To think that comments on Mumsnet are a good indicator of what people in real life think, but may not say.

This surprises me a bit. A lot of the feminist stuff I read on here talk about voting Tory and how the left are shafting women or whatever.
I'd hope a site like this would be supportive of feminism but I think it should welcome people left and right politically.

I read lots of threads across the board and for the most part would not know someone's political views - but I also like that there are places on here where you can discuss these views.

Regarding the OP, I think a lot of people do express views here that they would not say, but I think the people who post are influenced by the first few posters.
So if I ask about wanting to give my 13 year old a gin and tonic, if the first three posters say I am all kinds of crazy, then that's generally how the thread will go.

But precisely what is a 'feminine' role? Aside from the very physical realities of gestating, birthing and breastfeeding children, these are social edicts as to which tasks people should be performing based on what set of genitalia/chromosomes/physical bodies they possess.

There is no law that women are duty-bound to abide by these edicts, just a whole set of conventions and institutions set up to benefit a society that's always been structured to benefit the interests of men.

What other women do is 100% up to them and I neither care nor judge either way. What I don't accept is that roles are necessarily 'gendered' in such a way.

I too have a lovely husband. An awareness of the options, rights, responsibilities (or what's not the responsibilities) of women doesn't equate to a hatred of men, despite what so many MN threads try to convince others to believe.

I think that:

-pretty much everyone in the world is more emotional, angry and bitchy inside their heads than they are in public. Thank God for socialisation eh

• Women in particular are socialised to act 'nicer' in public than they may really feel
• Anonymity is liberating - for good and bad
• Many people are more small and large C conservative than they might claim to their peers.

Put all this together and yes I think MN might well be a real microcosm of how people are feeling IN THE EXACT MOMENT that they make their post.

But just because you post something mean or controversial, doesn't mean you're a twat all the time.

Personally I think a space that allows women to say exactly what they want, without policing or male social pressure, if a beautiful thing in itself even if I don't always like what I read.

No, I don't think.

I'm from a different breed.
I say it as I see it no in-between no sugar coating.
I will just come out with it bluntly getting to the point no faffing.
I won't say anything behind someone's back that I wouldn't say to their face.

feckin hell, what century is it again?

Lots of left wing feminists have lovely husbands. What’s a “feminine role”?

If it were truly a hellhole, you wouldn't be here. Unless you are also the bringer of bitterness and envy?

No one seems to agree what being a "feminist" means anyway.

@Brumhilda , could you expand/explain what a feminine role is?

Why ‘luckily’? What’s wrong with being left wing and a feminist? I didn’t realise they were negative traits!

You said it much better than I did!

MN is a good barometer of what a part of society is thinking. Other forums/groups are better barometers of other parts of society think.

I compare what I read here with what I read elsewhere, and sometimes what's written is very different. I have noticed though, that no matter what the overall mood/opinions of different forums/groups are in general - they have all become extremely polarised over the last 7-8 years, and since the election the temperature of argument has shot up. I've not seen any other group/forum quite as het up by VAT on private education.

It's not helped by the number of shill and sock puppet accounts that have appeared since the election was announced. Some of them are obvious from their very first post, others you can see nudging their threads in certain directions. The Reform shills have been the most obvious this week.

Not a feminist? So, not interested in equality for women? Happy to not have the right to vote for example? I mean you can be all the other things you said and still want to see equality between the sexes.

But to answer the OP's question - I don't think I'd make a sharp comment in real life to an acquaintance or someone I was having idle chit chat with. It's not worth the aggro it could cause. Online is a different beast though - sure spread it round that Dru is a judgmental bitch I don't care.

To be clear, most of what I say on here I would say to a friend or family member because the relationship is different. I'd obviously tailor it to be more tactful. But I feel like honesty is important in relationships, and I also feel a lot of what I respond to is people not standing up for themselves which is definitely not something I would do!

A million times this.

That’s a relief!

that's a perfect example. You are entitled to your opinion.

Why would you ever blurt this out in real life? it's none of your business, it's not advice, it's an opinion.

So of course people are honest here, it's not needed, polite or useful in real life.

MN is great to basically know what some people are saying behind your back 😂

Didn't mean to quote a post

Although there are plenty of raging misogynists on the Left.

I hope people on mumsnet are bitchier than in real life (lighthearted)

I don't like the "man with a big job / SAHM" model. I'll gladly say so on here, but not IRL. So, I think some people are more honest on an anonymous forum, at least in relation to some issues

Absolutely

Realistically, what would be the point to be brutally honest in real life? At best you end up having a big argument, which helps no one. No one wants to hear the truth, in many cases if you have to ask the question, you already know the answer.

There are apparently 9 million registered users of MN, so to say that it's not the real world and that it's an echo chamber and people don't really think like that, etc is almost certainly not true.

I think that when people can say what they really think, as opposed to what they know is socially acceptable/kind/tactful/not going to lose them their friends/social life, the answers on MN are what you get.

In public, most people will err on the side of not offending or upsetting or being brutally honest, but let's face it, we all think many things every day that we know we can't say! Well, MN is where we CAN say them. So all the jealousy and judgement that isn't socially acceptable in RL is right here on MN.

As an English person in Australia, I find Australians very polite and am cautious about unleashing the British cruel humour that I value so much. It's why I like unbuttoned moments with fellow Poms.

Yikes 'happy with a feminine role'? I've been a SAHM so it's not coming from a place of envy but WTAF?

Looking from the outside (Australia) I do sometimes wonder if one of the reasons Mumsnet took off is because English people find it difficult to be blunt. I think this is probably a good space to balance out that tendency (to not say it like it is very often).

I would agree with this. My husband isnt British and he has often noticed and commented on how Brits go from super duper superficial politeness to telling people to fuck off in the blink of an eye. It's like there are only two modes - super polite and really bloody rude and not much in between. I think we struggle to be assertive which is of course the healthiest way to be and is why we oscillate from very polite to fuck you quickly.