you add everything up.

OP, I'm not one of those people who thinks weddings are OTT and you should get married in a New Look dress in the local registry office, but being this highly strung 14 months in advance doesn't bode well. It seems super important now, but it's really really not. I had a big wedding last summer, loved it, but all this stuff isn't really important. The main thing is who do you want there on the wedding morning as you're getting ready? I'd suggest having three 'maids of honour' to organise your hen, be there the night before/ in the morning etc (your best friend and two cousins) and two bridesmaids (DH's niece and sister) who can be as involved as you choose. They could maybe come along on the morning which gives you the night before with just your close group? But it'll keep DH's side of the family happy. We made a few decisions due to family pressures that we maybe wouldn't have have chosen in an ideal world, but it was no hassle really to be the bigger person and in the grand scheme of things it set the marriage off on a positive note.

I'm really excited and happy for my friend who's getting married.

I have been for other friends at important times in their lives too.

Life can be crappy and I find it uplifting to celebrate the positive things in our lives.

It's not selfish to pick your own bridesmaids.

Tell your fiancé that you have chosen per your list (I'd go for friends rather than work friends if it was me) and you didn't tell him who to have, so he doesn't get to tell you.

Once you've decided, then you won't have to keep discussing it or thinking about it.

If you really want to, you could just have your choices plus his sister and niece. 7 is not that different to 5. His sister might say no anyway as she doesn't want to be friends with you.

People invariably tell high maintenance people what they want to hear.

I hope you have a lovely day but it sounds like my idea of hell and a product of today’s “look at me culture”.

Having said that it’d be a dull world if we all thought the same.

What do you want bridesmaids to do?

Because mostly they just wear dresses and go in the photos.

There isn't really a job description and you may find whoever you pick has very different ideas of what is expected of them.

If your MoH is already the organiser then that part is covered.

Jeezuz!!
I would elope!

It is worth bearing in mind that other than the bride and occasionally the groom, nobody else is in the slightest bit interested in a wedding. Most people would rather be doing something more exciting instead.

It sounds awful to me.

I would have your maid of honour and the flower girl, then offer the niece if she would like to be bridesmaid. 16 is a tricky age, my DD declined to be my bridesmaid at that age.

What a palaver.

A friend's daughter had this problem and got round it by having her best friend from primary school as MOH and only children as bridesmaids. She then had some "bride's women" who were credited as such in the order of service and sat together in a pew at the front to one side. They had a common colour theme but otherwise wore want they wanted. Each had a role in the wedding eg one played a piece of music, one did a reading, one was a witness to the register, one made a short speech before the cutting of the cake.

Yes but you are going to look really shitty for excluding his sister when your db is included. Surely you can see that. You could do whatever you want but you will start of your marriage on a bad note with upsetting your dh and his family. Up to you.

Most likely that your work friends will fade away once you change jobs, have a baby or move on. I would choose his sister because she will be there for the long run and it doesn't matter that your dh is already close to your db, it will look like a really shitty thing to not equally include his sister. Surely you can see that.

Your 2 cousins
Friend
Sister
Niece

Done

No one is going to be able to answer this for you. You need to make a decision.

What do groomsmen actually Do?
Seems a ridiculous amount unless you are getting married in a cathedral with side aisles.
In the days when most weddings were in church their only function was to help get the guests with hymn books, orders of service and get them seated (and they were called ushers).
Bear in mind that the bridesmaids who aren't related to you may not feature in your life in a few years time, but your relatives will still be relatives. I thought that I had played safe with just having sisters (mine) and neices(DH) as bridesmaids and having my best friend to read a passage from the bible. Its been 30 years since we got married and I haven't spoken to (former) best friend since 2006.

Best man and 5 groomsmen/ushers 😂😂😂

My BIL and his wife had 29 matron/maids of honour, bridesmaids, flower girls, best man, ushers and ring bearers for their wedding. Totally over the top. She insisted rest of the family wore either black and white, or silver. My MIL had bought a blue dress and that wasn't allowed so SIL took her shopping and made her buy a different dress to fit the colour scheme. MIL over course had to pay for the second dress. There was a whole lot more I could add.