A bad mummy re child starting school :(

You're asking this question, when you're a primary school teacher yourself? Seriously?!

If you're thinking this, then is it that your head teacher is not very family friendly? I've only ever worked for heads that let me go to first day in Reception, sports days, class assemblies, performances etc. If you're working in a school where this is not a given, then you need to change places.

I get it, I too love ina village where there very few full time working mothers. It means there’s no childcare locally and that they all know each other so it leaves the working mum feeling a bit left out. They can attend all performances/be helpers. Etc. It’s a tough dynamic but one that only affects you.
the kids are resilient and fine and no know difference. They get on with it and are used to seeing a different relative at performances. Mostly gran, often aunty, sometimes mum. Very rarely dad as he worked so far away at that time. It gets better as they get older. And then it gets worse at the end of primary school and you are expected to be at the school every blooming week for something or other!!

You will meet staff at the welcome visit. And you can ask to reduce your staggered start time if it's easier. I'd try to do the home visit (either your dh or mum) and they can report back to you.

Is your dh worrying he can't attend them all?

And how does OP know which are the "non working parents" anyway? Has she been stalking them? Checking their bank accounts? How is she making this lofty decree on the parents of her students? All sounds very judgemental.

Op non working parents can have kids at home or caring or volunteering responsibilities, it’s not that they decide they’re not coming.

I agree this doesn’t make any logical sense. You say you only judge non-working parents who don’t come to events. The school will know you are a working parent and so by definition you shouldn’t be “judged” because they will know you are at work.

I think what you actually meant your OP to say is something more like “my daughter is starting school but I can’t go to most of the transition events because of work, I feel really awful about not being there and also sad that I’m missing it” in which case I’m sure a lot of people would empathise. But saying that as a PRIMARY SCHOOL teacher you think it will make you look like a “rubbish mum”? That only makes sense if you also think that parents at your own school who don’t attend events because they’re at work are rubbish.

Also where is your DCs dad, surely he could attend some of these? And if not then why don’t you think he’ll be judged for being “rubbish”?

Can your mum take her to some of the sessions? You definitely won’t be the only one who can’t attend.

Judgemental people often worry others will judge them. It figures.

So you don't judge working parents as a teacher but think other teachers will judge you as a working parent? Is that your experience of your colleagues?

You do however judge non working parents for not going to school events. Maybe they have other responsibilities eg caring for other children, an elderly parent. Or they just don't want to go. Their choice.

11 separate days sounds ridiculous. Most people with jobs wouldn't be able to attend them all. My DS starts school in September and there is a home visit and a welcome afternoon. That seems more than enough to me.

I was going to say the same thing. If your mum will be doing drop offs etc, surely it makes sense for her to be building a relationship with the school anyway?

Can you send your mum to some as she will be doing all pick ups and drop offs? (What a woman - committing to all that!)

11 days is ridiculous by the way. I’d be reaching out to the school to ask which sessions were actually essential and which ones are fluff

Why can’t your mother do the other days/times?

But surely as a teacher you must know that's quite normal for working parents.

Where does the worry that the school may not think you care come from?

If it's not an opinion you've held yourself.

Then why are you getting so het up about it? You don’t see the point of the days, so don’t stress about missing them, or about what other people think about you missing them.

Then why are you starting a thread calling yourself ‘a bad mummy’ and saying ‘This makes me looks like a rubbish parent, doesn't it?’ Just because you are working?

If you just want everyone to say it’s a crap situation then yes, it is crap that you can’t make every event but that’s life.

Enjoy your evening and I hope your LO settles in well.

You are not a bad parent.

The school are making unreasonable demands by putting 11 days into parents. Completely OTT

Do you think perhaps there are so many different transition day events, so that the school can allow for a variety of hours for people to be able to attend, and not assuming that everyone will be able to attend everything?

How does it work in the school you work at? Do you feel those that don’t attend everything are “bad parents”?

Your OP literally said ‘This makes me looks like a rubbish parent, doesn't it?’

If you are looking at this situation as a primary school teacher yourself and thinking parents in your situation are ‘rubbish’ then hopefully this will make you a more considerate and empathetic teacher.

Bring back the contact books they had before so I can write a note to a teacher? Have parents evening slightly later like they do at secondary school?

Well what do you want them to do for you? You’re the one who has stated you judge non working parents who don’t attend events.